The Murky Zone Between Pussy and Porn

By Maverick

nightlifeWithin a mere nanosecond of meeting a new girl my brain always goes through the familiar thought process of categorizing the girl into tiers of beauty and the eventual sexual gratification.

First tier: true beauty. The top shelf. The Adriana Limas and Giselle Blumchens of the world. Not exactly a model? That’s fine. Even if she doesn’t grace the covers of magazines or parade the catwalks of major European cities, there’s something about her that catches your eye and doesn’t let go.

She’s flawless and everyone from your mom to your friends and enemies will be full of envy should they ever see her in your presence. She’s easily girlfriend material, and the thoughts of tying the knot and making her the mother of your children constantly seep into your brain.

The second tier is whether she’s bangable and not much more. You’ll never marry her or form a serious relationship but you have absolutely no qualms devouring her at the end of the night.

She might’ve had ten or fifty guys before you, but that doesn’t diminish your desire to slam that pussy and even put her in your coveted rotation for return business. She passes the fuckbuddy test with flying colors.

The third tier is that murky zone where the girl is not very attractive except, of course, when observed while being heavily intoxicated. She might be a bit chubby but have a decent face or have a so-so face but possess a decent body.

She’ll never become your steady girlfriend or even your steady fuckbuddy because she, like an empty milk cartoon, is disposable – meant for one night only. Oh, and she’ll probably make a perfect slump stopper.

There’re tiers below but you’d need to be heavily sedated (or be in a comma) to even contemplate any contact with these beasts.

I was sitting at a café in the center of Kiev, near the Independence Square. I was with some friends, a couple of Russian guys and their Ukrainian girlfriends. Knowing that I’ll be the third wheel, one of the girls invited her friend along. Immediately I placed this girl in the third tier.

She was a tad chubby but with a decent face and a very decent rack. Not girlfriend material, not even fuckbuddy material, just one-night stand material provided I had enough beers and no one else ever found out. We easily hit it off and as I kept downing the beers, my eyes were permanently fixating on her slightly exposed breasts.

And as I became more and more intoxicated, I began to see only those nicely shaped, full-of-life breasts that desperately required attention in the form of sucking and grabbing – completely ignoring the unattractive flesh and bones attached to them. After several more beers I felt like some wild animal was slowly taking over my psyche.

All I wanted to do was rip apart her clothes so I can play with those inviting jugs. I ignored the less savory parts of her body – pretty much everything else – and focused on those knockers. In fact, while I still talked to her my eyes were permanently fixated on those colossal and glorious twins.

I ended up taking her home that night and, just as I envisioned, the sex was absolutely lackluster. Unlike an animated 19 year old who rode me like an enthusiastic general commanding her troops into battle, just a week before, this one rode me slowly with her eyes fully closed, spacing out in her own world.

She may have experienced multiple orgasms while I closely followed the evening news on the TV behind her. Even after flipping her on her back, she laid there like a dead fish while I mercilessly pummeled her with all my might. It was only due to the unexpected tightness of her pussy that I managed to ejaculate.

I woke up the next morning and glanced in her direction as she was basking in the morning sun replete with a face smudged with mascara. My first reaction was she wasn’t as frightening as I anticipated. She was good enough.

No, she certainly wasn’t marriage or girlfriend material, or even deserved a coveted spot in my fuckbuddy rotation. Maybe one day she’ll win the lottery by meeting a guy who’d place her in his own first or second tier, but until then she is forever renegaded to be a solid third tier for myself and many other guys.

And most of those guys – like myself — should they be given a choice between having a lukewarm hole or stale laptop porn to jerk off to would readily pick the hole – even if it was attached to a less than appetizing face, body and personality.

Similarly to how a well-functioning society needs leaders and gravediggers alike, demand exists for women who have an uncanny ability of fitting into that muddy but indispensible zone between pussy and porn. And that might not be such a bad thing after all.

  
  • Dawson

    Man, how hideous was this girl? Makes me wonder…

    • Maverick

      Nah, she wasn’t that bad. “Good enough.”

  • Nick

    God bless the 3rd tier women! Sure beats wanking off in my dead’s basement.

    • Maverick

      Indeed.

  • Tom87

    I usually go for them 1 and 2 tier but something I don’t mind hitting one of those slump breakers once in a while. They help to change fluids if you know what I mean.

    • Maverick

      Everyone needs an “oil change.”

  • John

    You got pics of her? LOL

  • Joe Vegas

    I’m about to do one next weekend. She keeps texting me and will be my “Plan Z” if things don’t work out at the clubs.

    • Maverick

      Hope your “Plan Z” succeeds.

  • Wayne

    Solid post. I’ve been guilty myself of hitting a 3rd tier every now and again.

    • Maverick

      The 3rd tier was created for a reason.

  • The Puritan

    There’s something hideous about sobering up from an alcohol haze, pinned under the sweating hulk of a “tiers below” woman… You’re disgusted with yourself, and yet you are unable to escape… You’re on your back unable to throw off the tremendous bulk or her body… Your mind reels in terror… Your mouth open, gaping with a silent scream… In agony, you will your cock to deflate, but it won’t… Your cock has betrayed you again, taking over your mind and blinding you to its bidding. And the worst part is… the absolute worst part is that the more you despise yourself, the more you find yourself in this Kafkaesque situation, the more you fight not to come, the more you try to fight her off with every fiber of your being… the harder she rides you, goaded on by your futile attempt to escape. And then when you can take no more, your balls become electrified by the horrifying spectacle, and you, without any control slam up into her bulk with a sickening orgasm. You feel betrayed and feel hot tears streaming down your face… But then you notice that she continues to straddle you and is ready for more (after all, not many men would want to lay her). The terror in the realization makes your sore cock instantly hard again, and she again begins anew with her relentless and sickening gyrations… The nite has only just begun… your mind knows only two words: the horror… the horror…

    • Maverick

      Sounds like the beginning of a Stephen King novel. Go below a tier and that’s exactly how you’ll feel.

      “And then when you can take no more, your balls become electrified by the horrifying spectacle, and you, without any control slam up into her bulk with a sickening orgasm”

      That must feel quite pleasant.

  • Pingback: The Strange Danish Mating Rituals - Maverick Traveler()

  • Pingback: When Game Ceases To Be Work - Maverick Traveler()

  • Jack

    This is absolutely vile. Your writing is almost as awful as the rampant sexism you use it to spout. Seriously mate, this whole site is fucking revolting.

  • Mistral

    LOL….someone needs to tell Jack that he left his computer on, and his soulless, blood-sucking twat of a g/f is posting while logged on as him…..

    Incidentally, your “Tier” concept resembles “Ladder Theory” which is useful for explaining to noobs why the world is the way it is, and how the good-looking young pussy isn’t going to be distributed democratically after the revolution, either.

    Anyway, keep fighting, мой друг.

    Mistral

  • Pingback: From Czechoslovakia With Love (Part 2) - Maverick Traveler()

  • Pingback: I Spent 12 Hours Seducing A Russian Girl - Maverick Traveler()

  • http://www.boytoystory.com Boy Toy

    HAHA! Truth brother!
    Decent 3rd tier girl is better than a hand. Anytime.
    With that said, it should still only be a “last solution” and not a habit :P

  • Pingback: Welcome To Your Mid-30s - Maverick Traveler()

  • Harry A. Nuss

    “She may have experienced multiple orgasms while I closely followed the evening news on the TV behind her.”

    this is the type of stuff that keeps me reading.

  • Lola

    Your life sounds pretty unfortunate. I’d rather be a third tier female and never come across a dickbag like you than a second tier fuckbuddy getting your limp dick squished between my knees. Maybe this chick was super tight because your cock didn’t do anything for her and couldn’t possibly make her wet enough. She had to close her eyes just to pretend you were someone else.

    Call me a prude, call me a bitch, call me a twat, I don’t give a fuck. I just happened to accidentally fall into this troll hole on the internet, and I’m scrambling the fuck back out as fast as humanly possible. See ya later, scum.

    • Michelle

      Christ you must have a 10th tier dick to feel the need to put this much effort in to the most pathetic ‘game’ plan I’ve ever seen. Hilarious really.

  • AlexFirth91

    Lmaoooo I just found this site. Thanks man you’re a hilarious but seriously informative writer.