Maverick Traveler

Location Independence, Geo Arbitrage, Individual Freedom

A Conversation With A Cold, Calculating and Manipulative Player

One of the advantages of running a popular travel/masculinity blog is being able to meet your readers in person. Over the past six years, I’ve met readers all over the globe—in Rio de Janeiro, New York, Copenhagen, Belgrade, Medellin and Kiev, and almost every city in between. One of these guys even went on to become a very close friend and advisor.

These men came from all kinds of walks of life and had different interests/goals. Some were primarily interested in picking up women. Some liked my unique brand of masculinity and self-improvement without all the negativity and gloom. While others didn’t care much for women or masculinity and just wanted to escape the dreaded 9-5 rat race. What united each one of these men was the desire and determination to rise above the masses and become a better man in some shape or form.

“Hey James, I see you’re currently in New York City. I’m a long time reader of your blog. We should meet up.”

And so read the first email in my mailbox.

A couple of hours later, I was getting a beer with Jake, a 31-year-old American guy. Jake was as American as apple pie. Tall and gregarious. We were having a few beers at an eatery in Manhattan’s Union Square.

“I took a girl home last night. We met in a bar and in less than 30 minutes we were ripping our clothes off back at my place,” He began.

He had a grin stretching from ear to ear.

American girls are the easiest girls in the world,” he continued.

I nodded. He had a valid point.

He paused for a moment before continuing.

“The sex was good, but I already deleted her number. I want someone new,” he said smiling.

“Why? What was wrong with her?” I asked him.

“Nothing in particular. But for me, it’s really all about the chase. A woman gets stale after one night. I want to pick up a new woman tonight.”

“I see,” I replied.

He paused before continuing.

“The chase…” he began telling me.

I listened attentively. He seemed like a person who was on the verge of saying something very profound.

“It’s all about the chase. But it’s also about the pussy. The goal is to conquer, to fuck the woman. After I have sex, I quickly lose interest in the woman.”

I smiled and nodded.

I understood. I knew what he was saying. I’ve been afflicted by the same “disease” as well. The chase was always more fun than the actual sex. The physical act itself took a backseat to the actual steps that were needed to get there. The initial sex was always fun, but each subsequent act was less and less exciting.

By the second or third week, I’m usually ready to move on to someone new.

“Some women are easier than others. But every woman can be fucked if you push the right buttons. If you can make her feel like a cheap slut, you’ll fuck her. If you can make her feel insecure and worthless, you’ll fuck her,” he continued.

“Women are meant to be fucked. That’s what they’re for. Nothing more and nothing less,” he added.

“There are guys who put women on pedestals. Guys who idolize women. Guys who dream about sweeping women off their feet. These guys watched too many Disney movies.”

He chuckled.

“Real life doesn’t work like this. Real life isn’t some Hollywood movie where some hero gets the hot girl.” he added, smiling.

“Thing is,” he paused.

“As a man, you must understand the women’s side too.”

“You can’t be too naive. You must realize that women have their own agenda. They’re not like men. It’s not like us here talking. Men are a team. Me and you—we support each other.”

He stopped talking and looked out in the distance.

“Now, women. They’re the most jealous and callous human beings. Extremely jealous. Heck, they’re even jealous of other women. Jealous of what other women have accomplished. Jealous of the men the other women are with. Even jealous of the handbags their friends carry!”

“They have no loyalty to anyone but themselves. They do what their feelings tell them to do. If they find the guy sexy, they’ll fuck him. It’s that simple. Regardless if they have a boyfriend, husband, or anyone else. The word loyalty isn’t part of their dictionary.”

He stopped talking and took a sip from his beer.

It was a nice day to be sitting in Manhattan’s Union Square. There were people all around us. There were also lots of beautiful women. They were shopping, eating and walking their dogs.

I studied the man in front of me. The more he spoke, the more I understood exactly the sort of man I was dealing with.

I have met many guys like him before. “Hardened players,” as I liked the call them. Guys who’ve approached hundreds or even thousands of women in all kinds of situations. Guys who’ve been rejected by tons of women. Probably rejected more than they needed to be rejected. Guys who chased pussy like it was their last day on the planet. Guys who were deep, deep in the “game.” Not seductiongame. Not the art—technique. They weren’t smooth casanovas; they more resembled cold and calculated players than smooth casanovas.

These guys always fascinated me.

I listened attentively to every single word that came out of his mouth.

His sharp gaze shifted back to me.

“Women are the greatest manipulators in the world. Men do the actual work. We build stuff. We explore space. And what do they do?” he looked at me, as though waiting for an answer.

“Nothing! They simply reap the reward from our labor! If they can manipulate us, why can’t we manipulate them?” he asked in a serious tone.

“You see, it all comes down to manipulation,” he said with a lowered voice.

“Tell me that you’ve never been manipulated by a woman?” he asked.

“I have,” I replied without thinking.

I’ve been involved with some very manipulative women. I certainly understood how manipulative women can be.

“I think,” he started saying again, “is that as men, we’re different than women in a myriad of ways. We’re actually more different than people realize. Our aims and goals are completely different. We have different needs, different capabilities.”

“People who say that men and women are the same are complete and utter idiots,” he scuffed.

“Why a man chooses to get involved in a long term relationship with a woman is simply beyond me.”

“Why enslave yourself?” he asked rhetorically.

“I think the best that the man can do is learn how to beat women in their own game—out-manipulate them, fuck them and then move on. This is our biological duty.”

“I don’t care for the woman itself, I only care for her vagina. The woman means nothing to me. What can a woman really provide a man beside her vagina?”

He didn’t wait for my answer before continuing.

“A woman’s vagina is her source of power. So, instead of letting her manipulate you, you must manipulate it yourself first. Either she manipulates you with it, or you get there first, do your thing and get out.”

“PUA is psychological warfare. It’s about learning how women work, and manipulating them to be attracted to you for the sole purpose of fucking them, and then moving onto the next one.”

“And what do you consider seduction?” I asked him pointblank.

“No such thing as seduction,” he replied. “It’s all about manipulation. Either you manipulate her or she manipulates you. It’s a race to the finish,” he answered.

“Call me dishonest or immoral, or whatever else you want to call me, but I will tell a girl anything she wants to hear in order to get into pants. I’ll be absolutely shameless about it. Heck, I’ll tell her I met the Pope or had beers with Jesus Christ.”

“I don’t care,” he added.

“I’m willing to go all the way. And I’ve done it before.”

He grinned.

He took out a cigarette and slowly lit it with his polished metal lighter. He moved his gaze away from me and examined the people dining around us.

He was thinking about something. Probably scheming about his next target.

I studied him. I studied his small and pointy eyes. Eyes that had difficulty being fixated on the same place for too long. Eyes that were impatiently racing and responding to the slightest stimuli, darting from object to object, from person to person, from woman to woman. He noticed a couple of cute women walking into a nearby coffee shop. He noticed a woman who was sitting a couple of tables over.

I already knew exactly what he was thinking: the fastest way of getting into her pants.

I continued to study him. The more I studied him, the more it dawned on me that this man was trying to prove something. The constant scheming. The constant fucking. He didn’t seem complete unless he approached and fucked yet another woman who crossed his path.

My view has always been different: seduction is always mutual. It’s an implicit contract between a man and a woman. I learned early on that I couldn’t seduce a woman who didn’t like me in the first place. If she didn’t like what was in front of her—me—then it didn’t really matter about anything else, it wasn’t going to work out. 

Besides, why would I want to be someone who didn’t want me? Relationships are mutual.

I wanted to continue picking his brain.

“What about if the woman isn’t into you. She’s just not feeling you?” I asked him.

He shrugged.

“No such thing. All women can be manipulated into sex given the right methods. It’s a battle and I want to win this battle.”

“I get what you’re saying. But what I don’t understand is why expend all this energy on convincing women to sleep with you, women who’re not interested in you. Why not find someone else?” I asked him.

He seemed irritated by my questions.

“You’re not seeing it correctly. It’s not about sex. It’s about winning. Since they manipulate us, we have to manipulate them back. It’s a rough world out there. Either you’re manipulating someone or someone is manipulating you.”

“It’s really that simple.”

“What about leaving the woman better than when you found her?” I asked him.

After uttering that question, I quickly rephrased it so he doesn’t take it the wrong way.

“Don’t get me wrong. I don’t mean being some ‘nice guy’; of course, it’s important to not be a pushover. I just mean trying to build something constructive with the girl. Being honest with your desires and seeing how she responds.”

He gave me a blank stare. It was as though I was speaking Norwegian to him.

“I have no idea what you just said. Leaving her better than when you found her? You can’t be serious. I don’t even know what that means. That doesn’t mean anything to me.”

“I’ve been used by women, so what’s wrong with treating them like they’re treating me?”

The more I thought about it, the more it became clear that I was facing a man who had a score to settle. He was angry and jaded. Something was irritating him. Perhaps it was all the past rejections. Perhaps it was all the past shame. He was willing to channel his energy on a mass of anonymous women instead of something productive that resulted in net benefit to everyone involved.

The war in my heart

There was a war raging in my heart. I was torn. On one hand, I could relate to almost everything he was saying. I could relate to everything he went through and was going through. Not only could I relate, but I could actually empathize with him. As someone who wasn’t a natural with women, I’ve been rejected in all kinds of ways. The manipulative path sure looked appealing. It represented a way for me to channel my rage and energy. I finally had an opportunity to out-manipulate those who manipulated me all my life.

But there was something about his methods and behavior that made me uncomfortable. First and foremost, it was his black and white view of the world. It was also his ‘us vs. them’ mentality. His constant reminder than he is (or men in general are) under some constant threat from evil and manipulative women (as though every single woman is evil and manipulative). Hearing such rhetoric is always a sign that prudence and logic have given way to emotions and rage.

Being a also pragmatist, the only thing I kept thinking during the conversation was just one thing: do the ends justify the means? In order to get what I want, must I become someone like him? And the answer is a resounding ‘no.’ The ends didn’t justify the means. Actually, neither the means nor the ends justified themselves.

I also noticed that there was an element of powerlessness in his behavior. It was as though he didn’t have any choice in the matter. As though his life was driven by forces outside himself. That he had to keep doing this because there was no other way.

But there is another way. There’s always another way. We, men, have an actual choice in the matter. We’re not completely powerless. We can float above the games and tricks. We can decide for ourselves what’s important or trivial.

We can either declare some kind of “war” on women and try to manipulate every single one of them into some superficial sex, or we can just live healthy lives and only interact with women who actually add value to our lives.

It’s all about control. We can decide what we want to do. We can use all our energies on settling some score or we can channel this energy into other endeavors like working out, training martial arts, and building an online empire, etc. It’s a rich world, and it’s up to you if you want to exploit the opportunities that come your way.

But my issue with this man ran deeper than his overly simplified view of the world. My issue with the guy wasn’t the methods he used to get into women’s pants. That was between him and the women. I had nothing to do that with that. The problem was his personality. Or lack of it. He wasn’t someone I’d want to hang out with. He wasn’t someone I’d enjoy having drinks, and philosophizing about life with. He wasn’t someone that I’d solicit any kind of advice from. I had absolutely nothing in common with the guy. He was a man raging at the world. And if you’re reading this, you’d probably feel the exact same way.

I looked at him. He was gone. Not physically—he was still sitting next to me, but mentally he was somewhere else. He wasn’t looking at me. He wasn’t even looking at my direction. His body had turned towards the street. Most likely he was thinking about the next conquest. Perhaps it was the blonde 30-something woman ordering a drink at the bar, or two 20-something tourists from Scandinavia sitting a couple of tables over.

Fearful and vindictive

He was both fearful and vindictive, a dangerous combination. He was also a possessed man. Possessed by his urges and desires. A slave to women. A slave to pussy. A slave to his reptilian brain that knows no logic and just acts on raw emotion. He was a man gamed by game instead of the other way around. A man that had gone so deep down the rabbit hole that he’ll never be able to escape to see the light of the day.

It annoyed me that he had some “score to settle.” And if you also believe there’s some “score to settle,” with a sizable portion of the population (ie., the entire opposite sex), then your problems don’t end there—that’s just the beginning.

Your problem isn’t some woman who isn’t calling you back: your problem is your distorted view of the world. You’re permanently stuck in Plato’s Cave, seeing the world through false stereotypes replete with fears and anxieties instead of boldly embracing and seeing life for what it really is.

What you’re calling ‘manipulation’ and ‘game’ is actually something else – it’s your own false beliefs imposed upon yourself: that instead of facing the world in an authentic, direct and vulnerable way, you must be aloof, indirect, and convoluted with your human desires to the point where no one around-including yourself-even know what you want. And then you wonder why you’re not getting the things that you want.

Instead of being direct with what you want, you resort to some tricks or scheming. The problem is that the only person you’re scheming is yourself. The only person you’re tricking is yourself. All these tricks and games are merely acting as a temporary crutch whose purpose is to delay the day of reckoning when you face your fears head-on, face yourself head-on. It will be a painful day, but it will come. And when it comes, it will sting like a bee. It will hurt. It will fuck you up. IT WILL FUCK YOU UP. You may recover or you may not.

I looked at my watch. It was time go. I was getting ready to return back to Europe-back to my sweet Eastern Europe-and I needed to do many things beforehand. I also wanted to get started on a new project I was working on. Lots of things needed to be done. I had to keep moving towards my goals and ambitions.

I looked at Jake. He was still stuck in his own world. A black and white world where you either manipulate someone or get manipulated yourself. A world of dread and despair. A world of “us vs them.” I wondered what he’ll be doing when he’s 40 or 50 or 60. Still cursing the world? Still trying to “manipulate” every person who comes his way? Or maybe he’ll move to Burma, become a monk and search for higher enlightenment.

I summoned the waiter and paid for my share of the bill. I wished Jake good-bye and promptly headed for the nearest subway station.

I never saw or heard from Jake again.


  1. Interesting take on it and I also get his views on Women, they are not wrong but his action his whole view on life (them vs us, we must beat them at their own game etc.) is wrong. As you said he’s a slave to women and he probably doesn’t even realize it.

    We don’t have to beat them at their game. If you despise women just don’t give a fuck about them and focus on something meaningful instead. Science or Enlightment as a few examples. Channel your anger and hate towards those things and you’ll certainly enjoy life way more than proving that women suck for the rest of your life.

    • I believe we have met the male equivalent of the femminist. Both hurt and jaded and now have negatitve attitudes to the other sex. This is a big reason why there is such a big gap between men and women and it is mostly a socially constructed attitude (especially for women) where it is always subtly framed that men are rapists and cant be trusted, and that being a man actually means being effeminate (if you pay attention you will notice how gender reversals are huge in western cultures) which no doubt leads to a lot of repression and unhappiness in both men and women. This dude fueled that anger and instead of being an effeminate chode he did a 180 and now is cold and calculating and sees the world as a cold dog eats dog place.

    • Well said, Timo.

      It’s always nice to focus on something meaningful.

    • I wouldn’t over analyze Jake too much. If you read a book called “Relentless” you’ll see that all of the “greats” at sports, business, etc have a very dark side. Their obsession borders mental illness. That’s what makes them great. They are willing to give up everything else for success in one area. Most of us aren’t. The word “balance” or “lifestyle” doesn’t even register with them.

      Michael Jordan’s teammates say he was extremely mean and condescending when they messed up. He tore people new assholes every night because he wanted to be the best ever. He was obsessed. Is there a huge difference in happiness between being the best ever, and being an average NBA player, probably not. It can’t hurt to respect somebody who has reached a level of mastery, if it’s true.

      I agree with Jake on the manipulation aspect. In other countries, it’s a trade. In the US, it’s a ridiculous game of “who’s out of who’s league here?” American men can use a lesson or two on assertiveness, manipulation and getting what they want. You have two choices if you want something. You go get it, or you let it fester inside of you.

      In terms of “game,” I have a long standing debate with a friend. He wants a “perfect relationship,” so he doesn’t approach anyone who’s not perfect. This is a terrible mistake for 3 reasons.

      1. Approach anxiety builds up the longer you go without approaching
      2. You’ll lose social skills and conversational skills without practice
      3. Anyone you approach just might turn out to be a fun friend leading to other fun friends

      I met the best girlfriend I ever had at a bar, by myself, on a fucking tuesday night with a lame opener: “what kind of music do you like?” She enriched my life so much, and introduced me to this whole new world of latin america. If I hadn’t have been practicing “opening” girls on a tuesday, it never would have happened.

  2. Us vs. them means you’ll do the bad stuff first to win and also attract only people who think like you, dog, which will confirm your views…Honestly there are many women in EE who are anything but manipulative. They’re better than me even though I live openly with integrity. Sure, some are terrible but you filter them out when you’re honest.

  3. Great description of this man’s mannerisms and your conversation. Although it ‘s hard for one man to judge one another, what jumped out the most at me about this character was the lack of integrity. Maybe it’s just with women, and not other men, but who knows. I would have difficulty trusting someone like that in my own life as well.

    The lying, the scheming, the manipulating, saying anything the woman wants to hear just to get some poon. There is obviously a better way like you said.

    A man who gets some poon but loses his values and principles along the way has paid too steep a price.

  4. With this article you’ve destroyed PUA.

  5. Very thoughtful post Mav. I started disassociating myself with the game community some time ago. Precisely because I’ve come across too many dudes like this. These are broken men. They can talk about little else but sex and game, which makes them very boring people after awhile.

    That guy in your story probably has no real friends or fruitful relationships in their life. They are sex addicts chasing the next hit like a meth addict.

    I realize settling down and having a family isn’t for every guy, but hopefully dudes like this will find a healthy way of dealing with women.

  6. Mav,

    This is an interesting post. But I think you’ve missed the biggest point.

    The biggest point is not whether the ends justify the means and whether his worldview is moral or not.

    The biggest point is that his means are, in the long term, doomed to fail.

    If this guy needs to manipulate (his own word) women into sleeping with him, if he needs to manipulate his way into women’s pants, that means there is nothing inherently attractive about him. He’s just a con artist who has managed to deceive and manipulate a number of American women (who are not famous for their emotional intelligence or high morals).

    But – as YOU, Mav, recognized here a long time ago – a truly attractive man that women want to date – does not need to manipulate them, lie to them, or otherwise mislead them. He’s so attractive that all he has to do is to show up, display his great qualities, and women are automatically attracted to him.

    Does your friend Jake really think that guys like Tom Cruise, Leo DiCaprio, DJE and Sylvester Stallone need to manipulate women in order to sleep with them?

    I’ll tell you who really needs to manipulate women: low-quality, unattractive, bland guys who have nothing to offer. Men who have nothing except their PUA skills going for them.

    As for the idiotic question:

    ““Why a man chooses to get involved in a long term relationship with a woman is simply beyond me.”
    “Why enslave yourself?” he asked rhetorically.
    “I think the best that the man can do is learn how to beat women in their own game—out-manipulate them, fuck them and then move on. This is our biological duty.””

    Why would any man choose to get involved in a long-term relationship with women?

    Hmmm… Might that be because he may want to start a family with her, to a) produce a capable heir to the throne and b) to grow old and die surrounded by a family?

    AFAIR, our biological duty is to reproduce, to start families in order to perpetuate our genetic line. One-night stands with condoms do not serve that purpose.

    I personally know a lot of guys who are married or in serious long-term relationships with good women, and not only are they not “enslaved”, they’re actually stronger for it. And when they come back home from work or from the gym, there’s a pretty face waiting for them with a beautiful smile and a warm meal.

    That guy Jake only wishes he were so fortunate – be so attractive as to have a beautiful AND devoted wife/long-term girlfriend. That way he could have amazing sex every night AND a lot more. But he won’t. And he doesn’t deserve to.

    Eventually, those guys I know will die surrounded by large, loving families who will carry on their lives’ work, while your friend Jake, if he doesn’t radically change course, will die alone, abandoned, and forgotten.

  7. The other comments said it already what was wrong. But I still have a rhetoric question for you : why are you still searching to seduce women and not settling for one person ? ( I presume you aren’t in a RS ). Are you obligated by lifestyle and business to do this ? Don’t you think you can fabricate a really great relationship by putting a lot of efforts in ?

    • “Are you obligated by lifestyle and business to do this ?”

      No idea what this means.

      • I think what he’s trying to ask you is, what you are searching for your life that you are still on the run and not have settled down to enjoy life with a gorgeous woman? You are location, people and society independent. You achieved what a lot of man are desperately looking for and never will achieve. You become your own Man. When reading your blog/books I have the feeling that there is something you are still searching for. Am I wright or do you just like to be on the run.

  8. Eventually this man will never be satisfied. He could be getting pussy after pussy and slay 10000 number of pussy but it will still not be enough. Nothing wrong with wanting pussy but a man should be a builder and have bigger goal. He contradicted to what he said about man earlier. I think you have a healthier view of women compared to the man you are talking about. Different approach. Like you said, a this man is slave to pussy and women. Enjoying women is one thing but spending 24/7 time chasing women without having other goal is not a way to live in my opinion.

  9. Great piece as usual, Mav.

    I agree with all the comments. This is a broken man. He’s chasing something that doesn’t exist. (and probably he doesn’t know that himself).

    The irony.

  10. Damn right.

    PUA’s are all losers. Running around and chasing women as though it’s some noble cause.

    Why young men idolize them is beyond me.

  11. Every book from a top “PUA” that I have read was a man driven by the same forces. Rejected by women on various levels when they were younger they now seeked to show the world that they can get sex and vindicate the wrong they feel. It is not about women or even sex. Those are just a way of keeping score, another notch, another strike at the enemy. It is ultimately a self-destructive behavior and ends up harming them as much as the women.

  12. Congratulations to you, sir.

    You’ve managed to sum in one articles everything I hate about modern male self-improvement.

    PUA != self-improvement

    In fact, I think they hurt the cause more than helping it.

  13. Thanks. The whole PUA movement actually is biggest pedestal of all. You are telling men to spend years training themselves to extract sex from women. It is nothing about telling women how to be better women. What is their solution when women get worse. You just have to adapt and work harder. There is nothing about building mutually beneficial relationships. There is nothing about the importance of love and affection. I am not saying you don’t need to learn some basic skills about interacting with women and about women themselves. But for these guys the objective is not one of mutual benefit it is about attacking and destroying a perceived enemy – a war. And in a war, even when you win, you still lose.

  14. I’ve met guys like him as well.

    The arrogance they have is beyond words. I can’t stand these guys. Even out 10 min conversation was too much.

    These guys are full of shit.

  15. Probably the best place article you’ve ever written, Maverick. Brilliantly written and very well said.

    Thank you for putting into words something I’ve been saying for a long time.

  16. Great article. Obviously this guy is the pick-up version of an extremist.

    I think it’s common to go through something of an internal struggle as someone who has spent time improving interactions with women – enjoy the fruits of your labour and play the field – or settle down and build something with one great woman. For me, this has often been a source of inner conflict. My desire is to enjoy my freedom until my mid-thirties and then settle down and have a family with the best woman I can find – but in reality I often get lured into relationships when the woman is good quality. This isn’t a bad thing but sometimes I do feel guilty when I know the woman is probably looking to build something more than me. Life is full of imperfection and relationships are no different. One thing I would say though – men and women – WE’RE ALL ON THE SAME TEAM!!! – we’re all just trying to be happy and make good lives for ourselves.

    • Your dilemma is exactly why I’m starting to think traditional cultures were onto something in having people marry young with arranged marriages picked by family elders. Too much freedom can sometimes be as much of a problem as not enough freedom. Then you end up with the “paradox of choice” and everyone perpetually expecting something better to be right around the corner.

    • LJ, yep you’re right.

      We’re on the same team. Except the feminists and masculinists (?) or whatever they’re called that are creating all these “culture wars.”

  17. Great post as always, James. Men in the West are indeed thirsty as a result of the current feminized culture.

  18. Timely post for me, as I’ve had a recent epiphany that much of the stuff I read nearly daily on the Manosphere, mostly on TRP, was negative and was making me jaded and cynical at only 23 years old. I was letting others’ warped opinions influence my world view negatively. The 15% of material that was incredible is what kept me around, but I think it’s time to move on.

    I think there’s a difference between being a completely traditional beta, and being red pill and masculine and yet having warmth and love in your heart and soul for other beings. I’ve made comments in the past that I’ve essentially regurgitated from TRP about how 99% of women are evil because of this and that, etc.

    I really like that last section of your post, because it’s a great, well-written exposure of how unrelenting cynicism can cloud everything about your interactions with others. After going through life like this, you may find yourself far away from where you wanted.

    I personally found myself doing all the things right on the outside, but yet not having the inner belief in them. My behaviours may have seemed ingenious and not projecting warmth and love of others and life. I find myself meditating on this nearly daily to reverse the changes the negativity and cynicism has caused.

    The key is that the PUA and heartless RP guys channel negative energy, not positive energy. I think the right path is to build yourself into the man you truly want to be, use a few slick PUA tactics (but from a source of positivity and warmth), and make your interactions genuine and open. Don’t fake, alter, or conceal yourself so much that you fool yourself in the end. Would like to hear James and other readers’ thoughts on this.

  19. Another fantastic post Mav. You have eloquently written what I have been thinking but was unable to express. Many men or shall we say Boys are like this. Especially in the US and Canada. On one hand it is sad bc they are a product of the feminist environment. Misandry runs deep in western culture and there are no male role models. Men get extremely confused – they get rejected when they are being nice – and respected when they become assholes. In essence boys grow up to hate themselves and anything masculine. Having attraction for a girl is frowned upon and hence boys develop much shame and guilt. I was in my 40s when I started becoming aware of all the brain washing. The fact is most guys do not have a father as a protector and role model. I have noticed boys who have had good father figures are usually well balanced and better adjusted. The problem with Jake is he really has not risen above from hating himself. In the meantime he is a force of destruction.

  20. Richard McDouglas

    March 16, 2016 at 9:03 pm

    Congratulations, Mav. You’ve just written the best post ever on this blog.

    Thank you.

  21. Guy sounds like he fits the description of a sociopath.

    Regardless, I’m glad you wrote what you did. Too many guys out there are still holding an “us vs them” mentality because of past hurts and issues, and they look up to guys that both get women, and also hold this mentality. Then naturally they begin to adopt their worldview.

    Dangerous road to go down. Thanks for the article.

  22. I am the guy from the article, stop talking bullshit about me behind my back. lol just kidding :)))

    I was also into reading manosphere stuff, some of the techniques are helpful, like “pipelining” info about online Dating and so on. But in the end PUA and the manosphere are the biggest pedestalization of all. Men who make women their entire focus in life.

  23. Pua (Manipulation) of people became the modern virus of the 21st century. Every woman he has manipulated is either already a manipulative girl or if she is not mentally strong and intelligent will become one.

  24. Thanks for providing this account. As a female I will probably never have the opportunity to have a discussion as you’ve had with this kind of guy so it’s helpful to see this conversation and your perspective.

    I can relate to your blog because I’ve done the same as you, left my home country in the west to live in the east and I am now enjoying my dream life. I have similarly antithetical views of men as you’ve had of women based on previous dating experiences in the west and I’m slowly taking ownership over my part, by way of the collective lineage, in the mentality that has created these.

    I just want to preface my comment with mentioning that women are vulnerable and can be incredibly hurt by men manipulating or playing us purely for sex and sometimes as a female you can feel like a commodity just walking down the street in a nice dress and it’s uncomfortable. That’s just how I feel sometimes and I wonder whether men still realise how much emotional pain these acts can cause to women no matter how strong women might seem on the outside because society tells us these days to hide our emotions as much as men. I just wonder why people are so desensitised to these games when, being part of women’s groups, I hear a lot of pain from women all over the world when they consciously reconcile their sexual histories. If women are the more vulnerable sex as has been mentioned here, then where is the instinct to protect gone? I just wanted to balance it with these questions that I hear from many women. As you have revealed an insider account between two men, I thought I would be transparent with how women can feel in these times. People might ask where the feminine women are these days just as we might ask where the chivalrous men are. Yet as long as we keep acting and reinforcing these games it produces a hostile culture of distrust.

    I’m no ‘feminist’ just a human wanting to live my life in authenticity and have meaningful connections where there is no game. I don’t know where things meet with the shift in gender roles but you’ve started to identify it here so I’m grateful for your contribution. It’s truly about authenticity and being honest with yourself and others, knowing yourself and what you want and articulating it with honesty. It also starts with respecting that we are all unique and have different needs and desires. We can’t project our perceptions onto all men and women, we can only share our own truth and make our own choices. Living from the heart is never a game.

  25. He has become the thing he hates.

  26. From the way he sounds- he is a predator without him realizing it.
    – He is insecure and have a very low self steem
    – He is afraid of being rejected that is why he prefers to reject first
    – He may have experienced child abuse or neglect in the past that is why his views are twisted

    My husband is narcissistic because of child abuse experienced from his father and neglect from his mother. Recently he committed an affair and it was almost similar to what the guy did. He manipulated the girl to being bed with him and say things the girl wanted to hear because he thought the girl wouldnt like him. There are other girls who liked him but he was not interested in them because he wants chase. Im broken and planning to leave him. He projected all the hate to me and I am now suffering from the emotional trauma and abuse. I almost hate all guys but hey not all guys are not like him and I have 3 wonderful little boys.

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