Maverick Traveler

Location Independence, Geo Arbitrage, Individual Freedom

An Enlightening Conversation With A Ukrainian Girl

After dinner, I invited Irina back to my place for some drinks and relaxation. She agreed without any hesitation.

We met three weeks ago after I approached her at a Kiev metro station. Ever since, I liked everything about her. I enjoyed discussing with her various topics with the same intensity that I enjoyed looking at her sexy body.

She came inside my spartan apartment, took off her shoes, and immediately made herself at home.

I fixed her a drink and sat next to her on the couch.

“So, why did you decide traveling?” she asked me with a certain curiosity.

I paused before answering. It was a question that I’ve been asked numerous times, and, it seemed, every one of those times, the answer would invariably change to something new.

“I guess it was a way to escape and see what else was out there,” I began trying to formulate an answer.

“I started traveling gradually, but each succeeding trip became longer and longer. Days turned into weeks. Weeks turned into years.”

“The culmination of it all was when I ended up living two years in Brazil. It was one of the happiest times in my life,” I said, switching my gaze from her beautiful hazel eyes to the city view out of the window behind her.

She smiled and took a sip from her drink.

“As it happened, traveling opened my eyes to a world beyond America; it opened my eyes to a world that was drastically different, and much more compatible with my values,” I continued.

“What kind of values?” She interrupted.

“Living in Brazil thought me that meeting and forming relationships with people should be effortless, a huge difference compared to how it’s done in America.”

“By people, you mean sexy Brazilian women?” She smiled seductively.

She saw right through me, but I didn’t mind; discussing international mating rituals is always a great conversational topic.

“Well, yes, of course the women,” I smiled.

“I can’t deny; I like women. Women are important. Besides, I’ve always been interested at how different are the mating rituals in each country.”

She was attentively listening.

“In Brazil, meeting women is simple, natural and effortless. I can come up to a woman and begin flirting. In fact, it’s expected. That was the most striking difference as soon as I returned to America. In America, things are completely different.”

“What do you mean? What’s it like in America?”

“Don’t get me started,” I said, perfectly knowing that it would pique her curiosity even further.

“It’s a mess in America. A complete mess,” I said in a disgusted tone.

I sighed.

“Meeting and seducing women in America is like playing chess. Literally. I make a move and then she makes a move. I make another move and she makes another move. Our goal is to outsmart each other,” I began describing a process that, I, unfortunately, knew all too well.

“Many times this ‘clicking’ that we are experiencing right now isn’t automatic. In fact, most times it’s not. If you were an American girl, we would be having a different conversation right now. I would probably try to impress you, all with the purpose of getting you to like me. In return, you would try to act aloof and indifferent. In America we call that “game”: a way for a man to generate attraction in a woman.”

“That really does sound like a mess. I can’t imagine being with a guy who plays games; to me that just means he’s insecure and lacks confidence. I like a confident man. I think every woman does,” she echoed precisely what has been my experience in Ukraine and most Eastern European countries.

I finished my drink, and seeing that her drink was almost empty, went to the kitchen and made her a new one. I returned with two drinks only to find her getting more comfortable on my couch. There will be no games tonight with this beautiful woman.

“Yep, that’s exactly how it is,” I continued, gaining my stride. I couldn’t believe we were discussing the exact same topic that, over the past few years, I’ve spent lots of time thinking about it.

“Also, in America the men are mostly feminine sissies and the women are masculine ball-busters. It’s the complete opposite of nature and evolution”

“For example, I have a friend in New York who’s completely owned by his girlfriend. She says jump, he asks ‘how high.’ It’s sickening to see a man being dominated like that. He has no backbone. But that’s what is happening to men these days.”

She was amazed, nodding in agreement.

“He’s been so strongly assimilated into American culture, that I don’t recognize anything Eastern European in him. I look at him and no longer see a man.”

“That’s funny you say that. What about you? What do you consider yourself? Are you more American or more Eastern European?”

“Hmm. I guess I would say, 50/50, or maybe 30/70; 30% American, 70% Eastern European. While I have many American friends and like America, my heart belongs here in Eastern Europe.”

“It’s amazing to see how quickly people acclimate to American culture. For instance, the Russian and Ukrainian women in America are nothing like their counterparts here.”

“How so?”

“They become selflessly spoiled. I’ve known women, who after moving to US, completely changed within 2-3 years. It’s truly sad to see how people change so drastically.”

“I’m proud of having grown up in New York, and of having had very good friends, but I’ve never quite fit into the American lifestyle. That probably has to do with me not being very young when I came. Had I been younger (or even born there), there’s no doubt I would’ve been much more Americanized.”

“And you probably wouldn’t be here in Kiev, and we’ve probably wouldn’t have met.” She finished my thought, smiling.

“Right,” I admitted.

I paused, getting lost in some thought. Moments later I let out a deep sigh of relief.

“It feels good to be here. It truly does. I mean, look, I can honestly tell you that I like spending time with you. I find you interesting and attractive. But I can’t do that in America. If I do that, that will be a sign of weakness. The girl might immediately lose all attraction for me.”

Irina listened intently to every single one of my words.

“Look, I know you like me, and I didn’t have to do anything special for you to like me. I didn’t have to impress you. I didn’t have to buy you a drink. You like me because I’m a good guy; you like me because I understand you; you like me because we click. In fact, it would be strange if you didn’t like me,” I said running my eyes through her deliciously beautiful legs that were comfortably folded on the couch next to me.

“So, initially, I thought that my future wife will be a gorgeous Brazilian or Colombian, but after spending time here, I think I know that my wife will be from my own culture, a nice Russian or Ukrainian girl,” I said.

“Honestly, you really have no idea how great it feels to be able to connect with you. The way we’re sitting here and talking, this effortless feeling, that’s something I couldn’t do with a single woman in America in all my years of living there.”

“How do people communicate in America, then?” she inquired, looking puzzled.

“Great question. I think it’s because in America people view each other as sworn competitors instead of amiable companions. There’s this pervasive dog-eat-dog mentality among people, and the relationships between the sexes is no exception.”

I tried my best to come up with a logical explanation. Other than that, I was stumped.

How do people really communicate? Do they really communicate?

I realized that to answer that question, I needed to redefine what the word “communicate” really meant.

None of that mattered now. I was over five thousand miles away, away from America, away from feminism, away from masculine and ball-busting women; away from a world that tries so hard to change the way things were intended by nature.

I was spending quality time with an amazing woman, with whom I was seemingly connecting on many levels.

I leaned over and gave her a kiss. She reciprocated as though she was patiently waiting for it all along.

It would be an amazing night.

It felt great to be back home.

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21 Comments

  1. Hi there James

    Must admit I really like your narrative style of travel writing. It is so different. As much as I enjoy a good old Buzzfeed list I really feel like too few people spend time writing nowadays.

    Also loved how much chemistry there was in the piece without you having to force it. I have tried my hand at writing about that physicality and failed miserably 😉
    Looking forward to reading more posts.

    Brigid

  2. Seems like Irina is married already 😉
    I’m heading soon for Macedonia and Albania

    • That’s great, looking forward to a report 🙂

    • As a macedonian I see so much familiarity here and in the states with the only difference that all is happening on a much lower standard here. Playing the game of chess. Reading american magazines, chasing sex & city lifestyle, celebrity pop culture… No spontaneity, no beauty. I envy you Maverick, and looking forward to that report. Let’s hope that my game just sucks, although I believe in normal connection between men and women without any pretentions.

  3. Leonardo Castanheira

    April 7, 2014 at 4:02 pm

    Don’t mean to be rude, dude. But I think you made a little mistake above; I believe that, instead of “thought” you should’ve used “taught”. Great article, as usual.

  4. Mav… I’ve been reading your articles… And I basically agree with everything you’re saying. What I mean is that I think I would most likely say the same things about the topics you discuss in your articles. I’ve traveled extensively myself and have similar perspectives as you do.

    Now, I want to ask you a question that I’ve been pondering myself. Has it ever occurred to you to consider the possibility that your lack of success with American women is a result of the fact that you’re simply not an attractive person (either physically or personality-wise)? And that it would be fair and completely reasonable for you not to succeed in the American dating scene because of that?

    • Sorry man, it’s not my biz to stick in other people’s conversations and I’m not advocating anybody but look how you even described it – “dating scene”! As something totally emotionless and robotic. What Mav is saying is not about “scoring” but about vivid girls and human relations! Look at bigger picture bro

      • I didn’t mean it about just “scoring.” I don’t think the term “dating scene” implies anything emotionless or robotic, but I wouldn’t mind rewriting the last sentence in my comment to read, “…for you not have succeeded in dating the kinds of women you were attracted to in America…”

        Anyway, I think I might have been wrong. I’ve dated attractive women in America, but they’ve all had problems that turned me off of them which I think are directly related to modern Western culture and, particularly, that culture’s interpretation of feminism. They’ve obviously felt the need to compete with me, which has interfered with communication and killed romance. They’ve had too much of a sexual past. They’ve felt entitled to me acting as a gentlemen, instead of appreciative. They’ve casually expressed man-hating opinions. They’ve been robotic and calculating when it came to physical intimacy (e.g. following rules based on the number of dates or the amount of money I had spent). And during love-making, they’ve more than once acted in a very exaggerated way, as if they were trying to emulate what they’ve seen in pornos.

        I just wanted to cover all my bases by considering that it could just be a problem with myself (or men like me, like Mav). But I guess I don’t really think it is.

        The other day, I met a Chinese woman in her late forties with a 21 year old son who was more attractive than the vast majority of American women in their 20s. Really. I wanted to have sex with her very much. Now, she left no doubt that she was a strong and confident woman. And it wasn’t simply that she was in relatively good physical shape that I was attracted to her. It was because she was feminine. It was because touching her would feel the way it was supposed to, and having sex with her would feel the way sex is supposed to. Femininity.

        There you go, girls. Something to think about. Femininity. What it is and what it isn’t.

    • You completely misunderstood the narrative. James learned the Game and can score in America. And in fact you don’t need a pleasant personality to score in the States if you know how. As for his looks, I am certainly not a fan or expert on male beauty, but his looks appear above average for an American guy. What he meant was the disgust with the general feminist culture and the necessity of the Game in the first place. I come from the same background as James, (Ukraine/ Russia), and I understand exactly what he means.

  5. No offense, but I think you can do better than this. This story was a little bit embarrassing to read. Almost as if you were making up scripted lines that would never sound natural coming out of two people’s mouths. To take your writing to the next level, I think you should stop trying to sound literary, stop caring about how you want others to perceive you (which in turn makes your voice forced and unnatural) — and just pour out things raw and unfiltered. Just my 2 cents.

  6. I’m from Brazil. The reason American men go there (or to Eastern European countries) is because they want what American women lack: submissiveness. Hair saloons, gym, mall, plastic surgery… We are born and raised to please men, which includes video tutorials on how to give a proper blow job and how to wax your own asshole.

    Evidently, for men, eastern european or latin women are the way to go! A woman who thinks you are awesome and agrees with you almost all the time? Sure!

    My take on it is a bit different… The game gets old, and women who live to please men like that lack their own personality. During this whole dialogue, it was all about him teaching her how it is in America “Aren’t I enlightening you, my darling?” — “Oh, yes, you are soooo well travelled and cultured! And American!”. It’s kind of a sad cliché… For both sides.

    I agree that American women are tough, and that relationships in the US are robotic. Men have become scared of women, and now it seems like the genders just hate each other, and if wasn’t for sex and babies, they wouldn’t even exist in the same space. But American men have to step up and get the respect and admiration of their women. Respect and admiration, I said, not this 1950s sexism you find in South America and Eastern Europe.

    • Men have to step up? Why? You’re just one side of the conflict, demanding that the other side give in, rather than seeking a solution to the conflict.

    • Let’s be fair – the people are controlled by media now days. What you show on TV, feed through internet and glamour magazines is what young people cultivate in their minds. I don’t know Why and Who thought out the image of “independent, feminine shark living in urban wilderness” but this is exactly what young girls want to be. Kim Kardashian – like or Jessica Parker. You write about self-realization of women – great! Now tell us please, what message those two women types are carrying? Maybe brilliant education, maybe intellect? I believe the modern media (not a modern US society as you name it) are breeding consumers, not independent and smart girls. They want them to make money just to consume more fashion shit. To be independent consumers. Not influenced by men. They want men to spend more because “hard to satisfy” girls need more flashy things to be thrown. What’s wrong in the natural desire of women to be family oriented and wishing to be protected by strong man who earns for living? But this image is not cultivated by media because it not economically profitable I guess. Of course this is just one part of the modern western game!

  7. Also, sorry to say this, but the author seems like one of the contestants from “The Pick up artist”. I read some of your posts about how “Brazilian women love to get fucked”, “They LOVE aggressive men”. Dude… Sorry to be the one giving you the bad news, but… You don’t like women, my dear, you only like pussy. I see a lot of ignorance for someone so well travelled :-/

  8. Hello there. 🙂
    First of all, I apologize for my bad grammar. 😀
    Erm.. My name is Ching (not a true name) but I love Ching. Ching Shih was a female pirate long time ago.

    I am from a conservative country which we women here need to be masculine even tho me as a girl, I don’t want to. It’s really exhausting but we women here need to. If we show ourselves as weak, other men even women here will call us weak. I know I can’t be shameful with that but they said it as an insult. And we women here also need to control what we wear or else people here will call us slut. Hence if there is any cases of rape or attack, people normally blame the victims (women). They said because she didn’t wear decent clothes so serve her right. Something like that. Even tho the victim covering all of her body, still rape rates here are increasing.

    I really want to be a woman but there are women in certain places couldn’t be. They need to take care of themselves. Believe me I lost trust towards men in my place.

    But I know not all men in the world are same. I just share my stories. I still have hope I will find A MAN one day.

    Love your articles. Hope you always have bless days.

  9. Dear Ching!!
    I empathise with you so much, as do so many women in this awful, modern world!
    We women (all the ones I know and that is a lot) want to be WOMEN!
    I find that in the UK most women are now expected to be men; workhorses and yes, it’s exhausting, but failure isn’t acceptable.
    Female friends can huddle together and bemoan the fact that we’re worn out, that we’re fed up and sick of trying to be everything.
    But the next day we paint the ‘wonder woman’ smile back on and start again.

    Why do we do it?

    There are too many man- hating feminists ready to rip a weak woman to sheds for letting the side down, for one thing.
    And another: Try asking a man to do anything much these days…….
    Have they forgotten how to be men or are they just using woman’s Lib as an excuse to be lazy?
    Often a male response will be ‘you asked for equality, you got it!’

    Men are now expected to ‘show their feminine side’ – they are no longer required to be MEN.

    Society almost dictates that women don’t even need men.
    Women must juggle full times jobs with home, kids and yes, even ‘man jobs’, so in reality, we probably don’t need men, but………. we want MEN.

    We miss Men; men who are confident and comfortable with their masculinity- not the bullies who like to use and abuse women, just strong, protective, courteous, masculine MEN.
    There is nothing as wonderful as a man’s protective, comforting arms.
    A man who will gladly carry the heavy bags, open a door and appreciate the meal you cooked him.
    (And of course a lot of other things 😉 )
    A man we can turn to for advice and support, one who actually wants that responsibility.

    But we’re not allowed to say that, let alone think it – because women are the new men.
    By force, by coercion, by emotional blackmail, by governments who want genderless societies.

    Gender roles are so confused and screwed up.

    Younger women seem to think that the more body on show, the more men love it.
    Actually, a lot of men seem to be bored with it.
    Where’s the mystery gone? Almost naked isn’t necessarily ‘feminine’ often it’s cheap and trashy.
    Why not leave something to the imagination?

    Are women who dress like this trying to impress men or compete with other women?

    We haven’t reached the stage of aggressive behaviour show by some American women; I don’t think we play the same silly mind games, but for how much longer?

    When will women have the freedom to stand up and say ‘I want to be a woman’?
    Come back men, all is forgiven – we miss you!

    All we wanted was a balance where women were at the side of their men, not under their feet.

    Was that really such an impossibility?

    • Chris, it’s those ball-breaking feminists who are weak, not the true, embodied feminine women who have the strength to show and feel their emotions. The feminist idea of working being strong, by acting like robots, hiding their emotions and pretending that they have everything all together is weakness. The strong woman mask is hurting women mentally, emotionally, physically, causing heart attacks, depression, weight gain and illnesses. Spiritually feminism sucks the heart and energy out of women. But, these feminists won’t ever admit these truths. They are too much on denial. They are empowered! Yeah right! Not!

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