Most of my friends in US are immigrants, and most have immigrated from Eastern Europe. A friend who recently moved to the Miami area with his wife recalled initial hardships in the land of opportunity.
The first six months in the new country were unbearably difficult. So difficult, in fact, that they were on the verge of splitting up many times. First, it was the difficulty of speaking a new and challenging language. Neither of them spoke English fluently, so it was a struggle to learn it fast. Second, finding a nice place to live quickly was nearly impossible without solid references and a decent deposit. Third, finding a decently paid job where you weren’t treated like a slave wasn’t very easy, either.
They fought with each other constantly, with the wife threatening to get on the first plane home many times. The husband, however, stood his ground and assured her to look at the big picture, and not give up merely because of some setbacks.
Eventually their perseverance started to pay dividends. They moved to a nicer house, got better jobs, and and adapted to their new environment.
They’re, for the most part, a happy couple now — a marked change from a year ago when they were busy ripping each other apart.
What are the differences between men and women? Ok, they’re many, probably even too many to mention here.
Now, how about the biggest differences between men and women? Now, we’re getting closer.
From those bigger differences, one of the bigger ones is, undoubtedly, that men are primarily logical thinkers, while women are primarily emotional thinkers. Of course, nothing is set in stone, and there’re exist logical thinking women (American lawyers), and emotionally driven men (poets, etc). But barring these extreme cases, the former situation holds true.
Women are inherently emotional creatures. That’s what makes them special. They’re like colorful butterflies, effortlessly moving through life by emotions alone. One second they can act happy; the next they might be moody; and the very next they might be in full out rage.
Men are very different. Men are the planners, architects and builders of the world. We listen to a problem, perhaps consult those closest to us, and make a decision that stands. Emotions are duly weeded out.
A real man is an emotional rock.
A real man doesn’t believe in small setbacks and fights through the end for a cause he truly believes in.
A real man views emotional outbursts as a weakness and an ability to hold oneself together.
A real man provides the much needed stability and gravity to others whose life is in complete disarray.
He’s the anchor giving refuge to the emotional-driven people around him.
When the world is seemingly crumbling down and the sky is falling, a real man comforts those closest to him by assuring them that tomorrow will be a brand new day — a chance for new beginnings and opportunities.
A real man is a pragmatic man, who perfectly understands that while emotions are a human trait that make us who we are, sometimes we need to see the big picture, and emotions greatly impair our vision of seeing the light at the end of the long, cold, and dark tunnel.
On the other hand, a real man is not some stoic, emotionless being, but he refuses to let emotions control and guide his decisions and therefore his life.
The last time I ran into my friend and his wife last spring in Miami Beach. They looked great together, and his hot Russian wife couldn’t keep her hands to herself.
Even though she’ll never verbally admit it, she’s very grateful for her husband’s stubbornness of not giving up and seeing the struggle through to the end. She’s also thankful for his strength in calming her down in times of distress.
And above all, she’s appreciative for the opportunity to have this man by her side, a man who doesn’t let his emotions get the best of him — a real man.
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