Maverick Traveler

Location Independence, Geo Arbitrage, Individual Freedom

Indonesian Women: The Real Guide To Asia’s Most Exotic Women

Indonesian women and, for that matter, Indonesia, was never on my radar. As someone who mostly roamed in Latin America, the only thing I knew about Asia was places like Thailand, China and Japan; in fact, the first time I ever went to Asia was when I flew to Thailand in 2004.

It wasn’t until 2016 that I returned back to Asia when I escaped the dreary Eastern European winter and flew to the tropical island of Bali where I ended spending three months.

While I haven’t been properly introduced to Indonesian women before my trip, I certainly had an idea of what they looked like. For instance, there’s Anggun, a singer who was part of the Enigma music project, whose music I greatly enjoy up to this day. Dark with long black hair, the only word to describe her is exotic. 

While not all the women in Bali (or in the rest of Indonesia) resembled the famed singer, many certainly were tall, dark and exotic. Moreover, there’s a lot more than meets the eye.

The following article is written by my friend Robert, a German guy who has been living in Indonesia since 2005 with his Indonesian wife.

Introduction 

Indonesia is a country that’s, by some estimates, is made up of more than 17,000 islands. Most of the people know Indonesia’s most famous island: Bali, but there are a few other important islands such as Sumatra, Java (where the capital, Jakarta, is located), Kalimantan and Sulawesi. The rest of the islands are typically small islands that are located near the big ones.

Indonesia is the world’s most populous Muslim country. Although it’s nowhere near as conservative as Saudi Arabia or Kuwait, the level of conservatism varies from region to region. For instance, in the city of Banda Aceh, at the northern tip of Sumatra (close to Malaysia and Singapore), Islamic law is in place which is similar to Saudi Arabia. However, the rest of Indonesia is pretty relaxed when it comes to Islam.

Bali, the famous island, is the only region in Indonesia that’s not Muslim: its main religion is Buddhism.

The types of women

For the most part, you can categorize the women in Bali into three types: super conservative, mildly conservative and not conservative.

It’s easy to understand what kind of women you’re dealing with just by looking at her behavior. If she wears a veil that’s an obvious sign that you’re dealing with a conservative woman who abides by conservative Islamic principles and isn’t really open to some casual relationship. This type of woman would be most likely seeking a Muslim man who her parents would approve. As a fly-by-night Westerner, these types of women would be simply out of your reach.

The second type of woman is a less conservative middle-class woman. While she may not be wearing a veil when she’s outside, there’s a good chance that she’s directly looking for a husband and not really interested in random dating. A few dates with this girl and the next thing you know is that she wants you to come over to her house for dinner and be introduced to her parents. This is typically not the type of woman you would ever meet in a bar or a club.

The third type of a woman is a Westernized Indonesian woman that listens to Western music, wears (revealing) Western-style clothing and spends her free time by frequenting various bars and clubs. This type of woman would be the easiest to engage in a casual relationship and she may even be open to having a one-night stand if you meet her in a bar or a club (or even online dating; see more of that below).

If you’re looking for a more serious relationship or even marriage, your goal is to cultivate a social circle so that you can meet more of the second type of women. On the other hand, if you’re looking for something casual, then don’t sweat it, since you’ll be able to meet those types of women in the places where Western women typically hang out: bars, lounges and clubs.

Meeting the family

If you’re dating a fairly traditional Indonesian woman and she invites you back to her house for dinner, you must understand that it’s an important step in direction of a much more serious relationship or even marriage. 

This is why I urge to think twice before accepting a girl’s invitation to have dinner with her family. When you show up to the date, you’re essentially making a statement that your intentions are serious and that you’re looking into marrying the girl. Don’t accept the invitation when you know you are never marrying her and that she’s just someone with whom you’re passing your time.

How to know if she’s marriage material

For all the traditional and conservative aspects of the culture and the country, there are plenty of Indonesian women who are only after your wallet and nothing else. Let’s talk about some ways you can determine if she’s marriage material or just merely an opportunistic gold digger.

If you initially met the woman in a bar or a club, then you have to understand that she mostly enjoys a casual lifestyle and has probably met multiple men before you in the same fashion. While it’s not necessarily a red flag, you must understand that this type of woman probably enjoys receiving lots of attention from men and favors short-term relationships over long-term ones.

If a woman brings forward the topic of money early on in the interaction, or even on the first couple of dates, that’s definitely a red flag. That could mean she’s trying to gauge how much financial resources you have and whether you can be a good provider for her (instead of someone she’s sexually attracted to).

Another thing that really helps is to get the opinion of your other friends and acquaintances who are aware of your relationship. When you’re in a relationship with a woman you like (or love), you’re mostly blind to her behavior. You tend to rationalize everything she does as good and ignore anything that might be negative. But because your friends and acquaintances aren’t emotionally involved with the woman, they see things for what they are. Thus, if your friends notice something that’s off, they can let you know. 

It’s even better if your friends are local Indonesians instead of other Westerners. Indonesians (men or women) understand their own kind and will alert you if something isn’t right, especially if they feel that the woman is using you.

Another tip is to look around at her friends. If most or all of her friends are slutty and are always frequenting bars, or most of her friends have foreign boyfriends who are sending them money, then there might be a high chance that the girl you’re with is also doing that (either with you or another foreigner) or has a similar mindset of her other friends. In that case, I would pay close attention to her behavior and attitude towards yourself.

You must be super vigilant if your only form of communication is online and you’ve never physically met her in her hometown. Even if she’s always willing to chat with you online at the exact same time, that doesn’t mean that she doesn’t have another guy in her life. 

I have known a couple of guys who spent months and months (and even years) chatting with a girl—and even sending her money—only to find out later that she was actually living with her boyfriend for many years. This would be a super heartbreaking experience that I don’t ever want you to go through.

Beware of the woman “disappears” for days at a time without any explanation and then reappears as if nothing happened. This could mean she was spending time with another guy without telling you anything.

In the same fashion, beware of a girl that has two phones. One phone might be for communication with friends and you, and another phone might be for communication with her “clients.” 

Other than that, trust your gut because typically it’s rarely wrong. If you suspect foul play, spend time to investigate why you’re having this feeling in the first place. If you can back it up with some facts, especially if you know your girl is not being honest with you or is playing games, it might be a good idea to confront her about it or find a new girl altogether.

Where to meet women

Meeting Indonesian women is really like meeting any woman. If you’re in a big city like Jakarta or Surabaya, then I would recommend frequenting the nicer places such as the nicer shopping centers, cafes, lounges, etc. 

When it comes to traditional day game, it’s going to be hard in Indonesia because it’s super hot and humid outside and because most of the cities aren’t really walkable. The sidewalks are either in poor condition or completely inexistent and people mostly move around the cities in cars, buses or scooters. That’s why it’s much easier to meet women in places with air-conditioning than outside where foot traffic is relatively rare.

Meeting women online

A much better option is to meet women online. Since everyone is on the Internet and pretty much everyone has a smartphone (yes, even women in Indonesia), meeting women is both easy and effective. 

There are generally two ways of meeting women online in Indonesia. The first is an app that everyone has already heard of: Tinder. While Tinder works really well, the type of women you’ll most likely to meet on there will be more suitable for casual relationships than something as serious as marriage. 

The second method of meeting Indonesian women would be via online dating sites. This is by a far a much better way of meeting women than something like Tinder. The women you’ll meet on there will usually be of higher quality and more interested in serious relationships. 

For meeting women online in Indonesia, we wholeheartedly recommend using Indonesian Cupid, one of the largest dating sites and communities for meeting Indonesian women. Signing up is absolutely free, and you can do so here.

Final thoughts

There you have it. The concise guide to meeting and mating Indonesian women. If you like Asian women, you’re going to love spending with Indonesian women since they exhibit a certain exoticness that other Asian women such as Thai, Vietnamese or Filipino simply do not.

While I have been fortunate that I met my future wife within in the first three months of moving to Indonesia, and our union has been nothing short of amazing, I also know of many situations where foreigners (bule) haven’t been as fortunate. When it comes to women, there’s a quote that a good friend told me a long time ago, “trust, but verify.”

And for meeting quality Indonesian women from the comfort of your couch, check out this great website.

Ukrainian Brides: Avoiding The Most Common Scams

I suppose one of the benefits of a free market economy and capitalism is that there are services for everything. Just like the popular catchphrase, “There’s an app for that,” if something is difficult or confusing for someone to do, you can be sure someone out there will come and simplify the process for you. For a fee, of course.

One of these services is the familiar “mail-order bride” phenomena that started some time ago. It’s basically a way for men abroad to choose among the preselected women and marry them right away, instead of endlessly dating them for many years as traditionally done.

Another way to view the entire mail-order pride phenomenon is as a “concierge” service where someone is essentially hand-holding your hand throughout the entire process, from helping you choose a mate, to communicate with her and, ultimately, arranging for you to meet her in her home country. That’s in comparison to a “self-service arrangement” like Tinder or a regular dating site where you’re forced to do everything else.

There are obvious benefits to such an arrangement. For example, if you’re an American guy in Texas, and you’re interested in a Ukrainian woman from Kiev, there’s a lot of things that you need to know and understand. The elephant in the room is the cultural differences. Someone with experience matching such people before would obviously help you navigate the landmines of incompatibilities and other possible problems.

But just like with any full-service arrangement, there are various risks that you must take into account. First of all, there’s a big risk of being scammed by the agency owners. Secondly, there’s the risk of being scammed by the foreign women themselves. Let’s analyze these risks in greater detail.

Marriage agency scams

When you’re dealing with a full-service agency, you’re essentially relying on them to help you at each step of the way. Naturally, they’re going to charge you for this. The more hand-holding you need, the more money you will have to shell out. I know a dating agency here in Kiev that charges you every time a woman opens and reads the man’s message. Another agency charges when someone sends a guys message. This is an addition to charging various fees when it comes to actually meeting the woman in person and everything else.

There was a popular documentary on Netflix named “Love Me” that chronicled the journey of several Western men, ranging in age from mid-30s to 60s as they traveled from their Western country all the way to Ukraine, all arranged by a particular marriage agency. Only one guy (a guy from Texas) brought his new Ukrainian wife back to the States; the rest were played (manipulated) by the women in one way or another. One guy was even swindled by the local police that worked in tandem with the “bride” he was pursuing.

Love Me Documentary

The moral of the story is that grass isn’t particularly greener on the other side and that many things can go wrong when a wealthy Western man tries to marry a not so wealthy, but very attractive Eastern European woman. Of course, there are success stories as well, but the point is when things don’t work, not only do they hurt the guy emotionally, but financially as well.

This brings me to the second point: apart from being gamed by these marriage agencies, there’s also the risk of being gamed by the women themselves. Actually, Ukrainian (and Russian) women are known for being experts in manipulation. (As someone who’s been living in Ukraine for five years, I definitely confirm this and tell you that it’s absolutely true.)

Ukrainian women are experts at extracting resources from men like oil companies are experts at extracting oil from the ground. Part of it is because they’re very beautiful and sexy and they know that men are crazy about them—especially those men who’re willing to travel abroad in order to court and seduce them.

The way it works is that if a woman feels like you’re valuing her very high because you’re always doing things for and are afraid to voice your concerns or even say something negative about her, she will keep asking for more and more things. A lot of Western guys that come to Ukraine are naturally smitten by the local women, and women feel this right away and demand more and more things as a result of the guys’ high interest.

This type of manipulation can start small and innocent. It can initially take the form of financial help, maybe as low as one hundred dollars or as high as several hundred dollars. If she gets that, she may ask for more and more things until you draw the line and refuse. Even if you refuse, she might use guilt into getting you to do additional things for her.

This is a trap that many guys fall into because as men we’re hardwired to acquiesce to a women’s demands in order to get what we want (e.g., sex, relationship, marriage). That’s especially true if the woman is ultra feminine, a stark difference from the most masculine Western women that we are surrounded with today.

While this type of manipulation is difficult to handle, one way to deal with it is to trust your intuition. If you feel that you’re taking for a ride—in a literal or figurative sense—then it’s not a “feeling,” it’s most likely the reality. As they say, the gut almost never lies. In my experience, the gut has been right in around 99-100% of the cases.

Of course, another option is to not put yourself in such a position in the first place. When you go abroad to meet women, and you’re socially awkward or of a certain age (e.g., over 50), you’re essentially conveying that you can’t get laid at home and that’s why you’re going abroad to trade your wealth and passport for the chance to be with a woman. Although that can result in love, you have to admit that the first thing these women notice is the material gain to be had.

Yet, another option is a sort of a middle ground. You go abroad to meet foreign women, but you don’t employ the services of these dating agencies. Instead, you go the independent route by flying to the foreign country and meeting the women on your own. This might be in person or with the help of the various dating sites. There’s the infamous Tinder, but we at Maverick Traveler are huge fans of Ukraine Date (read our review here or join the site for free here), which we believe is the best way to meet gorgeous Ukrainian women in Ukraine.

Final words

While marriage agencies and “mail-order brides” fill a particular niche in an ever-expanding and lucrative international dating market, they are certainly not without their drawbacks. Having said that, I’m sure there are plenty of love stories and successful relationships that have resulted from this arrangement. But, as always, it pays to stay vigilant and trust your intuition for any foul play—all without having to keep your guard up so high that you can’t enjoy the woman you’re after.

Dating Foreign Women: The Real Pros And Cons Nobody Mentions

It’s the beginning of summer here in Kiev, Ukraine, and in my centrally located neighborhood, you can hear more and more English (as well as Turkish and other foreign languages). Yes, it’s the time of the year where tourists are coming in droves; one of my friends from New York decided to come out for the entire summer by booking an Airbnb for three months. When the temperature drops in mid-September, he’ll be on the first flight out.

There are many reasons that, mostly, Western tourists come to Ukraine. One reason is history. Ukraine is replete with history, so if you’re someone who’s interesting in exploring an ex-Soviet Union country, you will enjoy a city like Kiev as well as the entire region. 

But let’s not beat around the bush much longer. If you’re a man between the ages of 18 and 70, and you’re not accompanied by your girlfriend or wife, and you’re not some scientist who’s here to study WWII history or some ancient civilization, and you have a pulse, chances are you’re here for one reason and one reason only: the women. Everyone knows this. Everyone has at least has heard of rumors that Ukrainian women are some of the most beautiful in the world. Not to mention super feminine and submissive. 

Last week, I sat down and had coffee with a 57-year-old English tourist. He’s originally from southern England, but, just like myself, loves travel and women, and has spent a good amount of time living in all kinds of countries like Colombia, Thailand, and the Philippines. He loves women. And that’s why he decided to spend the summer in Ukraine. 

“Nothing beats Ukrainian women for their sheer beauty,” he assured me. 

The problem is that women know this too. A lot of guys think that women are stupid, that they’re emotional and can be easily manipulated, that you can arrive on a flight from Rome, Istanbul, New York or London and sweet talk some woman off her feet and make her yours. But that’s a common rookie mistake. Women—especially Ukrainian women—are actually pretty smart, and they know exactly why you are here. And, as the case is in Ukraine, they also know that they’re some of the most beautiful women and the world which gives them a certain sense of entitlement—especially with foreign men who flew thousands of miles for a chance to spend time with them.

In psychology, there’s an important concept called validation. Validation is when you elevate someone’s value relative to yours by doing something for them. You can validate someone directly or indirectly. A compliment is the simplest form of validation. It’s rare that I would compliment a woman if she’s not pretty, but if a woman is much more gorgeous than the women I regularly date, compliments will naturally fly out of my mouth.

Furthermore, If I take a girl out to an expensive restaurant on a first date, when I usually invite other women to my apartment for a glass of Georgian wine, I just validated her by letting her know that her value is super important to me and that I’m willing to do more than usual to get her to like me.

If I invite a girl on an expensive trip abroad, when I usually invite other women for a drink at a cheap dive bar, then, guess what, I’ve just validated her by indirectly letting her know that I don’t usually date women of her high caliber.

When you travel thousands of miles from your home to a country that’s known for very feminine and beautiful women, well, what does that say about you? In many ways, it’s the ultimate form of validation that a woman can receive.

A woman instinctively knows and understands this. She knows that if you’re willing to spend so much time and money to fly so far away, then perhaps there’s a good chance that you’re not very successful with women in the country you’re in, otherwise you would be having sex with them instead of spending many hours on the plane. That naturally puts you in a weaker position right from the start. (If you need further proof, watch a few episodes of the show 90 Day Finance.)

Of course, that’s not true in all cases, there are some exceptions (I’ll cover those later), but that’s really the elephant in the room that needs to be covered and addressed.

That’s especially true if you’re coming from countries that are known for sex tourism like Turkey or Italy, or if you’re over 55 with really no other business in Ukraine, or if you’re a guy of any age (even young) but awkward and not really social around women.

While I want to sound optimistic and tell you that, yes, you will find your love in Ukraine, the reality is that if you’re 55 and are trying to date 25-year-old Ukrainian women, you will need a bit more than pure charm and personality to compensate for the age difference. Of course, money, fame, and status all can bridge the gap, but my point is that merely “love” won’t cut it. A certain transaction must take place.

A couple of years ago, I remember having a conversation with a 52-year-old American guy who came to Odessa and ended up meeting a 23-year-old girl at a bar. As I was talking to him, he couldn’t stop how he was able to get this girl’s number as though he hadn’t talked to a single woman in the past 50 years.

Of course, he was happy that she liked him enough to give him her number, but call me a cynic (although I prefer a realist), the reason she probably gave him her number was because he spent all night buying expensive drinks for everyone in the bar including her, something that no regular Ukrainian guy would ever do.

For all the glory about being a foreigner who’s dating exotic local women, sometimes it’s nice to be a local guy. Ukrainian guys are simple, no-frills men. Unlike Western men, they don’t go out of their way showing off or trying to prove anything (showing off seems to be mostly a Western thing). They’re mostly to themselves and doing their thing. 

In fact, that’s the beauty of it all. Because when a girl likes a simple, no frills Ukrainian guy, she likes him for who he is. She likes him for his personality, for his stoic attitude, for his no bullshit behavior, but above all, for the very fact that all his sees in her is a simple woman, and that he’s not putting her up on the pedestal by traveling tens of thousands of miles away just to take her out to some expensive restaurant. She has no choice but to like him for who he is, otherwise, she wouldn’t be with him.

I’m not saying that all foreign dating is a form of validation. Of course not. I met my amazing Lithuanian ex-girlfriend by chance at a bar in Copenhagen. A year later, we were living in Copenhagen and later on even moved back to Lithuania to live together.

The keyword here is chance. It all happened by accident. I was just passing through Denmark as part of my European adventures when I decided to check out a bar. Our eyes locked and we decided to get to know each other further. Then, when I visited Lithuania, I came directly to see her—not because I was so desperate that I wanted to seek validation from random Lithuanian women.

The same thing happened to one of my friends in New York. He was in Moscow on a long-week business trip. During a random walk through Moscow’s downtown, he bumped into a girl at a store. They exchanged contact information and began dating. Three years later, they got married.

Compare both of those experiences to a 35-year-old needy and nervous guy who can’t get laid back home or a 60-year-old retiree who takes every woman he meets on an expensive date in the hope of impressing her into liking him. 

The difference between the two situations is one word: mission. It helps to be on your mission. Then, meeting a woman here or there becomes a nice side effect as compared to when you make meeting women your main focus.

The power of the local guy

A random Ukrainian guy might not have the cachet of being an exciting foreigner, but he will never suffer through the stigma of being called a sex tourist. He will never be in a position of trying to build something with a woman while the woman scheming with her friends on the best way to extract resources from him. He will never have to endure the pain of ultimately realizing that his relationship with that hot 23-year-old is contingent on him giving her money and taking her to nice places; as soon as he stops, the attraction disappears.

While this may surprise you, I never tell local women that I’m a US citizen who had spent most of his life living in the US. Sure, in some instances, telling women that I have such an important document can indeed be an asset and immediately set me apart from the run-of-the-mill Ukrainian guy, but I want to play the run-of-the-mill Ukrainian guy as long as I can.

Unfortunately, the truth can stay hidden only for so long. The longer I know the girl, the sooner my past will get discovered, and the sooner she realizes that I’m not some run-of-the-mill regular “Ivan,” but a man who’s very, very different from most of the men out there. That’s a double-edged sword, but as far as I’m concerned, the cons of being perceived as a regular guy outweigh the pros of her knowing that I have a US passport. 

As soon she knows that I’m an American citizen, I can no longer be fully confident for the real reasons as to why she’s with me. 

10x

Essentially, who you are multiples 10x when you go abroad. If you’re a fun and interesting American guy, you will be 10x more fun and interesting when you abroad. That’s because you now possess the exotic factor. The reverse is true as well. If you’re a needy and awkward dude who doesn’t know how to groom and dress well, you will be 10x less attractive when you go abroad. That’s because women see that you’re needy and lame, and, coupled with the fact, that you’re a foreigner who presumably can’t get laid at home, lowers your value even further.

One of my friends here in Kiev is a socially awkward and easily-triggered friend. He gets pissed off at pretty much everything. He gets defensive at a drop of a hat. He was born in Russia but grew up in Australia. As men, we may not want to admit if a guy is handsome or not, but we sure can tell whether a man gets laid or not. And it’s evident this guy doesn’t get laid very often in Australia (or elsewhere). And, so, it becomes extremely evident why he’s in Ukraine; becomes he can’t get laid elsewhere.

Another friend of mine is an extremely confident and tough guy. He is a black belt in BJJ and loves to surf. He’s the kind of guy who has no problems getting laid—whether it’s in America, Brazil or some other country he happens to be passing through. His attractiveness level is 10x thanks to his exotic foreigner status.

I remember a conversation I had with a Ukrainian girl a few years ago. She was in his early 30s and was very focused on her work and career. I hated the fact that her work had such a high priority in her life. One day, during some argument, I told her straight up that I didn’t come to Ukraine to meet some career woman; that we have enough of those in America. Moments later I realized my error: I basically admitted that the only reason I was in Ukraine was for the women, and, as I’ve already explained, you can’t validate women any higher than that.

When you go abroad to date foreign women, everything about you is magnified. If you’re a stud back home but prefer women of a certain nationality, you will be an even more of a stud abroad. If you’re a dud back home, those insecurities and complexes that make you this way will easily become evident and you will have the stigma of someone who can’t get laid at home. It’s all about where you’re in life.

That’s not to say that I’m somehow discouraging you from dating foreign women. No, dating foreign women is great. Leaving America for the more greener and feminine lands has been one of the best things I’ve done in my life. It’s just things are a bit more complicated on the ground than the rosy picture everyone else is trying to make you believe.

Polish Women: What You Must Absolutely Know

While Poland has been the country I was fairly curious about, its more eastern and “rawer” neighbors (Ukraine and Russia) have always appealed to me more than any Central European country ever could.

That’s because as a guy who was born in Ukraine and who speaks fluent Russian, it made little sense for me to spend lots of time in countries where I didn’t have such a definitive advantage over other tourists.

Nevertheless, although Ukrainian women and Russian women are feminine and sexy, the constant materialism and transactional-based relationships has over time worn me down and made me crave something more Western. I’m not talking about something as drastic as American or British or anything, but just a tad bit more Western than what I was dealing with.

While I’ve only spent several weeks in Poland, one of my good friends, Ian, who’s from the UK, has spent a lot of time in Poland, ravaging courting the women in the best ways he knows.

The following article was submitted by my friend Ian, a British guy who has been living in Poland for the past several years.

Introduction

One of the big misconceptions about Poland is that it’s an Eastern European country along with Ukraine and Belarus. That’s what a lot of my mates in England think. The reality, however, is that Poland is really in Central Europe along with countries like Hungary and the Czech Republic. Once, you visit Poland, you will understand why.

First of all, Poland is a lot cleaner and better kept than neighboring Ukraine and Belarus. The cities are more organized and things work a lot better than in Eastern European countries such as Romania and even Bulgaria. Plus, unlike Ukraine and Belarus, Poland is in the EU, which says a lot about the country’s development. There’s a reason why lots of Ukrainians and Russians choose to move to Poland and praise life so much there.

Language

Not surprisingly, Polish people speak Polish, a Slavic language that’s very similar to Ukrainian and Russian (much more similar to the former than the latter). If you speak Russian (I speak a bit) or Ukrainian, you should at least be able to read the signs and make some of the words. Ukrainians who immigrate to Poland have said that it takes them at most 3 months to get conversational in the language.

I recommend learning Polish if you’re someone who’s serious with your intentions in the country, especially if you’re planning to setup a base and stay long-term. It would definitely make integration easier as well as improve your chances with the women. Having said, speaking Polish is by no means a requirement as most young Polish people speak some English (unlike in Ukraine and Russia).

The women

This “non-Eastern European status” naturally carries itself to the women. In my opinion, Polish women are almost Eastern European but not truly Eastern European. Although they’re Slavic through and through, they just don’t have the same ultra-feminine charm and sex appeal compared to Ukrainian or Russian women.

I would say that Polish women are almost as attractive as Ukrainian women. The reason I say this is because I view Ukrainian women as the standard when it comes to ultimate femininity and attractiveness. Although Polish women have nice faces, they lack a little of that “modelesque” look that’s very common with Ukrainian and Russian.

When you see a Ukrainian girl, the immediate reaction you have is, “wow, why isn’t this girl a model?” but when you see a Polish girl, your reaction is, “ok, she’s kinda cute.” Period. Without the model part. 

When it comes to personalities, this is where Polish women shine. In fact, this is my favorite part about Polish women. The overwhelming majority of Polish women that I met had very pleasant personalities. I’ve been in situations where the girl rejected me but did it in such a nice way that I went home and actually felt as though we shared a moment even if I was really rejected.

On the other hand, the girls with which I formed relationships were so pleasant that their positive and upbeat personalities always made up for any lack of physical attractiveness. That’s especially true when you compare them to Ukrainian women who look like models but their personalities leave something to be desired.

Do Polish women like foreigners?

One thing I always wondered about is whether Polish women like foreigners. During my travels, I learned that women either like foreigners or not. For instance, in the Balkans, in countries like Serbia and Montenegro, women tend to prefer their own men. In Ukraine and Russia, some women like foreigners but most don’t. In fact, the more east you go, the more it becomes apparent that dating and even marrying a foreigner is like an escape strategy for women who want more opportunities abroad. 

In Poland, however, things are different: Polish girls seem to prefer foreigners over their own men. It’s not uncommon to see hordes of Spanish and Italian guys all over the bars and clubs during the summer months and seeing women absolutely smitten by them. It’s also not uncommon to meet Polish women who’ve taken a good amount of trips to Madrid and Barcelona to have, enjoy life and, without a doubt, mess around with some Spanish guys as well.

While Polish women tend to prefer darker men, it seems they’re also not opposed to British, Scandinavian and American men as well. I have met a good number of English guys in Warsaw who were in serious relationships (some were even living) with beautiful Polish women.

Polish women vs. Ukrainian women

While I’ve compared the two types of women before, I want to dig deeper and compare them further in case anyone is having trouble deciding between the two countries.

Ukrainian girls are beautiful but most of them value transactional relationships. What I mean by that is if a Ukrainian does something for you and you’re happy she did it, she will ask for something in return. Maybe it’s a favor, maybe she wants you to buy her something, or maybe it’s something else. The result is a relationship based on the explicit exchange of value. 

Of course, that’s not the case with all women, mind you, but it’s what I noticed with Ukrainian women in Poland and Ukraine.

On the other hand, Polish women are just much easier to build genuine relationships with. There’s less of that modelesque sex appeal and more of that “genuineness vibe” that was severely lacking with Ukrainian women. It’s as though there’s a hidden formula at work: the hotter the woman, the more transaction is the relationship and the less attractive is her personality. 

Since Polish women aren’t as attractive as Ukrainian women, they mostly make it up with their more pleasant personalities.

Being more Western (geographically, if not in mentality), Polish women are also less overall materialistic than Ukrainian women. It’s like how Prague was a paradise back in the 2000s for men, but now it’s just another developed capital and your dollars aren’t going to do much for the women. It’s the exact thing in Poland. Unlike Ukraine and Russia, there’s no such as “mail-order brides” where you can meet a Polish girl on the Internet and bring her over to your rich country. Poland is in the EU, so they can, for example, visit and stay indefinitely in wealthy countries like the UK and Denmark without any problems.

Compare that to Ukraine and Russia where most women are still very materialistic and won’t hesitate to accept sponsorship opportunities for expensive travel to foreign destinations or just other, similar propositions. There’s a reason that most Western men choose to come to Ukraine and Russia instead of countries such as Poland or the Czech Republic.

Polish girls are very nurturing, something that I found lacking in Ukraine as a result of all this transactional and materialistic mindset. Out of all the majority of the Polish women I dated, I would definitely rely on many of them to nurse me back to health if needed.

Sex and relationships

When it comes to sex and relationships, things have been pretty much across the board. On one hand, Polish women have a fairly easygoing mentality that’s very similar to other Western women. I have had plenty of first dates that ended with her going back to my place. But I’ve also had plenty of dates with girls that were more relationship-minded and sleeping with them on the first date wasn’t an option.

The kind of Polish girl you meet, whether it’s for easy sex or relationships will depend on several factors. First of all, women in big cities tend to be more “open-minded” and “easy going.” That means sex happens faster, say, in Warsaw than in some little village near the Baltic sea. What kind of family and friends she has also played a big role. A girl from a broken family will most likely be sluttier in an effort to capture male attention compared with a girl from a happy family where all her psychological needs were properly met.

Hypothesizing aside, many of the Polish girls I met were indeed relationship material, so if that’s what you want, you will find quality women who’re looking to settle down and even have kids in Poland.

Where to meet Polish women

One of the best things about Poland and Polish women is how approachable they are. In Ukraine, women become very guarded when you approach them, but in Poland, it’s almost like women expect you to approach them. Most of my approaches were welcomed regardless if they were direct or indirect. I think that only in a few instances were the women not receptive to my approach or ignored me outright. For the most part, approaching Polish women has been an overwhelmingly positive experience.

My preferred approach method has been to approach women in cafes, especially when a girl was sitting alone and reading a book or working on her laptop. This has worked well for me all over Poland, especially in the big cities and the girl had moved from smaller cities to study/work there.

The nightlife

Compared to Ukraine, which has a reputation of subpar and even confusing nightlife, Polish nightlife is similar to other Central European cities in a sense that it’s very American style where people don’t just go out to hang out with the people they know, but actually looking to hook up with someone new.

Whereas in the Balkans and other more conservative regions, people go out in big groups and tend to stay in their groups, in Poland, it’s very common to see small groups of women partying and drinking, hoping to meet guys for some fun. 

Basically, if you don’t mind going out in a semi-Western nation (Central Europe is more or less Western, without that UK or American brashness), you’re not going to have much of a problem meeting women who are down for some fun—even the very same night.

Meeting women online

If you’re not comfortable with approaching women directly in the wild, there’s always the option of meeting women online. While a true and tested method is Tinder, there are plenty of other websites where you can meet higher quality women that are more suitable for relationships and family.

One such website is Cupid, one of the largest network of dating sites in the world with thousands of single women ready to meet a new man. Over on their Russian Cupid, you can find lots of Russian women, but also plenty of Polish women that are both sexy and high quality, whether you’re interested in a casual fling or a relationship and a family.

If you’re having trouble finding the woman of your dreams over at Russian Cupid, then I recommend you check out International Cupid as well that contains tons of high-quality Polish women that are waiting to meet their man.

Where to stay in Poland

When it comes to having a base in Poland, you essentially have two options: big cities or small cities. Although I’m more of a fan of bigger cities, I have to admit that bigger Polish cities are mostly overrun by foreigners—especially thirsty Spanish guys—so you will have more competition than if you go to one of the smaller cities that aren’t yet on the sex tourists’ country circuit.

The problem with smaller cities, however, is that women tend to be more traditional and aren’t totally keen on foreign men or fast sex (if that’s what you’re looking for). While in a city like Warsaw, women are used to be approached on the street, in some small village, a girl will be more confused when you approach her out of the blue because approaching random strangers isn’t very common.

If you have the time and opportunity, I would suggest you experiment with living in big and small cities and see which lifestyle and women suit you best. I know for many of my friends moving to some small Polish town in the middle of nowhere would be too much of a compromise to make even if that means having better luck with the local women.

When to come to Poland

Poland is in Central Europe (bordering Eastern Europe) and that means hot summers alternated by cold winters. It gets fairly cold in the winter with snow pretty much every winter. The flip side is that there are fewer tourists to compete for women. Around the end of April, temperatures start to rise and they stay that way until around the end of September. During that time, you will have more opportunities to meet women in the outdoor cafes or just casually walking around on the street.

I’ve personally stayed in Poland during the cold winter months as well as during the hot summer months, and I while I prefer warmer weather, I must admit there’s a certain charm in Poland during the quieter winter months. It allowed me to get more work done (I work remotely) and be the odd tourist in town when all the other tourists are scared of the snow.

Final thoughts

I’ve said all that I need to say, so I really hope that you’ve gotten plenty of value from my experience on the ground and now have a better idea of whether to make Poland your next destination for fun, wife- and relationship-seeking or outright debauchery.

While Polish women are sexy and attractive in their own right, they’re mostly overshadowed by their neighbors to the east, thus, a good tagline for Polish women might be something like this: Polish Women: When You Get Sick And Tired of Ukrainian Women And All The Games They Play.

Location Independence Can Be More Of A Curse Than A Blessing

It’s hard to remember when my life was better in terms of my living situation—OK, maybe back in Brazil when I lived in an amazing flat with a bunch of cool guys and partied all the time—but, aside from that, it’s pretty damn good here in Kiev right now.

I’m living in a sick apartment, no, not in one of those Soviet-era places with a rug on the wall, but in a nice, modern apartment in a very cool building a mere block away from Kiev’s main street, Kreshyatik. That main independence square where that big Maidan revolution happened? That’s just a mere few blocks away, and I wouldn’t want to be any closer anyway with all the mayhem.

Not to mention the numerous coffee shops, restaurants and all kinds of parks all around me.

It’s the best living situation that I’ve had in probably all of my location-independence life. Although I can become mobile in an instant, there’s nothing that’s motivating me to give up everything I have now and move somewhere else.

Honestly, even if I had all the money in the world, I wouldn’t live anywhere else in the city. My current living situation is that freaking ideal.

Of course, there’s the omnipresent little voice in my head that’s whispering sweet things in my ear and telling me how nice it would be to start all over again in a new city in some new country. Maybe pack up my suitcase and fly to rural Brazil, maybe grab my shit and fly to some small city in Mexico or Colombia, or maybe keep it simple and just catch a one hour flight north to Minsk, Belarus. In fact, one of my friends and my business lunch partner recently left everything here in Kiev after three years and moved to Minsk.

That voice that’s whispering to me to leave everything and move somewhere new becomes especially louder when you don’t have any close contacts, no roots and really nothing that’s making you stay. I don’t have family here in Kiev, no close friends, and combine that with my overall detachment to any physical location and even, for that matter, people, leaving any city becomes as easy as packing up a suitcase and heading to the airport. It’s amazing and sad at the same time.

However, the real benefit of starting a new life somewhere is psychological. When you leave a place, you leave behind all those failures, the rejections, the bullshit, the pain, the suffering all those negative emotions that might’ve tormented you and left a mark at some point in your life. There are positive emotions though, but nobody leaves a place when things are at their peak. That’s because when you arrive at a new destination, you start as a brand new man. Nobody knows who you are and where you’ve been, and what kind of bullshit you’ve experienced, so you can become pretty much anyone you want.

There’s also a certain level of confidence that comes with that. When I arrived in Ukraine four years ago, I was no longer just some regular guy. I had a past. A vibrant past that included 7+ year stint in Latin America, multi-year stints in European countries (Spain, Denmark, Lithuania) plus I knew how to speak five languages with varying degrees of fluency. That makes you special and automatically raises your value with the people you interact.

But there’s a limit how many times I’d want to start over regardless if it’s fast-paced traveling or multi-year sojourns in different places around the world. After a while that shit just gets old.

One of my friends is currently trying the whole digital nomad thing for the first time. He’s like 35, did the whole Silicon Valley thing, burned out and realized that, hey, life isn’t so bad outside the US after all. He spent the winter in the Canary Islands and will now spend a month in Ukraine before returning back to Spain for a couple of weeks, followed by several weeks in Asia and then, well, some other random country.

Just looking at his travel plans makes me nauseous. Yes, he checking out new places. Yes, he’s also building a successful online business (a SaaS app), but, man, I wouldn’t trade places with him and zig-zag around the planet if you put a gun to my head. Although he’s spending at least a month in some of the countries (e.g., Ukraine and Bulgaria), even a month is too little for my stable ass; those four weeks would fly in a blink of an eye and then you’re once again packing up that suitcase and heading to a new airport to do things all over again.

Not to mention making new friends that last few weeks, getting to know a gym that you’ll visit only several times and a few sex-only relationships with a woman or two if you’re lucky. No, thanks.

Last year, around this time, I flew into Kiev from the US, spent a week there and then caught a train to Dnipro, a 2nd tier city in Eastern Ukraine. After spending a month there, I extended my stay by another month and a half and then returned back to the capital in September. While I was mostly alone, I had the benefit of hanging out with a good friend who I’ve known from before, and who just happened to be working in that city. If that wasn’t the case, I would’ve been pretty much on my own trying to make connections before starting all over again once I made it back to Kiev.

The other option is to pack everything up and to start a new life in a new city. While rural Brazil is a stretch, one practical option is Minsk, a city where everyone speaks my language (Russian) and where I can immediately feel confident as someone, who, unlike most of the locals, has seen his share of the world and achieved various things in life.

But that euphoria of “the mysterious man with a past” wouldn’t last very long. Before long, I would just be another dude trying to make his way in a very Soviet country, one that even lacks the vibrancy of Ukraine and its capital, Kiev.

Moreover, my current problems wouldn’t just go away. They aren’t going to disappear into thin air. All the issues that I’ve experienced here in Ukraine (and elsewhere) would follow me to whatever was the final destination on that one-way ticket, whether it’s Minsk, rural Brazil or an island in Southern Thailand. If I had trouble building close contacts in Ukraine, you can bet your ass that I would experience the same problems in Belarus.

A year ago, I was bouncing around various apartments here in Kiev, never committing to one for more than a week or a month. The flexibility that came with it felt simply fantastic. How could I commit to any single apartment when I was so damn location-independent when I could just grab a train and head to any city I wanted and stay there for as long as I wanted before heading elsewhere.

Nowadays, I can’t even fathom not having some kind of a base, an apartment where I had a signed rental agreement that I know will still be there whenever I return from some quick or long trip abroad, one with my own bed waiting for me to rest on. It’s a radical feeling knowing that for the next year or so, I know exactly where I’ll be.

Thus, I find myself in an interesting predicament. I view people who criss-cross the world as some kind of maniacs and just knowing that I’ll need to spend a week here and a month and then another week there makes my head spin. 

Why the heck would I want to spend a week in Spain and another week in France and another week in Estonia? What’s the gain from spending so little time in these destinations? So, that I can brag to my friends that I ate tapas in Spain and drank wine in France? So that I can have more material to post on my Instagram? That kind of traveling holds no appeal to me any longer.

A scenario that I’ve always preferred is to have a base and combining it with numerous short vacations around the world. This past New Year’s, I took a trip to Lithuania for a week. Then, several months later, I flew to the Republic of Georgia for the weekend. Next month, I’m gearing for a trip to Barcelona for about a week to visit an old friend. Of course, all of these trips come with a round trip back to my lovely apartment in the heart of Kiev. At this stage of my life, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

The psychological benefits of starting a new life somewhere new are now outweighed by the reality that things might not even be better once the euphoria of being somewhere new dissolves. Who says that my life in Kiev would be somehow topped by my new life in Minsk? Who says that moving to rural Brazil would somehow solve all the problems that I’m experiencing by my present monotony here in Kiev?

About five years ago, I left Denmark and flew on a one-way ticket to Bulgaria. Instead of settling in the capital, I chose a smaller city on the Black Sea coast.

For the first couple of weeks, everything about my new city felt new and exotic. The leafy neighborhood was awesome. My huge apartment on the third floor of the house was awesome. Being in sunny Bulgaria after spending a couple of years in boring Denmark felt like a godsend.

But once the euphoria dissolved, I realized that there was really nothing special where I was and, with few things keeping me there, I boarded a bus to Istanbul, Turkey, where I continued my adventures.

Right now, I have very few things to complain about. The summer is here. The sun is shining. The birds are singing. The pool clubs and the beaches are calling my name. A week in Barcelona is very tempting, especially since that’s where I spent an entire summer before boarding a flight to Moldova and a train to Kiev, where I began a new life four years ago. That time I left Spain for good, but this time it would be a vacation with a roundtrip ticket back to my comfortable abode in Ukraine.

But, yet, the eternal call of the adventure hasn’t ceased at all whether it’s rural Brazil, rural Thailand or Vietnam or starting a brand new life in a developed megapolis a short flight away.

The Purpose Of Life Is To Maximize Your Own Happiness

When you get into the realm of philosophical ramblings on the purpose of life, you inevitably get bombarded by different opinions, thoughts, and viewpoints. Some people say that it’s important to sacrifice short term gratification for a long-term vision. Other people say that you should live today like it’s your last today. Many others subscribe to a thousand other ideas backed up by famous quotes or personal experience.

In my opinion, it’s all very simple. The purpose of life is to maximize your own happiness. Period. Full Stop. That’s it.

Maximizing your own happiness means doing things that make you happy even if that will upset someone else or put you on the wrong side of the status quo.

For example, when I was living in America and making over $150k/year in the Silicon Valley, people thought I was completely nuts to drop everything and start a new life in Brazil. It didn’t make any sense. It defied the laws of gravity.

My family was especially confused. Why in the world would I give up a perfectly stable and high-paying job—a job that others would die for—in order to go live abroad and survive on just a fraction of that salary.

But, in my gut that’s what I wanted to do. I knew that traveling and living abroad would make me much happier than working in some cubicle in a barren land replete with parking lots and fast food joints called Silicon Valley.

Even if I was making an amazing salary, had two fast cars, lived in the center of the city in a great apartment.

And, sure, I certainly made my family and friends happy by staying put and having a stable job, but I wasn’t happy.

That’s why as far as I’m concerned, my happiness is more important to me than the happiness of others. I prioritize my happiness over everything else.

After living in Brazil for a bit over two years, many of my good friends left the country and things just weren’t the same as they were before. I had this gut feeling that it was time to go. And, so, I packed up and went to Europe where I met new people and continued to experience new things that I didn’t before.

Eventually, I made it to Ukraine, where, like a baby who’s touching ocean water for the first time, I kept dipping my toes into the water until I got comfortable enough to swim. I made several trips to Ukraine, each one longer the previous, until in 2015, when I decided to more or less make it a base of some sorts.

I was born in Ukraine, and when my family got wind of the fact that I’m considering living in some backward third-world country, they couldn’t believe it. They told me that the only reason we left is because I could have a shot of a better life abroad, instead of rotting in what was the collapsing Soviet Union. But, yet, having an absolutely amazing time in a country that I deserted more than twenty years previously. Out of all the countries that I visited and lived in, Ukraine quickly became my country of choice to live permanently in.

Happiness is a gut feeling. Sometimes you can break it down into components and analyze it logically. But, at its heart, it’s a piece of emotion. You’re either happy or you’re not.

Lately, I discovered an interesting phenomena about happiness: you can be happy at the expense of someone else and vice versa. What I mean by that is when I decided to dump my SV job and move to Brazil, I became happy but my family wasn’t. When I decided to move to Ukraine, I became happy but my family wasn’t. When I worked in SV, my family was happy, but I wasn’t.

This applies to interpersonal relationships as well. Often times, we try to please the other person at the expense of our own happiness. Sure, it’s nice for both parties to be happy to some extent, but usually someone is happier at the expense of someone else. There are compromises.

In fact, relationships are almost never 50/50. There’s always someone that has the upper hand, there’s always someone who needs the other person the most, with the other person needing the other person the least. There are moments in these relationships where one person wants something, while the other person doesn’t necessarily feel it’s something they should do, but they do it anyway. It’s in such cases, it’s best to prioritize your own happiness. As they say, a happy man is a happy woman.

When you prioritize your own happiness at the expense of everything else, you automatically become a little more selfish. That’s good. It’s good to put yourself first. It’s good to do things that make you happy. It’s good to prioritize your own happiness over everything else.

I used to believe that being nice and helping people even at your own expense is important. But then I realized that the world is inherently selfish. All of the successful people that I’ve met in my life—the super successful hustlers who make a ton of money—are inherently selfish. They put their needs first. They prioritize their happiness over everything else.

For a long time, being selfish stroke me as unnatural and not right. Selfish people are messed up in the head, I used to think. Why the hell would I want to be selfish when putting others first and helping them made me feel so good, but then a strange occurrence changed the way I look at the world.

It happened last year during springtime. I was in NYC, staying with my mom for a couple of weeks. It was Saturday and my mom asked me to go with her to my sister’s house, a 45 minute subway right away. While I’m fairly close with my sister, on that particular day, I wasn’t in a particular good mood and didn’t feel like making the long trek across NYC. So, I refused to go.

Of course, my mom pleaded me to go, saying that it’s been a while since I’ve seen my sister, but I wasn’t feeling it, and I knew that if I would’ve gone, I wouldn’t have been talkative and probably acted pissed off at the world.

What was the point of me doing something for someone if that meant they wouldn’t get my entire 100% happy self?

The best course of action would’ve been to stay home that day instead of giving off this toxicity of feeling pissed off at others.

That’s when I realized it’s crucial to take care of yourself first; you absolutely must put yourself first before you even try to satisfy the needs of others. It’s simply counterproductive to view it any other way; when you prioritize the happiness of others over yourself, you just end up with two unhappy parties.

This pattern has repeated itself in all kinds of different situations. For example, let’s say I would’ve accepted my family’s position and remained in New York instead of chasing to move to Brazil or Ukraine (where I’m now). The only people I would be making happy would be them. On the other hand, I would be absolutely miserable. And if I were miserable, then my attitude to them would probably be passive aggressive or just mildly aggressive. Compare that to nothing but bliss and happiness that I’m experiencing as I’m living one heck of a life in Kiev, Ukraine.

That’s because when it came to choosing a place to live, I chose myself over everyone else. I said no to New York. I said no to San Francisco. I said no to America. Instead, I chose a place that I wanted to live in and then moved on when living there no longer made sense.

I’ve also applied the same approach to relationships. During any relationship, I try to prioritize my own happiness above all. It doesn’t matter if the relationship is romantic, business or just with a good friend. If I can’t prioritize my own happiness and still enjoy a healthy relationship, then that relationship is all but worthless to me.

While happiness isn’t the most important thing in the world, sacrificing your own happiness for someone else’s is a crucial mistake that you should avoid at all costs.

My Life Has Peaked In Kiev, Ukraine

While feels like only yesterday, it has been almost 4 years since I took the 15-hour train from Kishinev, Moldova to Kiev, Ukraine. Even though I have briefly visited Kiev (and Ukraine) multiple times before that, the summer of 2015 marked the first time that I actually began to gradually make Kiev (and Ukraine) my permanent base to live in foreseeable future.

After arriving in Kiev’s main train station, I rented a temporary apartment on Airbnb for a month and, soon after that, found a more permanent pad in the center of the city. For the first time in almost ten years, I was paying gas, water and electricity bills!

Earlier this year, I moved to a new apartment in the dead center of the capital. It’s by far one of the best apartments I’ve lived anywhere in Eastern Europe. It’s newly remodeled as well as furnished with all the nice furniture that one would ever want. There’s also a cool balcony that’s facing a very picturesque street.

As crazy as it sounds, signing a contract on an apartment is a pretty big deal for me. The reason is because I was afraid of commitment; previously, I had a sweet arrangement where I lived in a furnished place and paid as I went, several times a month. Then, if I ever wanted to leave, I didn’t need to provide advanced notice or any of that.

Although I have pretty much cut down all kinds of moving around, I still enjoyed the freedom last year when I moved to a different Ukrainian city for several months. I simply gave up my Ukrainian apartment in Kiev and rented another one as soon as I’d arrived in the new city. This is something I couldn’t have done if I had a committed apartment where I was paying rent every single month and couldn’t simple get out of that.

Earlier this month, one of my friends decided to move out of Kiev and start a new life in Minsk. He’s a bit younger than me. In fact, what he has done is something that I might’ve done in my earlier years. Although I spent over two years in Brazil—a relatively long time—that was because I got lucky and stumbled on a fantastic living situation: an amazing pad in Ipanema, near the beach with 3 awesome roommates who taught me more about life than I’ve ever learned with my politically-correct California friends. If I’d ever gotten bored of living in Rio, I was always ready to move to another Brazilian city and try my luck there.

And, sure, while Kiev is super ideal, there’s always the temptation of uprooting myself and starting a new life somewhere else. I can see that happening after an important relationship breaks down, or I reach some other breaking point, or the temptation of living somewhere new grows on me. There’s just something magical about having a fresh start somewhere new.

I recently realized that, in order for me, to uproot myself and move elsewhere permanently, the gain of living in a new city must be higher than the pain of uprooting yourself and moving.

Right now, that doesn’t hold true: the upside of moving somewhere new just isn’t high enough over staying put exactly where I’m.

There are several things responsible for that.

1) Kiev is a fantastic city.

Let’s first give credit where credit is due. For a “third world” Eastern European city, Kiev is a pretty damn cool city. Of course, I say that as I’m sitting in my comfortable apartment in the best damn part of the city, surrounded by beautiful historical buildings and nicely dressed people, but even so, Kiev is far from some of the other Eastern European capitals I visited such as Bucharest and Sofia that are truly rundown and aren’t very livable.

The size of the city is perfect, too. It’s neither too big nor too small, making it ideal for doing different things in different parts of the city, depending on your mood and taste.

2) As you become older, integration into new cultures becomes more difficult.

When I talk about moving to a new place, I naturally think about integrating into the new society. I’m referring to things like learning the culture, speaking the language, and being accepted into society by the locals.

All of that is a lot easier when you’re 25 than when you’re, say, 35 or older. It’s one thing to move to Brazil when you’re 28 and meet all kinds of young people who are eager to make new connections, but quite another to do so when you’re 38 or 48. Of course, it’s still doable, but I can’t imagine moving to Brazil when I’m 48 or something. My expectations would need to be completely different.

That also applies to meeting women—since for many single men meeting women is the number one reason for moving abroad—as I could see having meeting a great Brazilian girlfriend, say for a serious relationship when I’m 28, but would be a completely different story if I was 48.

Furthermore, it’s a lot easier to make local friends when you’re younger than older.

3) You become more conservative with your options.

After visiting Ukraine like 7 times since 2011, I realized that the reason this country kept drawing me in so much wasn’t so much of the city (that was a huge bonus), but because it’s simply where I was born and the language that I speak.

When I was younger, I dreamed about starting a new life in a bunch of different countries, but at this point of my life, there’s no freaking way I would ever get on some plane and move to Argentina, Mexico or Bali. Maybe for a month or two, but nothing more permanent than that.

At this point of my life, I value comfort over adventure and living in a country where I speak the local language and understand the local culture is much more important to me than the novelty of experiencing something new.

Even moving to a city like Moscow or Minsk where I can obviously get by with my Russian feels like an alien idea because of the cultural differences between where I feel comfortable (Kiev, Ukraine) and those other cities. Although I don’t mind visiting a city like Minsk to see what it’s like.

4) It’s hard to imagine things will be better elsewhere.

Every country where I’ve been has had its pros and cons. Brazil had awesome weather, but crime (and the looming risk of crime) plus the slow pace of life wears you down over time. The USA is where you can make a lot of money very quickly, but the culture sucks. Vilnius, Lithuania, has a great quality of life and easy living, but it’s too small and the people are colder than I prefer.

The one big downside of living Kiev (and Eastern Europe as a whole) is the shitty and cold weather for like 6 months out of the year, but if you’re willing to put up with that, the beautiful spring and summers make it all worth it. (Yeah, I know, I could live in Thailand for six months, but then I wouldn’t appreciate the warm Eastern European weather.)

They say that eventually, everyone returns back home, wherever that may be. To me, home isn’t Ukraine, but New York City where my family lives. Heck, I even feel more comfortable speaking in American English than Russian, where I have a slight accent (my Ukrainian sucks). This typically happens when one’s parents age, and the novelty of even living somewhere other than your home—never mind traveling around—becomes nonexistent.

While I could certainly see that happening because I doubt I will retire or die of old age in Ukraine, returning back to the US is something I have pretty much zero intention of doing anytime soon—if ever.

South African Women: The Ultimate Guide To Africa’s Sexiest Women

South Africa is the most European country in Africa. I’ve experienced this country, especially Cape Town, both as a nice guy, and as a confident guy capable of walking up to any girl, getting her number, or taking her home. Thus, upfront I can tell you that if you don’t make the first move with women, you won’t be getting any action in South Africa.

The following is a guest post from Guy Séduire from Nice Guy Seduction.

The Women

Demographics

South Africa’s population consists of more or less 81% blacks, 9% Colored, 8% White, and 2% Indian/Asian. Within these demographics, there is a wide range of personality types.

The more north you travel within South Africa, the more you are moving into Africa, and the less European vibes you feel (as you do in Cape Town). Plus, you’ll notice more tropical fruit, darker skin colors, and wilder animals at the nature reserves. And, less sexual inhibitions in the women.

Johannesburg and Pretoria are a large metropolis. It’s the place to live if you want to make more money in your career, but otherwise, it’s not touristic. Travelers would go there as a starting point to African safaris.

In these large business cities, you can imagine there are often bored horny women. Moreover, if you check out the coastal city, Durban, there will be plenty of Indian girls to date. However, the South (especially Cape Town) is much more touristic. Thus, Capetonian guys enjoy dating hot tourist girls from all over the world, especially during the Summer.

Language info

There are 11 official languages, of which 2 is of European origin (English and Afrikaans). You’ll easily get by with only speaking English. Bonus languages that can help are Dutch or Flemish. The 9 other African languages are not useful outside of South Africa.

Dating Culture

The black girls are known for being somewhat more promiscuous and forward sexually than the white girls. Colored girls are in-between black and white women. First date sex is more likely with black and colored women than with white women. Still, if a white girl is into you, on some first dates you will go all the way.

Especially if she’s into smoking marijuana, drinking, or already a parent (thus with a lot of sexual experience). Yet, white girls are often still very marriage minded – with these ones don’t expect first date sex. Girls would sometimes marry when they’re 24 (or earlier), after finishing a university degree. Then get pregnant, and that’s that.

Compared to the girls of Europe and North America, South African white girls are a little more prudish and less overtly sexual (partly because it’s a more dangerous country). Plus, open relationships are sometimes frowned upon. Yet, the “good girls” leave their family homes after school, start drinking, smoking cigs and marijuana. Of course, sexual experimentation is a natural outflow of this.

My Preference

I’ve been with an exotic French-speaking Mauritius girl in South Africa. She had a cute Western face. I didn’t mind her darker skin tone. On the other hand, black girls have more African faces. Although here and there, e.g. in Ethiopian restaurants, you’ll notice that in some African countries up north the girls also have more Western faces.

Furthermore, I remember once going out with a girl with one colored and one white parent. She was cute, young, and uninhibited. However, in South Africa, my preference 95% of the time, is dating white girls. Why? Because there isn’t cultural or political conflict with these girls. And since they look the same as me, I find them the most attractive (Don’t be the asshole who judges my preference).

Appearance

The girls in South Africa tend to be above average tall, but not as tall as e.g. in the Netherlands. Furthermore, obesity is often a problem – especially as girls get older. There isn’t as much a health-aware culture. Young girls at varsity tend to stay in shape better. They do sports like Netball or field hockey and stay above-average fit.

Unfortunately, for women its less safe to walk outside, to go for a run any time of the day, or go cycling, than in the First world. This contributes to female weight problems. Thus there are plenty of fitness clubs and e.g. CrossFit gyms where attractive girls train.

Hookup Culture?

Of course, there’s hookup culture in South Africa, like in the rest of the West. The girls with the virtuous appearance would also get down with the right guy – and you could be that guy. Although, not always on the first date – sometimes only on the second or third date.

Try to figure out what kinda girl it is, e.g. if its a very religious white girl, don’t expect a first date hookup. But, with black and colored girls, my wing tells me even if they say they are religious, they’ll still have sex on the first date.

According to him, black girls can be very blasé and open after casual sex. Whether you want a relationship or not, it’s all good with them – no pressure. Colored girls differ from girl to girl – Some want a relationship, and some don’t. Some are crazy, some are smart, and some are adventurous. He prefers colored girls to black girls. He calls them more vibrant, interesting and crazy in a positive way. Plus, he feels both colored and black girls can have very attractive and firm bodies.

If you want to date black girls, South Africa can be a paradise. Black hired guns will flirt with you during the daytime if you’re a decent-looking foreigner – at the cash registers of supermarkets, or at takeaway joints (wherever they can).

Meeting South African women during the day

You see fewer hot girls walking outside by day because it’s a dangerous country. Thus, you basically have to go to the safer shopping malls to meet women. The culture is such that no-one is going to make a scene if you start a friendly conversation with a stranger in a shopping mall. During weekends, the “organic” food markets are usually also a good place to meet attractive women.

In the day, you’ll meet a few girls who have never been cold approached. Yet, if you’re a smooth guy, you could potentially get any girl’s number, depending on if you’re the right look and personality for her. Girls will sometimes compliment you for your guts to approach. Even if she rejects you when she is e.g. in a relationship.

The country is surrounded by beaches, thus expect good beach game in the summer.

Maybe it’s the warm weather and culture, but South Africans are generally friendly people. Girls tend to be feminine, cute and warm-blooded. Especially if the girl is more or less your social class or type. But you’ll get a few cold rejections as well.

Meeting South African Women at night

At night, there are once again safety concerns. You have to win the girl’s trust to take her home. Partying with normal-looking friends will definitely help to show that you’re a cool guy with social proof. Instead of appearing like the loner in the club – be social. Yet, if you’re gaming solo, go out anyway and make new friends wherever you’re partying.

The nightlife clubbing scene is not huge. In fact, it’s relatively small if you’re looking for upmarket bars. The bustling nightlife ranges from high-end “European” clubs to African “ghetto style” bars. In South Africa’s nightlife, you’ll also meet foreign African girls from neighboring countries like Botswana, Mozambique, Zimbabwe, Namibia, or even islands like Mauritius.

At the end of the night, when the clubs close, you may go home with a girl after e.g. twenty minutes if she’s very into you. But otherwise, take your time dancing and getting to know her – then go home together later that night.

While out clubbing you’ll find eager girls who’d do one night stands. Of course, not all girls would, but it goes with the territory. Amidst smoking, drinking, and raunchy dancing – sex wouldn’t be outside of those girl’s comfort zones. But I can’t guarantee that the girl will go all the way on the first night. Some will, some won’t.

In the winter, night game is quieter. It rains, it’s cold, and many prefer to stay indoors. This is great cuddling weather for online dating though.

Meeting South African women online

Tinder is the most popular dating app in South Africa. Plus, Bumble is decent in Cape Town. Desktop-based apps like Zoosk used to be more popular.

With online dating, it can sometimes happen that a girl will come directly to your place. You have to ask and find out. Worst case is she’ll tell you to meet in public first for a drink. Moreover, you could suggest the girl drive to your neighborhood, instead of going to her. Especially since you probably won’t have a car if you’re a tourist.

Girls often, but not always, stop short of having sex. For example, she’ll jerk you off, or potentially even go down on you, but penetrative sex is something a lot of South African white girls love to postpone beyond the first date. You may ask why… Its a local cultural thing due to fear of being slut-shamed. Plus, it’s not seen as sex. Thus, it’s something the girl can do with many guys, without the social shaming repercussions if someone found out she had penetrative sex. Other South African races e.g. Colored, Indian and Black girls care less about this and will go all the way on the first date.

Find central accommodation in the cities (e.g. Cape Town), as it’ll give you better logistics. Thus, it’s easier to organize a date or hookup. This is also helpful with night game.

Red Flags

  • South Africa can be a dangerous place, thus be very safety aware like the locals, and follow necessary precautions.
  • Be careful of girls who may try to extort money from you after sex (e.g. she can secretly be a prostitute). Make sure her intentions are purely romantic (and not financial). Go for the normal educated girls instead.
  • According to my wing who dates a lot of black girls, some of them are gold diggers. Thus he makes sure, before they meet, that she will pay her own share of the bill. However, he mentions that if the girl is a student, he’s willing to pay the full bill.
  • Stay away if the girl wants you to visit her in a dangerous neighborhood. Similarly, low-class girls could also rob you in your own house.
  • Be extra wary of girls who would have sex without a condom on the first date. In a first world country, you wouldn’t necessarily think as much of this, but in Africa, it’s a red flag.
  • On online dating apps, local syndicates create fake profiles. Then, they try to fool you into sending them nude selfies, for example, by first sending you a fake naked photo of the girl you “matched” with. If you fall for this scam, you’ll be coerced afterward to send them money. Otherwise, they’ll send your naked photos to your family or upload them to websites.

Conclusion

In South Africa, if you know where to look, you’ll meet some of the hottest girls in the world. Still, it’s harder than in the first world where you can simply leave your house and see hot girls everywhere. There is less density of hot women in SA. However, many girls are still very feminine (thus not as poisoned by feminism). It’s a relatively friendly country, with sunshine, sea, and mountains. If you approach in a decent and calibrated way, the girls are not likely to bite you.

South African women are not the most difficult in the world. But, seduction can be harder than e.g. Europe, since many good-looking girls are less conditioned to have sex on the first date. Thus, if you want to go for the hottest girls, bring your best game along.

Latin American Cupid Review: Should You Join?

There are two ways to meet Latin American women: offline and online. I won’t deny that meeting women in the wild is both exciting and rewarding. I mean, what’s more rewarding than seeing a cute girl, approaching her, getting her number or going on a date with her then and there?

But, you’re not here because you want to meet women in person. Chances are you’re more interested in meeting online. 

And why not? 

Meeting Latin American women online comes with many great advantages. First, there’s no risk of direct rejection. Second, you can “approach” lots of different women at once simply by contacting them and seeing if they’re interested. 

Finally—and this is probably the best reason for online dating—you can do it from anywhere in the world. That means you don’t need to be physically in the same country as the girl to communicate and build attraction with her. That’s just plain awesome.

Moreover, even if you love meeting women in person, online dating should be part of your arsenal. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with doing both.

OK, now that I’ve got your appetite wet, you have two main options when it comes to online dating: Tinder and Latin American Cupid. Everyone knows Tinder, you know that app where you swipe right or left, depending on whether you like the person or not, so I won’t talk about it much here. 

I will say one thing about Tinder. Unfortunately, most of the women you meet on there just aren’t suitable for long-term or serious relationships. Furthermore, the quality and beauty of the women you meet on there leave a lot to be desired. 

Actually, the best way to meet women in Latin America is via a site called Latin American Cupid. Latin American Cupid is part of the portfolio of niche sites that cover meeting women pretty much anywhere in the world. Regardless where you are in the world and what kind of women you want to date, there will be a specific community where you can meet the kind of girl you’re looking for.

For instance, here’s a quick list of Latin American niche sites:

Brazil – Brazilian Cupid (learn more or read our review)

Colombia – Colombian Cupid (learn more or read our review)

Mexico – Mexican Cupid (learn more)

For all the other countries, the solid choice is to use Latin American Cupid where you can meet women from every nook and cranny of Latin America, from Argentina to Venezuela.

When it comes to the actual way of communicating and setting up dates, it helps to have a strategy in place.

Here’s a good strategy to use:

1) Before you leave your home country, contact 10-15 women with a simple “Hello” or “Hola.” The goal should be to determine their interest and see if they would like to meetup at some point. You can also follow up with, “Do you speak English?” if your Spanish is weak.

2) Not all the women will respond right away, and many women won’t be interested at all, so don’t worry about them. However, with those that respond, chat with them over the course of few days, even a week to build some rapport and comfort. After building comfort, ask for their number so you can add them to a separate instant messaging app such as WhatsApp that’s used by Latin Americans all over.

3) Once you’ve added her to WhatsApp, continue chatting with her and building comfort. The fact that she gave you her number so you can add her is a good sign and means that she’s more seriously interested in meeting you and continuing chatting with her over a woman who doesn’t care.

4) As soon as you know when you’ll be visiting the country or when you’ve purchased the tickets, let her know. Once you’re in the country, contact her and setup a date. I recommend something simple like going for a coffee so the two of you can chat and get to know each other. Don’t set a bad precedent by taking her to an expensive restaurant.

More tips and advice:

The standard “3 date” rule applies all over Latin America. If you went out with her to 3 separate dates and still haven’t gotten laid, then there’s a good chance you won’t get laid on the fourth and future dates. Better cut her lose and look for a new girl: there are lots of them out there.

Latin American women can be manipulative and conniving. Avoid women who ask for money, regardless if it’s for something small such as little gifts. While it’s OK to help her with a cab ride every now and then, don’t make it a habit because when she sees you giving her money easily, she’ll view it as a weakness and take advantage of you further. Of course, paying for dinners and dates is pretty much the norm.

Don’t worry about a random rejection here and there, either when the women aren’t responding to your messages or if you do meet a girl but she doesn’t follow through on next several dates.

Ultimately, it’s all one big numbers game. That’s just how it is. The way it works is that you must message a certain number women to get started. Some of those women will respond. In turn, some of those women will continue chatting with you. And, in turn, some of those women will end up going on a real date with you and seeing you in person.

The good news is that sooner or later, you will eventually find women who are interested in you as man and who would love to go on a date with you.

Closing thoughts

While you can certainly meet lots of great women in person by approaching them on the street, the restaurants, the coffee shops, the bars and clubs, online dating should definitely be part of your dating arsenal. It’s simply silly not to try it.

Click here to sign up and begin meeting Latin American women.

The Hunt For А High Quality Ukrainian Woman

I have fucked a lot of women here in Ukraine. Lots and lots. Much more than in all of Latin America combined. On some weeks, I went on a new date every single day, on some days, I even had multiple dates. As a result of so much practice, I learned to quickly figure out which women were worth pursuing and which weren’t. That enabled me to save time by rejecting women in the first few minutes of meeting them.

I easily built a rotation of women where I had anywhere from 3-4 women coming to my house during various days of the week for some quality R&R. Many of them even cooked for me and brought their own wine. The reason it usually topped at four women was because having more per week was unsustainable; I still reserved other days for dates with new prospects and, of course, the mandatory work nights since I’m the most productive when the sun goes down.

Many of these women ranged from downright gorgeous to average, to everywhere in between. A noticeable amount of them were of such high caliber that I simply couldn’t fathom having a shot at them had I met them in a place like NYC or London where the competition would be so much fiercer, but I digress.

Most of the women were fine trading sex for sex, but a few hinted at something more. One of the girls in my rotation wanted me to go with her on a trip to a historical Ukrainian city. Another one hinted about driving up to Belarus. Yet, another one invited me to Hungary for a few days. 

For the most part, I declined, preferring to use them for sex only, but a few times I took various trips with select women to various places. 

Out of all the women that I slept with, I can count on only one hand with how many of those women I tried to build something more serious. All of those relationships failed, some spectacularly more than others, but failed miserably.

One of the girls was sexy and attractive, but also very demanding with a feeling of entitlement. It took a couple of years of constant breaking up and getting back together to realize that the person I’m dealing with is seriously toxic and nothing good could ever come out of that relationship. Another girl was slightly better, but the result was the same. No matter how much I tried to make things work between us (silly me), she refused to fully submit to me and instead preferred to do things her own way, annoying me in the process. The other attempts were no better, and I quickly ghosted these women after few months after realizing that I’m just wasting my time.

Having casual sex with women with no strings attached is easy, building relationships and living with women is much, much harder. (In fact, having lived with several women for few years, I only recommend doing so when you’re 100% into the girl and vice versa, not because of guaranteed sex and things like that. In many cases, living with a woman limits a man and puts him at a steep disadvantage.)

And it’s when you try to build a relationship with a woman that the words “quality” and “woman” form an important part of your vocabulary and thought process. In fact, for the past several months, I’ve been spending lots of time obsessing over what a quality woman truly is.

The quality woman

In 2011, I met my future serious girlfriend in a bar in Copenhagen. She was 21 and I was 31. A year later, we moved in together and ended up living for about 2-3 years both in Denmark and Lithuania (her native country). She was the kind of girl that I felt absolutely comfortable with. One of the hallmarks of our relationship is when I came back home and felt that all my worries immediately disappear. It was all thanks to her “nurturing” personality. 

She was also one of the few girls in my life that I truly loved, even unconditionally and trusted her 100%, something I can’t say was even remotely the case with the women I’ve been seeing recently.

(In retrospect, I probably should’ve married her.)

At that time, I didn’t even know she was a “quality woman.” She was simply someone with whom I enjoyed spending time with and didn’t hesitate to do nice things for. There was not a single red flag ever. The reason I didn’t attach that label to her was because I didn’t date anyone else and, so, didn’t have much of a point of reference. I just happened to be with someone whom I enjoyed spending time with.

In Ukraine, all of that changed. I began dating and sleeping with so many women that I couldn’t help but to obsess about the characteristics of what makes a woman quality simply because the women I was dating lacked those qualities in one way or another.

Every single woman I dated had a particular flaw that made her a bad fit for a relationship. It was almost like every single one was perfect for random sex but completely unsuitable for an exclusive relationship in a traditional patriarchal sense. Everything that made them fun to be around and enjoy made them poor options when it came to operating as a unit and things like pair bonding.

But, yet, even with all of those hints, I still couldn’t pinpoint what exactly makes for a quality woman. What did this “quality woman” have that the women I was dating didn’t?

A trip to Western Ukraine

It wasn’t until I took a train from the capital, Kiev, to Western Ukraine that I got my first hint of a quality Ukrainian woman. My girl and I were sharing a sleeping cabin with another young couple, probably in their 20s or early 30s. The guy was your regular guy, but the girl was different. Something was different about her from pretty much all the other girls I dated.

First, she was calm and relaxed. She didn’t exhibit the behavior of someone who was seeking attention. She was also not wearing any makeup and her nails weren’t painted. Second, she was reading a book, something that I didn’t notice any of the girls I had been dating ever do. There was also a way that she looked at her boyfriend or husband, with a certain admiration and respect in her eyes, instead of validation or hunger for attention that was much more common of the women I’ve dated.

In fact, the entire time, she may have looked at me only once, preferring to calmly read her book or look fondly at her man. 

Although I didn’t know her personally, this seemed like a girl who was emotionally stable and predictable. Later, I noticed a ring on her finger proving that she was indeed married to her man.

After spending a week exploring Western Ukraine, we boarded a train back to Kiev. And, as fate would have it, we were sitting next to another couple, a young German couple this time. Once again, the girl was quiet, respectful, relaxed, and looking at her man in a respectful and loving way. Seeing another “quality” girl on our way back must’ve been a sign that I need to be more choosy of my women.

I couldn’t put my finger on it, but both of these women just shouted “quality” and not “attention whore.” Physically speaking, they weren’t as attractive as the majority of the girls I’ve been dating in Kiev (or even as attractive as the girl I was with), but they both had this “nurturing” personality traits that immediately wanted me to turn these women into mothers of my future children. My first reaction wasn’t to have wild sex with them but to actually build a quality relationship and create some children in the process.

The quality wife

When modern men say that they can’t find a quality wife, my response is that they’re looking in all the wrong places. I have seen many of these quality wives in Western Ukraine. One of the biggest differences in Western Ukraine as compared to Kiev was the number of families that I’ve seen around walking and about the city. Many of these parents were very young. I would see a young couple enter a restaurant, probably in their early 30s, and then be followed by a couple of children who were maybe 5-7 years old. Often times, I would notice a single woman shopping and think to myself that she seems like a nice woman to build a family with only to see her joined by her husband and one or two kids a few minutes later.

Apparently, I wasn’t the only one who realized that.

During the day we visited the water parks with hot thermal baths that are supposed to be good and rejuvenating for you. It was mostly filled with older couples and families, but there were young couples as well. And, once again, the women followed their men around loyally, helped them out, stood next to them and longly waited for them to return whenever they temporarily walked off to do something outside.

I will say that the women I’ve seen that these men were with weren’t nearly as hot or gorgeous as the women that I’ve dated in Kiev, but, man, did they seem loyal to their men. If you ask me, I would rather be with a loyal woman who’s a 7 or 8 (on a 1-10 scale) than some 9 or 10 that will cheat on me at the drop of a hat. It’s all about priorities. 

After all, like the old adage goes: there are two kinds of women, those you fuck and those you marry. Often times, the two types differ quite dramatically. 

She’s either a slut or she isn’t

One of my friends used to say that a girl is either a slut or she isn’t. For a long time, I couldn’t quite agree with this and thought that things aren’t exactly as a black and white and that there’s some middle ground, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized the trueness of this statement. Indeed, a girl is either a slut or she isn’t.

One of the hallmarks of a slut is that she’s a woman you just want to fuck right then and there. You get a raging hardon just by looking at her. You want to tear off her clothes and own her soul right there. You imagine how great she’ll be in bed. Typically, it’s because she has an instant sexual vibe and emits this sexual energy that draws in preselected men who’ve already fucked a good share of sluts. On the other hand, a girl who’s wholesome, nice and nurturing doesn’t emit this sexual energy and, is thus, much less likely to cheat and is more suitable for a more serious and committed relationship.

Not all women are sluts, just like not all men are alpha males who use women for sex and discard them. As my other friend likes to say, “There are levels to this shit.” Of course, there’s this notion that every girl would fuck an alpha male like Leonardo DiCaprio if she had a chance, but where the fuck would my future wife from some small Ukrainian village find a Leonardo to fuck, especially if she’s super nurturing and doesn’t give off a strong sexual vibe?

Yes, there are levels to this shit. Not all women are the same. Not all women are sluts. Not all women are forever playing in the sexual marketplace because their vagina tingles at the sight of the ever-so-better alpha male. Some women are actually from semi-decent families with semi-decent father figures who’ve actually spent time with their daughters and taught them a think or two about men. They don’t have problems experiencing more genuine love (whatever that means) instead of validation and attention whoring.

Yesterday, I met up with a good friend for a game of billiards. Much like I am, he’s player and a tinder addict who’s constantly juggling several women at once. I haven’t seen him for a week or two and had already lost track of the women he’s dating. (He surprised me by admitting to me that he’s been seeing a nice girl for more than a week.)

We began talking about women. And, then, all of a sudden it hit me. The reason we can’t figure out who’s a quality girl and who isn’t is because every girl I’ve dated and he has dated is a slut. Every single one of them. Every single girl that I’ve dated in Ukraine was a slut. All of them. The overwhelming majority of the women he dated were sluts. The problem is that we’re looking in all the wrong places and the quality women like the two women I’ve seen on the trains just aren’t accessible to us. 

Many of these quality women are snapped up young. It’s not uncommon for men to marry women in their early 20s. At that age, she would typically have zero to very little sexual experience. At that age, she’s still lively and vibrant and, unlike, a 30+-year-old woman, she isn’t jaded with multiple failures and endless pump and dump relationships.

On the other hand, the women I’m dating are in their late 20s or early 30s and are still riding the cock carousel for one reason or another. They’re nowhere near relationship-ready or even relationship material. They’re out and about, showcasing themselves on the sexual marketplace, having casual sex and enjoying life. For many of these women, the very last thing they need is a relationship. In fact, for many of them, the concept of a relationship is a foreign concept all in itself.

That’s why when you meet a 30+-year-old woman in Ukraine who’s still single, instant alarm bells should go off. Especially if she’s over 33+ or 35+. Especially if she’s cute and feminine, there’s probably a good reason why an entire brigade of guys decided to pass her over and not put a ring on her finger. And, no, it’s not just you who thinks there’s something that just ain’t right with her.

A quality woman sees a man as a safe harbor, a cement wall who will give her peace and stability, as a necessary element of her life, and also as someone to build a family with. A low-quality woman will see a man for what he can provide: money, resources, attention, sex, etc. The former views the man as a whole, as an important asset and commodity; the latter view him as a bunch of compartments that she can leverage for her own gain.

A quality woman submits to her man and views him as an integral part of her life. A low-quality woman pretends to submit to a man in an effort to extract a particular favor. She never views a man as an integral part of her life.

And, so, to find a quality woman: you have to essentially filter out the women that emit a very strong sexual vibe. Instead, these quality women will be the women who won’t give you an instant erection, women who won’t raise your sexual market value in the eyes of other women and women with whom sex won’t be nearly as exciting. In other words, you must seek the plain women who are even boring in many ways. This is exactly the woman you want for a relationship.

The good news is that there are plenty of them in countries like Ukraine—if only I could take my own advice and begin looking in the right places.

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