Home South Africa South African Women: #1 Dating Guide

South African Women: #1 Dating Guide

by James

South Africa is the most European country in Africa. I’ve experienced this country, especially Cape Town, both as a nice guy, and as a confident guy capable of walking up to any girl, getting her number, or taking her home. Thus, upfront I can tell you that if you don’t make the first move with women, you won’t be getting any action in South Africa.

The following is a guest post from Guy Séduire from Nice Guy Seduction.

The Women


South Africa’s population consists of more or less 81% blacks, 9% Colored, 8% White, and 2% Indian/Asian. Within these demographics, there is a wide range of personality types.

The more north you travel within South Africa, the more you are moving into Africa, and the less European vibes you feel (as you do in Cape Town). Plus, you’ll notice more tropical fruit, darker skin colors, and wilder animals at the nature reserves. And, less sexual inhibitions in the women.

Johannesburg and Pretoria are a large metropolis. It’s the place to live if you want to make more money in your career, but otherwise, it’s not touristic. Travelers would go there as a starting point to African safaris.

In these large business cities, you can imagine there are often bored horny women. Moreover, if you check out the coastal city, Durban, there will be plenty of Indian girls to date. However, the South (especially Cape Town) is much more touristic. Thus, Capetonian guys enjoy dating hot tourist girls from all over the world, especially during the Summer.

Language info

There are 11 official languages, of which 2 is of European origin (English and Afrikaans). You’ll easily get by with only speaking English. Bonus languages that can help are Dutch or Flemish. The 9 other African languages are not useful outside of South Africa.

Dating Culture

The black girls are known for being somewhat more promiscuous and forward sexually than the white girls. Colored girls are in-between black and white women. First date sex is more likely with black and colored women than with white women. Still, if a white girl is into you, on some first dates you will go all the way.

Especially if she’s into smoking marijuana, drinking, or already a parent (thus with a lot of sexual experience). Yet, white girls are often still very marriage-minded – with these don’t expect first date sex. Girls would sometimes marry when they’re 24 (or earlier), after finishing a university degree. Then get pregnant, and that’s that.

Compared to the girls of Europe and North America, South African white girls are a little more prudish and less overtly sexual (partly because it’s a more dangerous country). Plus, open relationships are sometimes frowned upon. Yet, the “good girls” leave their family homes after school, start drinking, smoking cigs and marijuana. Of course, sexual experimentation is a natural outflow of this.

My Preference

I’ve been with an exotic French-speaking Mauritius girl in South Africa. She had a cute Western face. I didn’t mind her darker skin tone. On the other hand, black girls have more African faces. Although here and there, e.g. in Ethiopian restaurants, you’ll notice that in some African countries up north the girls also have more Western faces.

Furthermore, I remember once going out with a girl with one colored and one white parent. She was cute, young, and uninhibited. However, in South Africa, my preference 95% of the time, is dating white girls. Why? Because there isn’t cultural or political conflict with these girls. And since they look the same as me, I find them the most attractive (Don’t be the asshole who judges my preference).


The girls in South Africa tend to be above average tall, but not as tall as e.g. in the Netherlands. Furthermore, obesity is often a problem – especially as girls get older. There isn’t as much a health-aware culture. Young girls at varsity tend to stay in shape better. They do sports like Netball or field hockey and stay above-average fit.

Unfortunately, for women its less safe to walk outside, to go for a run any time of the day, or go cycling, than in the First World. This contributes to female weight problems. Thus there are plenty of fitness clubs and e.g. CrossFit gyms where attractive girls train.

Hookup Culture?

Of course, there’s a hookup culture in South Africa, like in the rest of the West. The girls with the virtuous appearance would also get down with the right guy – and you could be that guy. Although, not always on the first date – sometimes only on the second or third date.

Try to figure out what kinda girl it is, e.g. if its a very religious white girl, don’t expect a first date hookup. But, with black and colored girls, my wing tells me even if they say they are religious, they’ll still have sex on the first date.

According to him, black girls can be very blasé and open after casual sex. Whether you want a relationship or not, it’s all good with them – no pressure. Colored girls differ from girl to girl – Some want a relationship, and some don’t. Some are crazy, some are smart, and some are adventurous. He prefers colored girls to black girls. He calls them more vibrant, interesting and crazy in a positive way. Plus, he feels both colored and black girls can have very attractive and firm bodies.

If you want to date black girls, South Africa can be a paradise. Black hired guns will flirt with you during the daytime if you’re a decent-looking foreigner – at the cash registers of supermarkets, or at takeaway joints (wherever they can).

Meeting South African women during the day

You see fewer hot girls walking outside by day because it’s a dangerous country. Thus, you have to go to the safer shopping malls to meet women. The culture is such that no-one is going to make a scene if you start a friendly conversation with a stranger in a shopping mall. During weekends, the “organic” food markets are usually also a good place to meet attractive women.

In the day, you’ll meet a few girls who have never been cold approached. Yet, if you’re a smooth guy, you could potentially get any girl’s number, depending on if you’re the right look and personality for her. Girls will sometimes compliment you for your guts to approach. Even if she rejects you when she is e.g. in a relationship.

The country is surrounded by beaches, thus expect good beach game in the summer.

Maybe it’s the warm weather and culture, but South Africans are generally friendly people. Girls tend to be feminine, cute and warm-blooded. Especially if the girl is more or less your social class or type. But you’ll get a few cold rejections as well.

Meeting South African Women at night

At night, there are once again safety concerns. You have to win the girl’s trust to take her home. Partying with normal-looking friends will help to show that you’re a cool guy with social proof. Instead of appearing like the loner in the club – be social. Yet, if you’re gaming solo, go out anyway and make new friends wherever you’re partying.

The nightlife clubbing scene is not huge. It’s relatively small if you’re looking for upmarket bars. The bustling nightlife ranges from high-end “European” clubs to African “ghetto style” bars. In South Africa’s nightlife, you’ll also meet foreign African girls from neighboring countries like Botswana, Mozambique, Zimbabwe, Namibia, or even islands like Mauritius.

At the end of the night, when the clubs close, you may go home with a girl after e.g. twenty minutes if she’s very into you. But otherwise, take your time dancing and getting to know her – then go home together later that night.

While out clubbing you’ll find eager girls who’d do one night stands. Of course, not all girls would, but it goes with the territory. Amidst smoking, drinking, and raunchy dancing – sex wouldn’t be outside of those girl’s comfort zones. But I can’t guarantee that the girl will go all the way on the first night. Some will, some won’t.

In the winter, night game is quieter. It rains, it’s cold, and many prefer to stay indoors. This is great cuddling weather for online dating though.

Meeting South African women online

Tinder is the most popular dating app in South Africa. Plus, Bumble is decent in Cape Town. Desktop-based apps like Zoosk used to be more popular.

With online dating, it can sometimes happen that a girl will come directly to your place. You have to ask and find out. Worst case is she’ll tell you to meet in public first for a drink. Moreover, you could suggest the girl drive to your neighborhood, instead of going to her. Especially since you probably won’t have a car if you’re a tourist.

Girls often, but not always, stop short of having sex. For example, she’ll jerk you off, or potentially even go down on you, but penetrative sex is something a lot of South African white girls love to postpone beyond the first date. You may ask why… Its a local cultural thing due to fear of being slut-shamed. Plus, it’s not seen as sex. Thus, it’s something the girl can do with many guys, without the social shaming repercussions if someone found out she had penetrative sex. Other South African races e.g. Colored, Indian and Black girls care less about this and will go all the way on the first date.

Find central accommodation in the cities (e.g. Cape Town), as it’ll give you better logistics. Thus, it’s easier to organize a date or hookup. This is also helpful with a night game.

Red Flags

  • South Africa can be a dangerous place, thus be very safety aware like the locals, and follow necessary precautions.
  • Be careful of girls who may try to extort money from you after sex (e.g. she can secretly be a prostitute). Make sure her intentions are purely romantic (and not financial). Go for the normal educated girls instead.
  • According to my wing who dates a lot of black girls, some of them are gold diggers. Thus he makes sure, before they meet, that she will pay her share of the bill. However, he mentions that if the girl is a student, he’s willing to pay the full bill.
  • Stay away if the girl wants you to visit her in a dangerous neighborhood. Similarly, low-class girls could also rob you in your own house.
  • Be extra wary of girls who would have sex without a condom on the first date. In a first-world country, you wouldn’t necessarily think as much of this, but in Africa, it’s a red flag.
  • On online dating apps, local syndicates create fake profiles. Then, they try to fool you into sending them nude selfies, for example, by first sending you a fake naked photo of the girl you “matched” with. If you fall for this scam, you’ll be coerced afterward to send them money. Otherwise, they’ll send your naked photos to your family or upload them to websites.


In South Africa, if you know where to look, you’ll meet some of the hottest girls in the world. Still, it’s harder than in the first world where you can simply leave your house and see hot girls everywhere. There is less density of hot women in SA. However, many girls are still very feminine (thus not as poisoned by feminism). It’s a relatively friendly country, with sunshine, sea, and mountains. If you approach in a decent and calibrated way, the girls are not likely to bite you.

South African women are not the most difficult in the world. But, seduction can be harder than e.g. Europe, since many good-looking girls are less conditioned to have sex on the first date. Thus, if you want to go for the hottest girls, bring your best game along.

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