Maverick Traveler

Location Independence, Geo Arbitrage, Individual Freedom

Become A Real Man #6: Real Men Are Emotional Rocks

[Note: This is a continuation of the Become A Real Man series with new articles live every Monday.  See first five commandments here: 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5]

Most of my friends in US are immigrants, and most have immigrated from Eastern Europe.  A friend who recently moved to the Miami area with his wife recalled initial hardships in the land of opportunity.

The first six months in the new country were unbearably difficult.  So difficult, in fact, that they were on the verge of splitting up many times.  First, it was the difficulty of speaking a new and challenging language.  Neither of them spoke English fluently, so it was a struggle to learn it fast.  Second, finding a nice place to live quickly was nearly impossible without solid references and a decent deposit.  Third, finding a decently paid job where you weren’t treated like a slave wasn’t very easy, either.

They fought with each other constantly, with the wife threatening to get on the first plane home many times.  The husband, however, stood his ground and assured her to look at the big picture, and not give up merely because of some setbacks.

Eventually their perseverance started to pay dividends.  They moved to a nicer house, got better jobs, and and adapted to their new environment.

They’re, for the most part, a happy couple now — a marked change from a year ago when they were busy ripping each other apart.

What are the differences between men and women? Ok, they’re many, probably even too many to mention here.

Now, how about the biggest differences between men and women?  Now, we’re getting closer.

From those bigger differences, one of the bigger ones is, undoubtedly, that men are primarily logical thinkers, while women are primarily emotional thinkers.  Of course, nothing is set in stone, and there’re exist logical thinking women (American lawyers), and emotionally driven men (poets, etc).  But barring these extreme cases, the former situation holds true.

Women are inherently emotional creatures.  That’s what makes them special.  They’re like colorful butterflies, effortlessly moving through life by emotions alone.  One second they can act happy; the next they might be moody; and the very next they might be in full out rage.

Men are very different.  Men are the planners, architects and builders of the world.  We listen to a problem, perhaps consult those closest to us, and make a decision that stands.  Emotions are duly weeded out.

A real man is an emotional rock.

A real man doesn’t believe in small setbacks and fights through the end for a cause he truly believes in.

A real man views emotional outbursts as a weakness and an ability to hold oneself together.

A real man provides the much needed stability and gravity to others whose life is in complete disarray.

He’s the anchor giving refuge to the emotional-driven people around him.

When the world is seemingly crumbling down and the sky is falling, a real man comforts those closest to him by assuring them that tomorrow will be a brand new day — a chance for new beginnings and opportunities.

A real man is a pragmatic man, who perfectly understands that while emotions are a human trait that make us who we are, sometimes we need to see the big picture, and emotions greatly impair our vision of seeing the light at the end of the long, cold, and dark tunnel.

On the other hand, a real man is not some stoic, emotionless being, but he refuses to let emotions control and guide his decisions and therefore his life.

The last time I ran into my friend and his wife last spring in Miami Beach.  They looked great together, and his hot Russian wife couldn’t keep her hands to herself.

Even though she’ll never verbally admit it, she’s very grateful for her husband’s stubbornness of not giving up and seeing the struggle through to the end.  She’s also thankful for his strength in calming her down in times of distress.

And above all, she’s appreciative for the opportunity to have this man by her side, a man who doesn’t let his emotions get the best of him — a real man.

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  1. One thing I believe what a real man should do is communicate and face the problem. In today, American men act like American women. One example is me asking a former friend sister out on a date. Long story short, she claimed I was harrassing her, without her or anyone telling me about it. My friend stopped talking to me and I couldn’t figure out why? Until I ran into him and asked if there was a problem. He said no and than thought about it and started to accuse me of harrassment and hinting of possible rape. I thought, finally, he is telling me the problem. It ended with me lecturing him on to talk to me if I did something wrong, be a man and talk to me about the problem.
    Needless to say, he never talked to me after that talk, even though he said he was sorry and we should talk over a beer. Most likely, his sister and the rest of his family convinced him that I was the bad guy.

    • @facebook-100000334039024:disqus , it takes a real man to discuss something and/or admit they were wrong. These days there’s a lot of passive-aggressive shit going on, and that BS needs to end.

      Sounds like there was some sort of witch hunt going on against you. Maybe you’re better off without that “friend”.

      • I agree, looking back at the 3 years I knew him and his sister. They were the type you wrote about in your blogs. The typical American woman and that friend was everything not of what you think a man should be. His sister looked like a sweet gal, not stuck up and such, but clearly I was wrong. Appearance is totally deceiving. Now I use your blogs as a guideline to learn.
        P.S The girl next door is not the girl next door. She is a lying, self-centered, judgemental and thinks highly of herself.

    • The roles are reversed for American men and women. Not for the better, obviously.

      • Maverick

        January 12, 2013 at 4:14 pm

        Although that is very true, women still, at least, biologically want a man they can confide in.

        In Russia (and probably all of Eastern Europe), women want to feel “as though they’re behind a stonewall” which is a reference as to with kinds of men they feel most secure.

        Or, as they say in America: “Save the drama for yo’ mama” 🙂

  2. I disagree that emotional outbursts are a sign of weakness. Perhaps if someone is consistently just yelling and out of control without rhyme or reason. Otherwise some situations call for it, i.e. you are fighting for some cause, debating on a topic you deeply believe in, I think it is wholly appropriate to let go and put all your energy into it. I think it depends on what you consider to be an emotional outburst. Subjectivity of language is quite problematic.

  3. Yeah, but I wouldn’t want a childish woman who freaks out at the slightest provocation.
    I got shit to do, you know what I’m saying? In other words, I don’t want to constantly console a hysterical female crying her eyes out because life is hard. I would say, in a woman, I would condone one episode of crying for something really serious, not constant waterworks and accusations. If things are rough and my wife (Keep in mind “wife” the woman who vowed to stay through sickness and health, till death do us part) threatens to leave, I would lose all passion for that ridiculous child instantly. His wife sounded like a parasite, and a bit stupid. If she didn’t have any qualifications or money, what would she be doing all alone in Russia? Leeching off her family instead of off of me? Ewww no thank you.

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