After living abroad for many years, specifically in countries like Brazil, Colombia, Russia and Ukraine (and others), you can always tell an American guy apart from everyone else. He just stands out like a sore thumb.
Yes, there are the typical visual hints: the goofy clothes, an oversized t-shirt or a non-fitted shirt, the Nike or New Balance running shoes and the baggy jeans.
But even if you look past their lack of fashion sense, there’s another factor that immediately makes them stand out: their neck. It’s always moving around, busily scanning everything around them, the buildings, the sights, and—especially the women. Yes, the women.
Last week, I met an American guy at my gym. It was his first time there. I introduced myself and after five minutes of small talk, he immediately began talking about the women in the gym. (There were about 20 people in the gym, half men and half women.)
While I’ve talked before how Ukrainian women are extremely sexy and feminine, most of the Ukrainian guys present were completely oblivious to the women present, preferring to focus on their own exercises. However, the American guy felt like a kid in the candy store.
Ukrainian men are strange. Many say they’re the luckiest men in the world and even spoiled, constantly surrounded by gorgeous women, but they simply don’t care. I don’t know of any Ukrainian “PUA’s,” and I certainly have never seen of some Ukrainian guy running after a Ukrainian woman so he can approach her like some American PUA busily approaching women on the streets of NYC.
For many years, I wondered why that is. Do Ukrainian men know something that American men don’t? Or are they just shy and unwilling to face rejection? Or is it something else?
But then it hit me: the problem isn’t Ukrainian men; the problem is with American men. American men are the problem. They are the problem for constantly chasing women, putting them on the pedestal, making them feel special as though they’re made of gold because they happen to be women (or because they saw some protagonist do that in a Hollywood movie.)
This becomes super obvious whenever I return to the US and my old hometown of New York. Everywhere I go, all I see are thirsty guys to the point that I can’t even imagine grabbing a bunch of guys and enjoying a quiet evening in a bar or a nice restaurant: they will be busy scanning the room every time an attractive woman enters.
On the other hand, Ukrainian (and Russian, and pretty much all Eastern Europeans) are simply indifferent to the attractive women around them. They’re surrounded by ultra-feminine women all day, every day, but they’re going about business, it’s almost like these women don’t exist. Of course, they have game and know how to seduce their own kind, but there’s a place and time for that.
The problem with American men—and, really, all Western men—is that they give too much validation to women. A typical Ukrainian guy values his time and attention with any woman, whether it’s a new woman, his lover or his wife. Most of the time he’s busy on his purpose (e.g., building a business), spending time with his friends or enjoying his time alone. But a typical American guy worships the woman. He does what she asks, and gives her an unlimited time and attention. Sure, he (hopefully) receives sex in exchange, but no pussy in the world is worth a man’s unlimited attention—attention that is almost worth nothing.
Women, obviously, love this attention since it’s their main currency that they crave and receive from the environment. The more attention you provide to the woman, the more she realizes that you have nothing else going on in your life and the more her respect for you drops. No woman wants a man who’s entirely smitten by her and has lost sight of everything else. Ultimately, validation to a woman is like sex to a man.
There are direct and indirect forms of validation. An example of direct validation would be complimenting a woman. An indirect form of validation is spending time with a woman. That is why when you compliment and spend lots of time with a woman (not including sex) you’re basically transmitting that this particular woman is so important in your life that everything else—including your mission and purpose and even your male friends—takes a backseat.
A high-value man would never do that. He’s too busy building his empire and slaying the dragons to spend an unlimited time with his woman (never mind a random fling). He rations his time while always providing masculine support and backbone as part of the relationship. Ukrainian men typically don’t provide unlimited time and attention, but American men think that’s what all women want. The problem is that once they’ve received this validation from a man, they’ve conquered that man and are already busy seeking their new target (or at least have lost a massive amount of sexual attraction).
Validation is what women crave, and when you ration it, you keep a woman chasing you and, therefore, attracted to you.
But the problem isn’t validation all by itself, the problem is that Americans (and Canadians, Australians, British, etc) are living in a feminized universe where masculinity and, consequently, male/female relationships is dictated by Hollywood movies and other propaganda and not by biology and evolution.
That’s why as a Western man, you need a bit of reprogramming. Some call this “red pill,” but I simply call it for what it is, incorrect understanding of how the world really works. Hell, Ukraine and Russia are pretty much as red pill as they come, and, after over 5 years of seducing and building relationships with ultra feminine but also ultra cutthroat women has certainly taught me a thing or two about masculinity, dating, and what women really want.