American Dating Culture: How To Meet And Attract American Women


One of the recurring themes on this blog besides travel is American dating. I’ve written lots on this subject. After all, I’m a single man who just happens to like women. Since I was also born and partly raised in Eastern Europe where dating is actually a very pleasant experience, I always knew—and didn’t just have a gut feeling—that something about dating in America was off.

My dilemma was that I could never rationally understand why dating is so confusing and complicated in America. Lots of explanations are given by lots of people, but none of them truly explain the whole story. One of the most popular explanations is that the American women are somehow “masculine,” but the meaning of the word is rather foggy.

If, by “masculine,” one means that American women can be tough and ball busting, then I can introduce you to plenty of Russian women who are just as tough and ball-busting. Southern European cultures have pretty tough and “masculine” women; the stereotypical traditional Italian wife, for example, is very  “tough” and “ball-busting” as demonstrated by her ability to run the house hold and even control her tough Italian husband. The explanation that American women are “masculine” was way too simplistic and not good enough. There was something more to it.

On my recent trip to New York, I had some free time and decided to use it go out to bars and meet women. My goal wasn’t to score. I had absolutely zero expectations. I wanted to put American dating under the microscope and study it like a scientist who studies microorganisms in his science lab.

So, I forced myself to forget everything that I thought I knew about American women and dating in order to learn and relearn everything from the ground up. I can say that I finally grasped the reasons that are responsible for making American dating culture so complex and so radically different from pretty much dating in any other country. And these reasons have less to do with American women specifically than with American culture as a whole.

The culture of endless discussion and debate

One thing that I didn’t notice before and only noticed now is that American culture is based on endless and endless talks, discussions and debates. Turn on the TV and you’ll be greeted by talk show after talk show consisting of people discussing all kinds of things. If it’s a news program, then the endless talk will about current events. If it’s a political talk show, then they’ll discuss politics, economics or foreign policy to death. If it’s one of those “lifestyle” programs like Oprah Winfrey’s, then the talk will about things pertaining to your life: how to date, how to shop, how to lose weight, how to get a man. People are constantly discussing pretty much everything under the sun.

As a result of this information overload, most women you meet in America have already formed various opinions on a wide range of issues. I’ve met girls who had an opinion on subjects ranging from the efficacy of Western sanctions on Russia, the best way to fight ISIS, to ways of obtaining Federal government funding for social services, ways of cutting Federal funding for social services, the best way to answer when a guy calls and reschedules, etc., etc.

A person’s opinion can be strong, weak, or somewhere in between. One thing is always for sure: when you have an opinion, you’ll always want to defend it; you’ll want to prove to others that your opinion is correct and someone else’s opinion is wrong. This naturally leads to people wanting to endlessly discuss all kinds of topics (how many times have you heard the pseudo-expression “let’s keep an open dialogue”?). And that opens the door for more and more discussions.

Flirting vs. formally discussing sexual topics

One night I had a date with a cute 29-year-old American girl. It was our second date. I knew that she liked me. I first eased into “safe” and boring topics like work and travel. At some point we began talking about dating and she told me a story about her feminist friend who’s doing a PhD on “cat calling.” I used that opportunity to ease further into other sexual topics.

There’s a huge difference between flirting and merely discussing sexual topics. And if there’s one thing I hate it’s talking about sex with someone on such a politically correct level that it feels like we’re discussing America’s foreign policy. It’s just crass. It shouldn’t be done. But that’s exactly what we were doing. We were sitting across from each other, drinking beers and openly discussing various sexual topics. She took the discussion seriously as though it was some kind of college debate.

Of course I would’ve preferred real, authentic flirting, but that just wasn’t an option. The girl was strongly into the discussion, so I had to keep chugging along, listening to her viewpoints and, in exchange, share with her my own opinions. It felt completely unnatural to drop the discussion and transition into emotional flirting. I couldn’t force her to flirt: I couldn’t force her to do what she wasn’t comfortable doing.

Knowing that I couldn’t physically escalate just yet, I decided to move the discussions into other sexual topics. I mentioned how I don’t believe in not having sex before marriage because I view sex as a fundamental part of any relationship (I mentioned at least 50%). I also mentioned that if you didn’t have mind-blowing sex, you are greatly missing out. Again, I expected her to get a little uncomfortable, but, to my surprise, she boldly began sharing her opinions on this subject as thought she had discussed exactly this topic countless times before.

So, what’s the problem, you may ask? It’s the fact that I wanted to genuinely flirt—flirt without all the politically correct bullshit on subjects that have already been discussed ad naseum—but I couldn’t. I simply had no other choice but to convert my series of irrational emotions that are typically employed during flirting into a rational politically correct discussion.

Flirting should be automatic

In pretty much all countries around the world flirting is automatic. In Brazil it’s automatic. In Colombia it’s automatic. In Russia it’s automatic. Flirting is sensual, emotional and imaginative. It’s the natural outcome of what happens when two people who are attracted to each other meet and display this attraction to each other. It’s a sexually-charged private conversation between two adults, not a watered-down public discussion that’s designed to be displayed to the entire country on a morning talk show. That’s what makes flirting special. That’s why you go out to a bar or a club after a hard day’s work: to let your rational mind take a break and enjoy an emotional conversation with a beautiful woman who you want to take home—and who wants to be seduced and taken home by you as well.

Can you imagine sitting across the table at a bar from a sexy Brazilian/Colombian/Russian girl and having a rather serious and formal conversation about some sexual topic? Of course not. You’re a man. She’s a woman. It’s been established that you both like each other. You’re not on some public talk show on primetime TV. So, why keep it politically correct and continue discussing the pros and cons of some mundane topic?

After mutual interest is established, the next step is to immediately move onto more interesting and physical things. Not in America. In America, you don’t get out of this discussion phase. Discussion is more or less a permanent mode of exchanging your thoughts and ideas with a person whom you don’t yet know well.

Trying to get through the wall

One of the reasons why you never cross this invisible wall that separates a rational discussion and irrational flirting is because of insecurity. Genuine flirting is emotional. It’s spontaneous. It’s also risky. It requires a certain level of confidence and self-esteem. There’s no prewritten script for flirting. On the other hand, a discussion about generally accepted things isn’t risky and therefore doesn’t require much confidence.

If you have a set of opinions, opinions that have already been validated by talking to lots of other people (or because you’ve already witnessed other people on TV having these opinions), then you have a certain level of confidence that your opinions are correct. You have no problems sharing those opinions with others.

It’s much less risky and requires much less confidence to merely discuss why mind-blowing sex is an important component of any healthy relationship because you’ve already discussed it with others or heard it discussed on TV than to demonstrate your emotional interest in the other person—real spontaneous interest, interest that can be easily rejected by the other person.

This reminded me of a time when I went out with a friend in New York few years ago. My friend is tall, confident and has absolutely no problems with women. He immediately approached two girls sitting at a bar. Half an hour later we were all comfortably seated at a table and discussing various sexual and relationship topics such as whether it’s okay for a woman to cheat on her husband if he gives her implicit consent. We also discussed how many sexual partners we had and similar topics.

The women were more than prepared for such topics of discussion. None of the women even blushed, so it wasn’t the first time that they were having such intimate discussion with a couple of guys they had just met in a bar. They were battle hardened.

That night at the bar resembled one of those “roundtable” discussions you see on an American Sunday morning political show such as Meet The Press. It was as exciting as watching the Senate debate an appropriations bill. We all took turns contributing to the debate by adding our own thoughts and opinions. Talking about strong sexual topics in a discussion format is just too crass. It just shouldn’t be done. Politically correct discussions about sexual topics destroy all shreds of any potential sexual chemistry.

Incidentally, I met my friend at the bar after I had just returned from Colombia, where I routinely had the time of my life going out and shamelessly flirting with very sexy and flirtatious women. To say that I felt like an alien who landed on another planet in that New York bar would be a huge understatement.

None of it matters in the end

The second major issue with American dating is that it doesn’t matter in the end. What doesn’t matter? The whole dating thing: building attraction, following up, seeing her again, etc. Dating doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter because the expectations are almost nonexistent. And that’s due to the inherent structure of American society and culture.

American culture is about slaving really hard, making money—and commoditizing everything else that gets in the way. People are constantly on the go and barely have enough time to even send quick messages to each other. No one has time for an in-depth face-to-face conversation anymore. Dating is a commodity.

On top of that, today’s American woman has endless options when it comes to meeting and seeing new men. It’s common for a girl to go on several dates a week. I’ve been on my share of dates where I would discretely notice the woman’s smartphone receiving a new message while she was talking to me.

This greatly affects the dating dynamic for two main reasons. First, if you have a million options, you won’t be treasuring that upcoming Tuesday night date with the guy who approached you last Friday. You certainly won’t be expecting to meet your “prince charming” or “get swept of your feet.” Every date becomes an ordinary event, like brushing your teeth in the morning or taking a dump in the evening. Going on a new date is like going to a new restaurant: even if the service or the food sucks, you’ll just go to a new restaurant tomorrow. And since there are thousands of other restaurants you can be super picky.

She just doesn’t need a man in her life

The second issue why dating no longer matters is more psychological. Most American women simply don’t require a serious relationship. They don’t need a permanent company of a man. Their environment and lives are structured in such a way that it’s okay to never marry and have children. This is not my opinion: that’s really what they want. And when the woman isn’t looking for a serious relationship, then each date and its outcome loses its meaning and purpose.

If the woman isn’t looking to settle down or get married in the near future, then do you really think she’d put much effort into the date she’s having with you now at the bar? Probably not. She’ll enjoy the date but won’t really go the extra mile to impress you in any way.

That explains why one of my good friends is having such a rough time navigating the dating scene in San Francisco—an ultraliberal city with super independent women. (I’ve lived there for many years and never plan to return.)

For a while, he was going out with a 33-year-old woman. Things didn’t work out because she suddenly decided to “start her life over” and move to Europe. Then he began going out with a 37-year-old Americanized Russian woman. After several months things cooled down, became awkward, and she eventually told him that “she is not ready to settle down.”

It’s possible that my friend has no game with women. But such thinking just reinforces your prejudices. My friend shouldn’t need great game to be with an average girl who’s in the same league as him. He doesn’t need to be rich or look like Brad Pitt. Being a capable man with a decent job should be enough—unless, of course, you live in a society where people never ever plan to settle down and going on dates becomes nothing more than a routine hobby with zero expectations.

Where else in the world can a 37-year-old woman be this carefree and picky? I’m talking about a woman in her mid-late-30s, not some 22-year-old girl who’s just starting her life and doesn’t care about a serious relationship.

Freedom and independence

Now, I understand that a woman wants her freedom and independence. I understand that she wants to pursue her career and build her own professional life. I understand that she doesn’t require the company of a man. I also understand she doesn’t want to settle down. I get all that. I don’t live in the stone age. That’s perfectly fine with me. I’m not arguing against any of that.

My point is that if the culture is structured in such a way that it’s no longer necessary to settle down and build something meaningful with another person, then a woman naturally won’t make much effort on the actual dates as compared to if she had been living in a culture where serious relationships are strongly sought after.

If—before she ever goes on the date—the woman already knows that she doesn’t want to settle down, get married and have children in the next ten years, then the whole expectations will be very different. She would show up on the date, have a few drinks, exchange a few flirts. She might invite the guy back to her place. Or she might not. But there’re absolutely no expectations of seeing the guy again and building anything meaningful.

This is radically different in cultures that are structured around building strong human relationships. In Latin America and Eastern Europe (mostly everywhere outside the West), it’s fully expected that something will actually come out of the initial date. The woman actually wants to be in a stable relationship. The woman wants to have a man by her side.

I’ve gone on dates in Eastern Europe and Latin America where—if there was mutual interest—women had certain expectations that we’ll see each other again. Dating wasn’t just a hobby to pass the time. Dating was serious business.

The culture was less about quick dates and short flings and more about building something more substantial. Naturally, in such cultures, the girl and guy would put more effort into the relationship. When you commoditize dating, you inevitably force both parties to adapt very low expectations when meeting new people. People become mere commodities.

Frustrating and pointless by design

All of this makes American dating nothing more than a circus. Whole forests have been up razed and turned into endless stacks of paper that hold all the advice and information, all the tips and tricks to enable you to have a “successful” dating life, but in the end none of it matters. It’s a structural problem. It’s like to trying to make a phone call in an area with no cellular service. Yes, you have a perfectly working phone. Yes, it’s fully charged. But there’s no cellular service. And that means you can’t make a phone call.

The word “dating” lost its meaning from the original. It no longer means the same thing as it did fifty, twenty or even ten years ago. For dating to actually start to mean something substantial, the entire American culture must change, and that means our whole society along with our entire political and economic systems must be altered in some radical ways.

American dating is a frustrating exercise in futility. It’s about going through predictable motions: showing up; meeting the girl; debating various politically correct topics that have already been debated to death countless times; having a few drinks and then leaving with absolutely zero future expectations.

It’s frustrating and pointless precisely because it’s designed to be frustrating and pointless from the ground up. That’s what happens when you live  in a culture that not only fails to inspire people to create long-lasting human relationships, but instead works in the exact opposite direction by discouraging you—and failing that—punishes you dearly from even attempting to try.

Looking for more inspiration? Check out:


Jason Borne March 10, 2015 - 10:17 am

Great breakdown, man. What do you think about dating American women in other countries. Do they adapt to foreign cultures or not?

Mike42night April 26, 2016 - 4:59 pm

US: Cold, aloof, alpha game
South America: Warm, sensual, alpha game

Rob March 10, 2015 - 10:19 am

Damn that’s a serious post. Just finished reading it. I’ll have to leave a comment a bit later. Still processing information.

Brasileiro March 10, 2015 - 10:21 am

I spent many years living in America (I’m Brazilian). Usually had no problems with the ladies, but it’s a real mess with all the games they play. Maybe they act different to foreigners, like Brazilians?

Anyway, I’m now back in my own country and love my own women! 😉

Ramon Carlos March 10, 2015 - 10:23 am

I like American ladies from Texas. Real sweet hearts. But I agree with you there that they dont know how to flirt. They play endless games and all that. I guess over time you get used to it and it starts bothering you less.

I still love and prefer Latin women much more.

Jeremy March 10, 2015 - 11:05 am

This is excellent work. I’m guessing a more precise way of saying what you’re saying is that sexual tension was an “undesirable” thing in the west, and so it was taken out of the culture. Sexual tension used to be far far more pervasive in the west, but ultimately it was deemed bad for a mixed-sex working environment, political environment, etc..etc… so it was forcibly removed. The only way to get that back is to effectively reverse a lot of what’s gone on in society at large and let sexual tension find its way back into the culture. I agree with that, and I hadn’t considered that specifically.

unorthodox March 10, 2015 - 11:12 am

Thank you for this post.
This is something I have been struggling with for a while.
I also feel it is the exact same way here in Australia.
And then there are dating apps like tinder which multiply this effect 10 fold.
Many of the dates I have been having lately seem to be falling into this trap. I.e. Endless conversation inevitably leaving you with this hollow emotionless feeling by the time it comes to an end.
I know I want more.

Avillax March 10, 2015 - 11:34 am

Shit, it is so true. American women just get too much attention to the point that it is pointless, they don’t even work on their personality anymore. I’m living in Prague right now and it is not like that, life is easy going, nobody wants to have that much money to the point of working and having no leisure time and finally, all the women are beautiful so there are hardly spoiled ones.

Your topic, and this other topic completely settled the score for me:

Avillax March 10, 2015 - 11:54 am

For that who asked, American women in other countries fare not as good. In Mexico they do very well because Mexicans are just as needy and share many cultural traits with Americans, Mexican women are also hard to get assets and like to wait until marriage to have sex so American girls are seen as fast sex, but of course they get super ego boost from the same attention they get in the States.

In Europe they have difficult times, they can’t compete in terms of looks and guys are not used to putting up to their shit so they get ignored. I once went to a speed dating event in Prague, half of the women were Americans and fat and some of them were even self-conscious in the event, I don’t think they got any luck, speed dating in America is only for crippled old women, but in Europe everybody does it, so guys are not needy to date American women, I’ve heard American women saying they hate it here.

Pk1 March 10, 2015 - 12:48 pm

The problem is not the girls. I lived in Hollywood, Rio de Janeiro and I am now in Buenos Aires. And been to other countries including England, Colombia, Cuba and so on. Girls in Hollywood and the US are the same around the world except for Cuba

Modern Life Dating January 9, 2017 - 7:40 pm

You are absolutely wrong. There is so much compounding evidence that proves that they are the worst for dating it is unbelievable. Love is dead in the USA and feminism killed it.

Gilbert Cureau July 4, 2017 - 5:16 am

Truer words could not have been spoken.

Tom March 10, 2015 - 1:04 pm

I don’t know guys, I been living in Prague for a while and feel like its becoming like in the West.I am from Slovakia so been raised around Eastern Europe.So many independent Czech women willing just to talk,talk,talk and nothing serious happening or just fuck and no plans for relationship.No wonder then they are in their 30’s and still single. I see dark future in this respect.

Lee March 10, 2015 - 2:20 pm

Great point Maverick. As much flak as American women get in the manosphere and in dating, we seem to overlook the structural and cultural problems in America which created all this.

Evening in Canada, this is becoming a problem. I live in Vancouver, a city known for fickleness and very picky women. This seems strange, because there are many fit, good looking men with good jobs / incomes in the city. Part of the problem has to do with an over-abundance of options.

After gaming day and night hard for the past 3 years, going on countless dates and having short hookups, I finally found a girl who was “girlfriend material.” A girl who is feminine, shy, intelligent, not argumentative, doesn’t play many games and values a solid relationship with depth. Here’s the kicker – she is from Europe and I met her the second week she was in the country. Not saying that American/Canadian women like this can’t be found, it’s just much harder and rare like a unicorn.

John Crane March 10, 2015 - 2:39 pm

Fantastic post. One of the most complete breakdowns I’ve read in a long time, if not ever. Like the poster above said, guys are quick to blame American women for all problems of the world. But is that the right approach? What about digging deep and discovering what made the women this way?

Blaming American women also means blaming all the American guys’ mothers. That doesn’t seem to make much sense to me.

I’m glad you sat down and tackled these issues. Very quality post.

Modern Life Dating January 9, 2017 - 7:43 pm

feminism is the culprit once you look into it.

pbw March 10, 2015 - 9:29 pm

Another interesting post. I am from Toronto and it is even a lot worse here as other have also mentioned. Canadian women are a lot more difficult -over masculine and a big victim chip. What I see however is that especially Canadian men — and likely American men have been so pussified by feminism and gay culture — they are filled with inner contradictions and lack any congruence. They are afraid to be masculine and assertive. Latest stats show that over 55% of men between 20 – 35 years of age are not married — and over 60% of men from 36- 55 are single. The trend is only increasing. The future looks bleak. Traditional women are marriage is now pretty well finished with. A new paradigm must emerge and it is men who must create it. Slowly it is happening as more men groups are becoming more vocal and active. Women have changed their inner paradigm as the culture and economy allowed it — but the same culture put the burden on men – and so far has oppressed men from also changing. A new man must emerge with a new paradigm — that allowed the same economic and cultural freedom that women have had. Men must find that inner congruence and balance without women.

Mike P. March 11, 2015 - 2:51 am

Fantastic article! You really nailed down what I’ve been thinking all this time.

superslaviswife March 11, 2015 - 10:20 am

As an aside, rational debate does seem to help some couples. It helped Jon and I, for example. But there are differences between the debate that bonded us and the debate that your American dates engaged in. The first main difference I detect is the intimacy of our discussions: we were at home, on the phone to each other, or sat next-to each other, or exchanging emails, not in a restaurant or an open forum. The other is the topics. You mention clinically clean, politically correct topics. When talking, we would happily delve into territories that weren’t PC, that we disagreed on or that we hadn’t even explored, do research and find a conclusion or an answer together. Sometimes it was serious and cold, sometimes it was light, jokey and fun, but we would gladly realign our perspectives with new information and tackle controversial and heated topics.

I’m sure you can find out how and why this works for some and I will probably find it out and write about it myself in the future, but when it comes to social matters, an experience is worth a hundred theories and maybe even a tenth of a study. So at least you have more data to work with.

Jraw March 11, 2015 - 5:02 pm

Excellent post Maverick.

I’ve noticed this global spread of American dating culture here in Vancouver. Vancouver has a large presence of international students populated in the city centre. They all came to enroll in English language schools.

Obviously, these are the kids of wealthy families back in their respective Latin American countries. All the patrinchas, the fresas, rich Colombianas. Even Europeans.

Everything from cold approaches, to idates and meetups – most of these rich South American girls in their early to mid twenties have told me they don’t want a serious relationship. They need their freedom, independence, career, and male attention.

Symptoms of years and years of input from American popular culture/dating back at home. They’ve expressed they don’t need a man in their life. They’re ego is satisfied by hundreds of FB and Instagram Likes.

I’ve also had experience with latinas (also Russians) in their mid twenties to early thirties, who’ve more or less, expressed the same opinions as your post. They’re not concerned about settling down or their ticking biological clocks. Its sad to see. Sad to see them at their sexual prime gone to waste. Obviously, there are exceptions. I’ve also met many rich Brazilian, Mexican and Colombian woman who seek long term fulfilling relationships. Though they usually have their man back home or came with their fiances.

Its sad to see how deeply Western dating culture has penetrated South American and European societies (particularly the rich). Sometimes, I can’t help but think and stare at the gorgeous Brazilian/Mexican/Colombian texting on her smartphone in front of me as being no different from a North American woman. The only thing that distinguishes her from America/Canadian woman is her foreign passport.

rebirth March 12, 2015 - 8:21 am

Great post.

But I’m going to add one thing.

Americans in general are INCREDIBLY INSECURE. Men and women.

And because they’re so insecure, they put up a false front of uber confidence and swagger that I can see through for the pathetic house of cards it’s built upon.

sluggo August 20, 2015 - 11:39 am

Good point! Insecurity has sabotaged so many relationships I’ve been involved in it’s not funny. Instead of taking things at face value like they should, insecure people think there’s an agenda behind anything you are less than concise about, when in reality you just left out some detail so you weren’t being long winded and wanted to keep the conversation flowing.

Insecure people NEVER give you the benefit of the doubt and make their decisions on incomplete facts. The last girl I was dating called it off because I was “hot and cold” and “emotionally unavailable” because 1 (one!) day went by that I didn’t sit there and text her all day.

I just had a busy day at work. To her I must be texting someone else or an ex if I’m not texting her all the time.

Insecurity is a serious character flaw, so she was really doing me a favor, but there are a lot of people like that. It’s sad. Instead of enjoying each other’s company, they worry and it destroys them from the inside out.

My Name June 2, 2019 - 6:48 pm

There’re also looking for any excuse to label themselves a victim and to call the cops on you. They’re all suffering from media-induced paranoia. American women honestly think that the majority of men are murders and/or rapists. They’re so far out of touch with reality that there’s almost no way to talk to them or relate to them as fully functioning human beings. Just forget them, wholesale. Asian girls are better-educated, smarter, kinder, better in bed and a pleasure to be around. If you’re in a big city, even in America, there’s really no reason to even acknowledge that American women exist. That’s the best dating advice any American man can internalize.

Adam March 12, 2015 - 9:36 am

I’ve never had issues with American women, I usually kill when I’m in the country. Sounds like you just don’t like smart, opinionated women. This idea of rating woman based on “leagues” and “looks”. Fuck bro, they’re people and they’re not dating you because they can see through your bullshit. That’s the first thing I had to drop when I started travelling and dating different women. Seriously, if you actually took a second to listen and thoughtfully discussed topics outside of getting in a woman’s pants, you’d actually be in the woman’s pants.

Shawn Meremikwu March 6, 2019 - 11:19 pm

Found the woman disguised as a man.

Vosges98 April 16, 2019 - 12:08 am

Wow. A man stands up to other men (in defense of women), and you call him a woman in a man’s skin? Talk about misogynistic. As an American woman, I agree with all the major points in this article related to culture issues that negatively impact dating. I also agree that Americans are generally very insecure and this is a major disadvantage when looking for a partner. But I would like to point out that Americans are extremely judgmental and resistant to seeing life from another person’s perspective. Women have had a hard lot on this planet for the last 5000 years, and as soon as they get some liberation from this oppression (i.e. can actually get jobs and support themselves), the men all over the world go crazy because they can no longer keep women under their thumb. Well, what about just changing your view and being willing to see women as equal (but different) humans? Men might be surprised at what happens to their dating lives if they dared to treat an American woman on a first date with respect as an equal, simply by asking what she wanted. If you were going to do business with a man, you would ask what he wanted, would you not? For example, ask her if she is more comfortable with you paying or splitting the check 50/50. Just ask! Women have different views on this. There is no right or wrong view. It is the respect and consideration that matters to women. Offer to take her coat and pull out her chair. If she declines, don’t be offended. The goal is to communicate to her that she has value and her comfort and good feelings matter to you. If you don’t show that you care or respect her, her liberated self will leave you in the dust. Who wants a relationship with that? We are 21st century women. We still want men – but we no longer need to have them in our lives for us to eat food – so we don’t put up with their selfish BS like in the past. Deal with it. Chivalry is not dead, but selfish, arrogant, emotionally unavailable, controlling and violent white men are losing their stranglehold on the world. We would rather be alone than be with those types – and now we can afford it.

Confident modern Indian girl May 15, 2019 - 10:23 pm

Agreed!! The whole post is here is so gender-biased. I am an indian women recently relocated to US and I might have written this article totally from my point of view. I get extremely discouraged to date and gradually come to a conclusion that it’s a waste of time – given that guys just want to fuck without any though to building something more concrete in future!

rebirth March 12, 2015 - 10:35 am

Typical American.

Scott March 12, 2015 - 11:26 am

This is why I stopped dating American women and why I only date foreign women from Latin America and Eastern Europe.

Avillax March 16, 2015 - 7:00 pm

This comment goes to Tom:

I think you’re misunderstanding the situation in Czech Republic. Girls here don’t want to marry and divorce rates are almost 60% and I’ve asked my female friends here and the reason is that there are wide availability of options for dating/sex BUT the catch here is that these options are for Men and for Women. In other words, why would you want to marry? IMO people marry for any of these 3 reasons:

1. Puritanism and social pressure like the USA
2. Fear of ending up alone
3. Religious views.

In Czech Republic people don’t have any of this, they are not religious, they know they can get dates/sex anytime and there’s no social pressure or puritanism. Also if you get divorced here the women doesn’t get as many shit from you as they do in the USA, so if people are slightly unhappy they simply divorce.

I don’t see anything wrong with this and there’s absolutely no comparison with American women because women here don’t get 1/10 of the attention they get in the USA.

Example, I get on average 1 date per week just on the Conversation Exchange site alone, 50% of the time is girls who contact me.
It is supposed to be for language purposes, but once you meet your date, you realize she’s cute/hot and young and that she is looking for friends/dates and she’s bored with her life because she comes from a small town and is not viced and doesn’t get much attention from guys here. I invite her to dance Salsa, to amusement parks, to anything and they always say yes, I can do anything with them, the only inconvenience is that even though they are culturally rich and mature for their young age, in many occasions they have very limited social/sex/dating experience so you have to walk them through the process starting from scratch. But the question is, when would you ever find a woman like that in the USA? How could you even get dates so easily? it is not possible. Plus the beauty of Czech and Slavic girls is ethereal. So I’d suggest you change your dating style and start enjoying the pussy here.

Dorreh March 20, 2015 - 3:50 pm

very well written article, great points too, although i may want to discuss a basic item you haven’t treated well enough …

but first, you have mentioned, “… I always knew—and didn’t just have a gut feeling—that something about dating in America was off.”

well, having lived in the USA for long enough (exactly 15 years, a couple of days from today) i have come to find out about this: isn’t most other things “off” in America, especially the way the private sector management works for example? (i don’t want to get into the American politics and its lousy government here … let’s leave that for another time!)

now, back to your fine article and the item i said i like to talk about: you say American women don’t care much about dating, or rather, they may care about the dating itself but not much about ‘settling down’ really …

i hope i’ve got that right, right? and then you have given some examples too, although they are apparently about the new (or somewhat new) immigrant women here, those from Eastern Europe or Russia and even from the Far East or the Middle East and elsewhere, Africa and other places included … the type of immigrant women who come to the States or go to Europe to seek and enjoy a kind of freedom they did not quite have back in their own homelands … (i am an Iranian and i know very well how majority of young Iranian females getting out of that country and coming to the USA or going to other ‘free world’ nations, are actually fleeing the persecution and prison of their own birthplace … i also know how they are at least confused at first when they reach the free lands … and i don’t blame them either, although pretty soon they find out how wrongly they thought about the type of ‘sexual freedom’ they expected to have ‘outside’ of Iran … if you like to know about that, i’d be more than glad to discuss about it later, but to make it easy, their situation is just what i referred to earlier: they’re just like most other new immigrants to the West, both male as well as female: they want a freedom -and perhaps welfare- they don’t have in their own countries …)

well, in that case, i may say although i find you quite right in saying that, i’d also have to add that then maybe you don’t quite know the ‘original’ American woman, the typical Midlands (farmer type) American woman, who’s exactly the opposite of those you have dated in San Francisco for example! and believe me you, culturally, the majority of “original” American women are of the type i just mentioned, even if they were not born in a farmer family …

in fact, one major problem that bugs the majority of American women is the lack of good and loyal *husbands* to stay with them forever and have them pregnant (at least twice!) and start a family … (why most American men don’t do that these days, is also another topic to discuss later of course …) otherwise, the one-night-stand type of men are in abundance in the USA and there is no problem finding at least one every single night you go to a bar or a similar place …

Dorreh March 20, 2015 - 7:44 pm

And when the night comes – Jon & Vangelis

A women in your soul
Creates the man you hold

And when the night comes
When you relax with me
I’ll take you in my arms
I’ll make you dream

So just remember this
A kiss is just a kiss
A smile is just a smile, with you

Come to me, say you will
And like a storm I can help you feel
You must believe you hold the key
Come to me, say you will

You are divine, your body holds me tight
You can’t imagine [kiss so we’ll know … kiss … know who knows]

(Just you) I want you always
(Just you) I want you always
(Just you) I want you always

I want you always
I want you always
I want you always

A woman needs to love
A woman needs to live
A woman needs to feel alive

A woman needs her sex
A woman needs her sex
A woman needs …

Zurned March 22, 2015 - 5:00 pm

I agree with above poster about American girls being insecure. They are not comfortable with who they are as people (from my experiences at least). If you ask them a question as to why they like or dislike something, they will usually give you a very superficial answer. It’s almost like they are programmed to think and act a certain way. If you compare a 23 year old college grad in America versus 23 year old from Asia or Eastern Europe, the conversation with the Asian or Eastern European woman would likely be deeper in scope and much more honest. They would be able to explain the way they think and the way they feel about themselves honestly. An American girl likely would not be able to do that out of fear of being judged. I may be stereotyping, but I think in general, this has been my experiences. Just keep asking why why why and you will definitely notice a difference in thought patterns. American women kind of suck in comparison….that is depressing since I consider the U.S. my home, even though I am Chinese-American

Frohky March 24, 2015 - 2:13 am

The problem in America is very simple: liberalism has ruined the country. It is a dictatorship of moral relativity and political identity movements where there are no absolutes, not even of gender. Everything is neutral. If you have likes and dislikes, especially if you are white and male, you are racist, homophobic, sexist, and all sorts of other undesirable things. Liberals preach tolerance, but practice intolerance. Any thoughts which do not agree with their politically correct view of the universe must be censored and repressed. Therefore free speech technically doesn’t exist anymore here.

American women have ALL the choices now, thanks to the feminist identity movement. It used to be that men were expected to make the first move, which was the only advantage we ever had. One could approach a woman one did not know but wished to meet with a smile and a friendly hello, and proceed to flirting if the woman was interested. But to do so now is seen as sexual harassment, or, worse, stalking. So now we go on-line where there are 10,000 men for every woman on most dating sites. I quit playing this game years ago. Fortunately for us western men there remains the foreign option, as Maverick continues to point out with his helpful and informative posts. But even that is problematic, as the long arm of the American government in its never-ending quest for money continues to hound American taxpayers wherever they might choose to live, even if they never set foot in the country again.

JT April 12, 2015 - 9:05 pm

It seems to me that the dynamic described here applies to most relationships in the West — not just the romantic/sexual ones. People hang out. But are they really friends? Are our friendships just as cheap and disposable as our romatic relationships?

If so this issue isn’t about feminism, liberism or any other ism. Its about the way our culture is damaging our general ability to form relationships with other people regardless of gende. And if so, then I am just as much to blame as anyone else.

As a result I’ve decided to change a few things about myself. For example, no more flaking. If I get invited to something, I show. Even if I don’t really want to. I show.

Also I listen more. This is a lot more than just letting other people talk. It means giving a shit about who other people are. This one is harder because others often won’t reciprocate — at least not at first. But that’s ok, I’m just happy that I’m no longer part of the problem.

In one post there are at least 3 people from Van. We should find a way to get together sometime.

greg January 11, 2017 - 2:46 pm

read the book ‘pursuit of atttention’. its exactly what you are noticing JT but laid out bare. the book is before social media which makes it even more prescient.

mongoos May 12, 2015 - 3:49 pm

JT is either too young to understand frohky’s post, or he just doesn’t understand liberalism in general (is it really true that he’s no longer ‘part of the problem’?) The whole of western society has moved to the Left, and that is how our culture has damaged our ability to form relationships with other people. Maverick has explained this many times in various posts. There is another blog which goes into much greater detail on this subject:

David February 11, 2016 - 10:51 pm

As a Colombian man living in the United States, it is quite challenging to meet and date women who are so hell bent on being more like men and lamenting over what their role should be. A feminine Colombian woman let’s a man be a man and that is a lovely thing. Sexuality polarity is almost non existent here.

Martin Castillo March 12, 2016 - 11:32 pm

Great article man, I’ve been looking ibto this because right now I’m dating a sweetheart of an American girl by the name of Willow.
She is in exchange studies here and since she got here in Chile we’ve built a friendship relationship up until January this year. When I asked her to be my girlfriend. However I’ve noticed that she doesn’t really take it seriously, as if it’s just a game, and it sucks cause she is wonderful, and I feel as though when she goes back to Indiana she will forget about me, destroying every possibility of a long term investment.

Buddyboyo April 24, 2016 - 2:41 am

Here’s the difference and I’ve been to Europe enough times to identify what Maverick Traveler is experiencing. The reason why even “tough” and masculine females from Russia and Italy put on airs of being dominant at their heart is sexual energy. You’ll notice that the brawling vodka drinking foreign woman is actually expressing a type of playfulness beneath her outrageous claims of dominance. Within her heart is a cry for sex and even more importantly respect from a male hero. This means even the burly farm girls feel like refreshing, joyful personalities due to the feminine energy they shine. They know their role is to bear children with the help of a loyal man and admit they are scared, no terrified, of being disrespected and played by a non-loyal one. They actually care about the opinion of the man, rather than her friends. This is true feminine energy unclouded by social media one upmanship.

American women are more like cold mannequins who only decide to become semi-human for men that are worthy according to a list made by Hollywood and friends. Their feminine energy is rationed and the male’s opinion not even a consideration in her actions, all of her actions are justified by the TV, her job or the friends who support her every burp. Even when they are objectively pretty on the exterior they close off their feminine energy, particularly when it comes to the child-bearing variety. As they delay the pretenses of child-bearing they become fascinated with and terrified of any inclination towards casual sex since, much to her chagrin, that becomes her main purpose in the eyes of men. Most American females ascribe to the script that their actual desire should be to acquire the attentions of the most popular males around her with as little sex as possible. This is the implied social script that girls in America adopt that lends to the extreme behaviors and weird contrasts of prudishness and promiscuity in the same girl. The girl is allowed to be promiscuous with certain guys so long as he looks good and has a good family background and is of the right race, all other males are trash to be given the prude treatment as needed. So this leads to the constant denial of male sexual needs, the dismissive nature of the male sexual drive, the hatred of sexual talk, anger at the mention of casual sex, the 80/20 distribution of sex between men and on and on. American girls see themselves as providers of sex and acquirers of status but only from casual sex offers from males who pass her looks threshold. All other males should be extinguished in this status driven psychopathy.

Instead of thinking of their role as bearing children they believe their main role is gaining status, which obviously could go on forever. Because of this the American girl is careful never to give herself fully to any one person since a better man may be just around the corner. Also they learn that who they associate with matters more than that individual’s loyalty and leads to them sharing the same few elite men who frustrate them to no end. They aren’t as terrified of players and disloyal men as reproduction is basically paid for by the govt in the US. Russian women for instance have an eagle eye out for any hint that their man may be cheating on her. Instead American chicks are more terrified of being associated with unattractive men in any shape or form… and also an attractive man who may have any hint of possibly becoming ugly in the future, hence this explains the female’s fear of kinkiness even in mature relationships in the US. So they revere attractive men as gods and unattractive men as vermin. It’s a superficial, dismissive and noxious dichotomy they force on men in the US dating world. Narcissism was originally a male trait based on the knowledge of superiority (its female form is vanity) but when females adopt it they inhabit male characteristics of only focusing on looks and puffing themselves up at every turn. It’s unfeminine, robotic, lacks sweetness, emphasizes greed and puts undue emphasis on lust without the requisite desire to nurse allll men rather than just a few. Call it the picky prostitute syndrome. It’s also usually very random and could change on a moment’s notice by the whim of the female. Some females will even take their love of attractive men and hatred of unattractive men to extreme symbolic levels. These are the females who brag about using unattractive men for free restaurant meals while demonizing their physical attributes but also dramatize their guilt of sleeping with handsome males for free. It’s a strange bragfest that simultaneously paints the men as freaks and confirms herself as a bonafied member of the popular crowd at the same time. It is a perverse form of self congratulation. The American princess uses social media to finally reflect on her deeds as if to mine the Internet for some recognition of accomplishment, as if her entire goal was to be a recognized as a gatekeeper of sex, a filter of class, and a model of genetic superiority. But a double take of her actions seen from a purely behavioral standpoint makes her no better than a pornstar paid in free meals. This is why American men find dating so stiff, unfriendly and punishing. Women deliberately put a chill on the conversation as they consider themselves, as casual sex providers, the most important quantity in the room and want to dictate terms from the start. So as a male if you’re not handsomely enough to star in a potato chip commercial and the American Princess hates sex that night you best keep the conversation to Barney the Dinosaur level knock knock jokes or your doom awaits…

Brian Mark May 4, 2016 - 6:18 pm

One of the best articles you ever wrote. Come back and join the dating hell.

David May 30, 2016 - 12:05 pm

To make things worse, Maverick, 70% of US women are overweight. So 100% of men are vying for just a few chicks in the bar. Those girls can see he attention they get. Also, women get a lot of their social and self esteem based needs met from social media. Is there any logical reason why an overweight 6 has 1000 followers on instagram?? I cant tell you how many times Im in a conversation with a girl ignoring me while shes uploading selfies.

Five years ago I stopped dating white women. I realize now it was like dating a competitor. Sex was a gift for good behavior. And in 27 years, a white woman never told me I was handsome. Complements from a white woman were like reluctant, backhanded half insults. I dont need to be showered with praise, but when I dated a latina from Mexico for the first time, I felt like a real man. Now I live in San Diego and only approach latin or asian girls. Always a better experience.

Looking forward to moving to Latin America within a couple years.

James Maverick May 31, 2016 - 5:55 am

Good insight here, David. This is definately a problem in America.

AD October 30, 2016 - 8:51 pm

About 15 years ago, when I was in my early thirties, I was living in Boulder CO, a city of mostly young financially successful people with lots of social life. It seems like it would be an easy place to date, but it isn’t. There are more men there than women and the women are extremely picky. They want a hot guy who is rich and will bend over backwards for them. In addition to the shortage of women, quite a few of them were lesbians. Lesbians in Boulder dress, look and act like supermodels. Don’t let them fool you. They are sarcastic, condescending and rude when men approach them. Trying to date there made me miserable, so I just stopped. It is only for the thickest skinned men. I watched a good friend of mine beat the pavement for almost ten years in Boulder before settling for a woman who he wasn’t very interested in.

One night when I lived there, I was over at a friend’s house. There were about ten people there drinking beer and hanging out. The women were in the kitchen and the men were on the patio. I was feeling somewhat depressed that night about the dating situation for some reason. I didn’t know most of the people there, but I looked in through the window at the women in the kitchen. There was this one woman who seemed very noticeably different than the rest. She had facial expressions I had never seen before. She had an air of confidence that was so amazing to me. She was not a beautiful woman, but she seemed extremely sexy to me for some reason. There was some kind of genuine quality about her that seemed so natural and not superficial at all.

While we were sitting out there on the patio I wanted to ask the rest of them if they had trouble dating, but I was reluctant because it isn’t normal for men to ask other men for dating advice. It is perceived as non-masculine and weak. But I still wanted to know if any of them had noticed it too. So I just brought it up, thinking one of them might ridicule me for saying it. But one of the guys spoke up right away and said, “It isn’t you man. It’s the United States. Americans are sexually repressed. This is the worst place in the world to date. Women here have no respect for men at all. If you want to meet a woman worth dating you need to get out of the US.”

I said, “Really? You think so?” I had never been out of the US at that time and I figured human females were pretty much the same no matter you went.

He said, “Hell yeah! You need to get out of this country. The US will destroy a man’s mind.” Then he walked over to the patio door and looked in toward the kitchen and said, “See that woman right there?”, pointing directly at the woman I had noticed only minutes earlier.

I said, “Yeah”.

He said, “That’s my wife. She’s awesome. I met her in Brazil. There are women like that all over the world, quite a few in Brazil. Get out of the US and don’t waste your time on these women.”

That guy changed my life because he made feel confident about being single. I have not made any effort to date any white American women since then. They are a waste of time.

While I lived in Boulder, I was a regular at a local pub where I knew most of the employees. There was this one girl there who was pretty strange. I didn’t know her well at all. One night, two friends and I had just finished dinner and a few beers when all of a sudden it felt like I was moving. The room moved as if I had the spins or something. But no, that’s not what it was. I realized it was my chair that was moving. Suddenly my rib cage slammed up against the table and that waitress’s face appeared right in front of mine, practically with flames of fury shooting from her eyes and she shouted, “Stop looking at my friends!” The whole room went silent. That was the last day she ever worked there. Those are the kinds of women you meet in Boulder CO.

I remember another interesting comment I overheard in Boulder one day as I was walking down the street. There was a group of people sitting there and as I walked by I heard one of the women ask, “How come men don’t ask women out anymore?” I looked over at her and just kept walking.

The first white culture in North America was Puritanism. It started about 400 years ago. Puritan culture still dominates modern American culture and it is probably the reason why people feel inhibited to discuss anything other than boring talk show topics. The kind of automatic flirting discussed in this article is forbidden in Puritan cultures. Puritans have deep conversations about mundane topics in order to obscure the fact that they are trying to flirt.

The article also mentioned capitalism. When people are immersed in a society where everything has a dollar value and everything is a possession, do you think those attitudes affect the ways men and women think of each other? American personalities are tuned to work well in work places. The US is a culture of business, not a culture of romance.

Ernest April 27, 2017 - 6:04 pm

I praise you for telling your story. Listen to your friend. Save some money, plan a trip, and get on a plane flying overseas. I have done it three times. I have met amazing foreign women who are beautiful inside and out…hard to definitely find in United States.

If anyone is interested in these two good international dating websites, here they are:

Dream Connections and

You would look at profiles of women in Colombia, China, Ukraine and so on.

Forget about American women. They would only disappoint you just like they have done with me.

Eastern Europe Women September 6, 2016 - 2:19 am

I’d bet that both sexes are going to answer at least half of these questions either untruthfully or sidewind around them. Invasive inquiry will only put your date on defense, never a good idea.

Tanya December 5, 2016 - 1:52 pm

I wasn’t born in America, which I am endlessly grateful for! I was born in a former Soviet Union and had opportunity to enjoy real freedom in life, choices, and sex. Men and women were equal in celebrating their unique nature and differences with complete understanding that we are complimentary to each other, not equal! Is it that hard to grasp? All this “secret” knowledge wasn’t enforced, discussed, or even noticed. It comes naturally when priorities and heads are in a right place.
I have to add that this is not the case any longer… Deadly virus “Pop culture de Americano” spread all over the world and consumed all cultures and places. There is no hiding place now, it’s everywhere. That Berlin Wall was precisely for this: to prevent epidemic of degradation and self-destruction coming from the West.
I am well aware that for Americans such statements sounds less little of absurd since they have been brain washed for decades believe in an evil state of soviets and free democratic USA, LOL. Dating and human relationships in general are basic reflectors of self-actualization on a spiritual level. You flatter yourself into delusion that ya’all special, emancipated, freemonized, and independent. I totally agree, there is no cell reception here: zone of the dead. The article should have been named “Visible signs of Apocalypse in America”. As the author correctly mentioned, there is no way out of it without complete change of mentality. As this is NOT GONNA HAPPEN, continue indulge in completely meaningless, but very spiritually harmful sexual practices. Hey, on the way to Hell don’t bother to read road signs, your ‘all already have been racked! Oh, never mind, you have got new match on Tinder!

JR Larrea February 19, 2017 - 11:41 am

Coming from Latin America, in America the whole, “dating life” is like playing a video game, it’s mostly fun and it won’t lead nowhere, at least people I know are not having children. Could there be a social class distinction as well? While in some places in Latin America they might take it more seriously since women depend on a man much more, though at least in my country I haven’t seen it that pronounced I seen girls getting pregnant and simply moving on.In Latin America and other countries are becoming “americanized” my cousin currently got married, had a child then divorced all in the span of 2 years and she is now working and has a new boyfriend.

Maverick, you and Roosh have a very good understanding of American culture but an idealized understanding of foreign cultures, because by going to foreign cultures you are a hot commodity there and the women react differently to you than to what you they would if you guys would be locals, you get a status bump.

And That Is The Truth April 18, 2017 - 6:48 pm

Well the real truth is that most of the real good old fashioned ladies years ago were certainly the very best of all compared to the women of today that are out there now which is very sad.

Wanderer Question July 5, 2017 - 2:58 pm

How does the dating scene compare between SF and NYC?

I just spent a long time living in Latin America and now I’m forced to return to the US for work, and I need to go to either SF or NYC.

I know the gender ratio and political correctness in SF causes issues, but are there enough Asian women that it’s manageable?

ForeignWomanInUS March 4, 2019 - 10:15 am

I’m a foreign woman living in the US. The women in America are dim and unbearable. But so are the men. These people have no passion. Also American men and women are dishonest, and put their most false foot forward. That immediately pressures you to put a guard up, because we see these people as false with issues. American women use men for money. And while most women around the world seek financial stability, where I am from, women seek that financial stability because they realize it’s essential to raising a family. In america, women seek financial stability for self gratification only. Meanwhile, American men are so porn damaged, and view ALL women as sex objects. In my country, a man only views a woman as a sex object, only if she behaves ultra aggressive with sex, and pursues sex. They don’t view ordinary, shy women as a means to aggrandize himself by using her for sex. With men like this, you can’t expect a woman whether foreign or American to have their guard up.

American society is essentially disgusting. Both the men and the women created these problems. Can’t wait to leave here and raise a family elsewhere.

Truth May 2, 2019 - 3:25 pm

Why do you think so many men are watching porn and playing video games? They are discouraged at the insanity of the games and non commitment. There is a dark future ahead of the USA and that goes for both… I mean all genders and non gender conforming… lol

Anony May 11, 2019 - 1:30 am

I think the insecurity thing is dead on. Also, the difficulty in being vulnerable, as people are afraid they will perceived as weak or taken advantage of. This applies for both women and men, but as a guy, I am paying more attention to the women. Of course, this doesn’t apply to everyone, but I would say it applies to the majority of “Millenial” women, which is a huge number.

When I worked at a law firm in a big city, I heard the tall blonde secretary that sat on the other side of the wall from me totally roast this other dude at work to her girlfriend over the phone. She was the sorority type, and he was decent-looking, sociable, and made good money (lawyer). They were dating/seeing each other or something, and apparently he was acting kind of emotional like he was missing her or wanted to see her more often. Honestly I don’t even get why the guy was so interested in her, but whatever. I didn’t totally hear the whole situation, but she was basically making fun of him for getting “weak” for her. It seemed pretty cruel the way she was saying it, but I think it was almost a way to make herself feel better by putting him down due to her own insecurities. Pretty sure she was unaware I could hear that conversation, but I interacted with her once or twice more before I left and she had on the sweet/nice facade that I usually saw, even though now I knew how she was capable of acting. Of course not everyone is like that, but you see how cruel some people can be, which can be hard to detect up-front (I’ve been burned on this unfortunately), and it makes it seem less worth it to put yourself out there. Thus the difficulty with being vulnerable.

Another thing I’ve seen a few times (at least with girls in their 20s), is that they will get attention from a guy who in my opinion is “out of their league”, and who in my opinion is only there for sex, but will allow advances from such a guy. I have to believe these girls are not so naive to believe that the guys are “in their same league”, but are either enjoying the flattering attention and/or are hoping to convert that attention into a long-term relationship. The problematic thing is when these girls try to use the “quality/league” (e.g. in terms of looks, social skills, flirting ability) of the guys who only want no-strings sex as the requirement for what they expect in a long-term partner — they are going to be dissatisfied, because most guys in that league have better options, they are just there for the easy sex. Again, in my opinion it comes back to an insecurity thing; the girl is insecure about her attractiveness, so she lets someone use her for sex (or at least toys with the idea) just so she can temporarily feel better about herself, even though it kind of embitters her when he splits and taints her in the view of other men who find out about it. You ever see a pic of a girl and a better-looking guy at a bar or something, and the guy has this smug, almost evil smirk on his face — yeah, I know what that guy is up to. I think the girl does to, but she would rather sell out for an emotional roller-coaster than deal with the steady discomfort of staying single until she can find a better long-term match. Weak.

As one example, there was this girl at another company I worked at who seemed to show some interest in me during an informal event, and I was like whatever so we talked a bit. Then this other guy from work she knew “swooped in” and started making excuses to touch her, have me take a picture of the two of them, blah blah blah. The dude was attractive (I would consider “out of her league”) and good at flirting, but was shameless about it (making me roll my eyes, as it was so obvious what he was doing). She was going along with it, while expecting me to still kind of be interested in her. I was pretty amazed by how this (probably late 20s) “professional” “Christian” girl was so self-centered that she just expected to have guys compete over her or something. She seemed surprised when I bailed and didn’t show her any more attention, and later during work still thinks I’m into her or something (clueless). I wasn’t even interested in her in the first place beyond a little curiosity, but it just felt insulting/disrespectful to give my attention to someone only for her to basically devalue it and take the assured interest (at least in the short term) from this guy who’s just there for his ego, than to chance me getting to know about her and potentially turn her down (most likely outcome anyway). While I know there are solid women out there, it’s anecdotes/people like this that make me hesitant to waste my efforts on the generic dating pool I’ve encountered in the US. But I doubt it gets much better elsewhere; I think it’s just the modern world unfortunately.

Michael June 22, 2019 - 8:16 pm

Great post–given my age 63, I’ve seen American women change so much over 40 plus years. I still recall in jr. high late 60s girls who were once friendly became cold and unfriendly. Even that young feminism was taking over on them. With age it didn’t get better. In high school and later college, I didn’t see many people do any dating. I’ve used some dating websites in the last five years. I’m stunned by how many 50 plus women I’ve seen who never married or who never married and had kids anyway. I stopped dating at age 46. It was always a distasteful experience, of course living in Houston made it even worse. This is one of the top ten worst cities in America for dating. I never married, and I would not try dating anymore for any reason. The prospect pool for a man my age in America is zero. It’s too tough to deal with women in America today. I just try to avoid them and that makes life much easier.

Victoria Tegg June 28, 2019 - 2:25 am

“Stereotyping geeks is not okay!
ur saying: in order to be “”accepted”” by girls you have to be
1. Good looking
2. Fit
3. Well spoken
4. Hetrosexual
and most importantly
5. Girls are perfect, you just need to fix yourself!
why isn’t it that advices like yours that are making these “”geeks”” unacceptable in our society?
girls suffer from all sort of confidence problems and some, i think, solve it by making videos with cleavage to be accepted and receive votes!”

Zman November 23, 2019 - 7:32 am

Dude this is highly accurate. Just had to break things off with a cute girl because of her basically admitting she was a virgin until 22 where she decided to lose her virginity by having meaningless hookups off tinder and now at 24 wants to have a relationship but still wants to hookup LOL. she started out lying about it too by pretending to be innocent and then told me it was only 3 guys….yeah I bet. As I kept talking to her the demands were already starting before we even met and requiring me to put in a retarded amount of attrntion/comfort before I even met her. I straight up told her she is no different than these other tinder sluts and she is community property. I cancelled the date we had because I was disgusted and disappointed that this woman was so incredibly dumb in devaluing herself but this is the norm in American women. They do not value their sexuality or use it well, they squander it. This girl could have sold her virginity for 1 million bucks she’s very cute but instead has sex with random men and is now def. damaged. American women have meaningless sex with random men and don’t form long term relationships. Then once they get too old then get a relationship when they can’t even have kids or bond to a man. It is downright depressing dealing with these women.


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