Maverick Traveler

Location Independence, Geo Arbitrage, Individual Freedom

Russian Women: The Dark Secrets They Don’t Want You To Know

While it’s difficult to say with complete certainty, I’m pretty sure that had I not been living in Brazil when I decided to start this blog, this may have been the inaugural post (or one of the first posts) instead of a post that teaches the Portuguese language.

It just has to be: Russian women (as well as Russian-speaking women from neighboring countries) have been such a big part of my life, and, to a large extend, are duly responsible for the intense chemistry that evolved into torrid relationships only to be balanced out by ferocious breakups as well as some of the downright harshest and vengeful rejections that I’ve experienced in my whole life.

Even after wondering half away around the world and having the time of my life in countries replete with truly amazing women such as Mexico, Colombia or Brazil, meeting a Russian woman always ensures an experience that’s devoid of any boredom and monotony (like that fateful night when I locked eyes with a tanned blue-eyed Russian girl in a hostel bar in Ipanema, Rio de Janeiro, but that story is for a future post). For women that hail from such a cold and brutal climate, they sure know how to spice up a man’s life.

World’s greatest chameleon

First of all, unless you’ve interacted with Russian women in Russia (or in neighboring Russian-speaking countries such as Belarus or Ukraine), your experience with Russian women is rather limited and might be even biased. That’s applicable if you’ve met Americanized Russian women in big cities like New York or Chicago. That’s also applicable if you’ve met a Russian girl in tourist destinations like Turkey or Thailand. (A rookie mistake is to think that Americanized Russian women are the same as Russian women who grew up in Russia. That’s completely false; the two have little in common.)

That’s because you must learn the very first rule about the amazing but complicated creature called a Russian woman: she’s the greatest chameleon in the world and has an uncanny ability to adapt and blend into pretty much any environment. The reason for her super adaptability is the unique—and unforgiving—environment in which she has grown up. This isn’t a strong influencing factor with other amazing women like Brazilians or Colombians, which is why they’re equally friendly and approachable both at home and abroad.

Since I hail from the mythical land behind The Iron Curtain, I get asked constantly about the women there. My response is usually tailored to the asker’s experience. If the guy isn’t well traveled, I think harder, desperately trying to stitch my answer using words and images that the guy may already be familiar with. However, if the guy has already spent time in Brazil, formulating my answer becomes infinitely easier.

Russian women have an uncanny resemblance to Brazilian women, but not in the way you think. Brazilian women are larger than life. They’re extremely warm, approachable, friendly and sensual. They have an intoxicating swagger that no other woman in the world possesses or can even dream of successfully mimicking. They simply stand out. After spending lots of time in Brazil, I became skilled at recognizing a Brazilian woman anywhere in the world from a mile away.

Like Brazilian women, Russian women are also larger than life but in a different way. Russian women don’t have the intoxicating sensuality nor the exhilarating swagger of Brazilian women, but they make up for those shortcomings with sincerity, warmth and intensity, all stitched together and interlaced with strong femininity—an invigorating combination that I haven’t found in other European women (Ukrainian women come close).

Russian women

Diverse as the empire

There’s a stereotypical Russian woman that’s known the world over. She’s tall, slim, has blonde or light brown hair, blue eyes and perfectly toned legs that seem to go on forever. She possesses a certain swagger and sexiness. But that’s all it is—a stereotype. What surprises most people is that Russian women are extremely diverse, and that’s because Russia itself is really one of the world’s last remaining empires that’s composed of many diverse races and ethnic groups.

Throughout my life, I’ve met all kinds of Russian women: tall and short; dark-haired and light-haired; blue-eyed and brown-eyed. While I’m personally not a huge fan of blonde women with blue eyes and much prefer darker women, I’ve been fortunate to meet women who were as close to my perfection as possible: they were olive-skinned, looked Latin or Southern European, but acted and carried themselves with the sexy and familiar Slavic swagger. The last time I met one was in Jurmala, Latvia, and at that moment I felt as though all my prayers were answered from above.

When it comes to sheer beauty, I honestly cannot say that Russian women are the most beautiful women in the world. There are other nationalities that are blessed with more per-capita beauties such as Lithuania and Argentina.

But, as usual, statistics don’t tell the whole story. A cute Russian girl definitely holds her own compared to pretty much any other nationality. If you see a really cute Russian girl, you’d be really hard pressed to avoid moving into her direction and striking a conversation. And if she’s in the “super cute” or model territory, you’ll suddenly overcome with a temporary amnesia and would have difficulty recalling all the previous women in your life.

Like a Brazilian woman, a Russian woman has a very distinctive body language, so much so that I could usually recognize a Russian woman outside Russia, even in countries where she strongly resembles the native population. After traveling and living in the Baltics (Estonia, Lithuania and Latvia) for over a year, I’ve been able to determine whether a particular woman is Russian or Baltic with almost pin-point accuracy.

The overwhelming distinction is in her subtle body language and not merely in the physical appearance. I could literally be buying a cup of tea in a coffee shop and just feel that the woman behind the counter is Russian before she even utters a single a word. Call it a sixth sense or whatever, but it’s there.

Wise beyond her years

But discussing only beauty would make for a pretty shallow article. Not only is beauty skin deep, it’s also very subjective; every nationality of women has its share of gorgeous women, always ensuring that a love tourist will be delighted regardless if he’s in Riga, Latvia or Cali, Colombia—or anywhere in between. If someone loves Colombian women, that doesn’t make Lithuanian women any less attractive. If someone glorifies Spanish women, that doesn’t make Ukrainian women any less desirable.

Russian women, however, really begin to outshine their counterparts in other countries once you factor in their iron spirit and mentality. Not only are they tough, but they’re also very goal oriented and ambitious, something that I felt was lacking at times in Latin America and Western Europe.

On my first week in Russia I met a 23-year-old woman who already had her own apartment (not in the center) and a decent car. She had a well-paying job as a marketing director for a large company. Her plan was to open her business and then get married and start a family in a couple of years.

In Serbia, I met a 24-year-old Russian girl who was busy building her translator services business. Although she was physically small, her dreams were big and ambitious. Here was this woman with her own apartment, a car and a rapidly growing business, and here was a guy—me—who possessed none of the above. Being older than her and still living a nomadic lifestyle that entails renting assets instead of owning them, I felt at times underprivileged to be in her company.

While talking to each of these women, I felt like I was talking to a person who was many years wiser than her biological age. Each possessed an unmatched combination of sophistication, classiness and intelligence, something that was sorely absent from the women that I interacted with in the big American coastal cities like San Francisco or Los Angeles. And women like those weren’t some strange aberration, there were lots of women like that who’re busy trying to make something of themselves, and, in the process, assemble crucial real world knowledge and experience.

All that can be summed up in one word: maturity. In general, Russian people grow up fast, exceptionally fast—way, way faster than their counterparts in the West. I’ve met guys in their early 20s who easily passed for guys in their early 30s. And I’m not just referring to their physical appearance; I’m referring to the way they acted and carried themselves.

As someone who’s grown up in New York and San Francisco where—especially in the latter—it was very common to meet a 37-year-old woman (or a girl) who’s still single and playing the field because she’s “afraid of commitment,” it was the most refreshing thing in the world to meet a mid-20s woman who had achieved so much already—and was able to do that in such an unforgiving and difficult environment where success isn’t simply given away and must be earned with blood and sweat.

Smiling and flirting can only last so long: at some point there needs to be a more concrete conversation around the topics that have more weight, topics like current events, politics, history, literature, etc.—topics that let you discover the depth of a person’s knowledge, experience, beliefs and convictions.

I’m an avid student of life and read books spanning many topics, and in one of the conversations with these women, I subtly hinted that I had just gotten a copy of White Guard, a classic about the 1917 Russian Revolution, that I’ve been meaning to read for a long time. To my surprise, both of these women had not only read them, but also recommended a bunch of other books that I would find interesting and should read as well.

There’s something truly intoxicating about being able to take a gorgeous woman to dinner, have incredible sex later that night, and then discuss War and Peace or Crime and Punishment over breakfast the following morning. If you’re surrounded by women who leave you underwhelmed, I’m here to tell you that there are women who can stimulate and challenge you both sexually and mentally. That’s what I call genuine fulfillment.

russian_blondie

The Russian edge

One of the most commonly used adjectives that Westerners use to describe Russian women are “cold” and “calculating.” There’s some truth to such harsh adjectives. A Russian woman, as oppose to, say, a Latin American, has a certain “edge.” She can be amazingly sexy and classy one moment, but can suddenly change and become scheming and conniving the next; she can be warm and soft one moment, but icy and hard the next.

That’s the “Russian edge.” It’s a trait that I’ve found predominantly in Russian women as opposed to Russian-speaking women in neighboring countries. It’s what literally defines a Russian woman. It’s a direct result of living in a dog-eat-dog society; it’s her insurance policy against being mindlessly complacent in an environment where complacency means you don’t eat.

While not all Russian women are “cold” and “calculating,” all Russian women have this edge in varying degrees. The really bold and ambitious women have more of it. I’ve also met women who are shy and reserved, but when faced with a stressful situation, suddenly exhibited a certain level of determination and intensity. It’s as though they literally metamorphosed into someone extremely decisive, conquered the menacing obstacle and then reverted to their previously warm, loving and caring selves.

I found this quality very admirable and respect it. But that’s probably because I’m a realist than anything else. It took me many years of wondering the distant corners of the globe and soul-searching to finally realize that there’s really no such thing as a perfect woman. Every quality that a woman possesses is a tradeoff for another quality that’s absent.

Femininity has its price, too. The more feminine the woman is, the less she’s ambitious and driven, and the more you have to babysit her. The more independent the woman is, the less you have to babysit her, but the flip side is that she’s fully capable of being without you (she’s independent, remember) instead of being fully loyal to you. I can keep going, but you get my point.

I certainly don’t mind when a woman is savvy and street-smart as opposed to a woman who is so indecisive and confused that she’s all but disconnected from reality and has no idea what to do with her life. I don’t want to have to do all the planning and strategizing—and babysitting and handholding.

Fortunately, the sheer essence of a Russian woman is that she’s always capable of thinking independently and acting in a supporting role to her man, a role that allows her man to sit on the throne and take the reins while planning the overall long-term strategy. To me, that’s the ideal scenario: a woman that’s gentle on the inside, but is covered with a tough exterior shell designed to withstand and overcome constant obstacles that are thrown her way.

These qualities put Russian women in a world of their own when compared to their counterparts in Western Europe and America, but one doesn’t need to go that far; even comparing them to women in neighboring countries—and former Soviet Union republics—such as Lithuania and Latvia, makes other women seem spoiled and confused, lacking genuine drive and determination.

Alina

Curious about the world beyond the wall

But even with all the aforementioned drive and ambition that emits powerful energy, it’s also not unusual to meet women who are eager to actually absorb energy and information with the same intensity. Russian women are some of the most curious women I’ve met in my travels. And if she’s curious, she’s curious about lots of things, things that are so banal that they don’t arouse any interest from women from other nationalities. For example, on more than one occasion I’ve met women possessing an abundance of curiosity about life in Europe and America.

They inquired about life in Europe as though the continent was on some distant and mysterious planet that was only accessible to royalty and aristocrats while being closed to normal people like herself. I’ve had multiple conversations with them about topics that I’ve never had with women from other nationalities and regions who have neither the interest nor the sheer curiosity about the world around them.

Of course, there are plenty of Russians who not only visit Europe, but actually buy chunks of it, by purchasing huge mansions and villas, but I’m not discussing a woman’s (and her husband’s) financial ability; I’m merely pointing to the existence of women who are actually curious about the world around them, something that’s in our age of distraction is rapidly becoming a strange and unique novelty.

I suppose this curiosity a direct result of living in a culture that has been completely blocked from the rest of the world for a good part of the 20th century—and still remains blocked to some extent even today.

Russian

Seduction

Russian seduction is pure, very pure, pure like the finest spring water—perhaps the purest in the world. Pure means the genders are super traditional: super feminine women who are attracted to super masculine men. Another culture that comes to mind when thinking about pure mating rituals is Brazil, where women are amazingly sexy and approachable and men are confident and aggressive. A crude difference between two mating cultures is that Brazilians are friendlier and smile more than Russians.

Russian women love real men—masculine, powerful and ambitious men for two main reasons. First, a powerful and strong men is always preferable to someone who’s ineffective and weak. Everyone biologically gravitates to powerful and strong men. Who wants to be with some weak loser with a pencil neck? When is weakness preferable to strength? A man should be strong, powerful and successful.

The second, and more important reason why Russian women prefer real men is that they simply wouldn’t survive by being with other, less assertive and weaker men. It really comes down to a matter of survival—a matter of life and death. In Russia, the odds are stacked against a woman; it’s the man who’s graced with unobstructed green lights on the road to the top. An overwhelming majority of the country’s political and business elite are men. A powerful and successful man can actually build a real business that makes a lot of money, and can use this wealth and power to provide his woman and their family with a much better quality of life.

This just doesn’t apply to Western countries with generous welfare systems or legal and social structures that result in enough of opportunities for men as well as women. A woman who grows up, say in Norway, Denmark or even America, doesn’t need to be with a successful man; she might or might not be successful herself and in many cases even make more money than her boyfriend or husband.

Russian models

Taking what’s yours

In America, the bulk of the game consists of lots meaningless conversations; in Brazil it’s about playfulness backed by raw confidence; in Russia it’s about coming in and taking what’s yours.

Russian women, like any other women, love to flirt and play games, but the flirting and banter never crosses the common sense boundary. Unlike an American or an Americanized woman, a Russian girl will never tease you like one of your male friends, nor would her responses be laden with heavy sarcasm because she doesn’t know how to react when confronted with your bold advances.

A Russian woman would never accuse you of “following a N-day rule” when you call her to schedule a date. She would never pull out her blackberry and begin asking you interview questions on the first or second date. She’s blessed with lots and lots of emotional intelligence, and thus can usually tell what kind of man you are by observing how you act and behave, all without asking you direct and logical questions.

All of this translates into a much more direct and quicker game. I can meet a Russian girl and either build chemistry super quick or know right away that we’re just not meant to be. There’s rarely a situation where we fill up the time by talking about empty—and politically correct—topics like the weather or politics (if you find yourself having mindless conversation as a way to fill up awkward silences with a Russian woman, you can be pretty sure that she’s not going see you again).

There’s usually instant sexual magnetism simply due to the fact that a man and a woman meet, something that’s very difficult to explain to guys who’ve lived all their lives in Western countries where politically correct communication is the norm not only in public but in private conversations as well. And I experience this polarity not only because I’m from the region and speak the language; foreigners always mention experiencing exactly the same thing.

Russian women respect men who make it clear what they want. They love sincerity and commitment and loath aloofness and ambiguity. They hate dealing with someone who sends them mixed signals. In the West, you’re forced to hide your primal instincts and be indirect because showing interest first might make you appear desperate and needy; in Russia, not showing interest quickly enough makes you appear insecure and indecisive. If she detects that you’re playing games—and she knows perfectly well the difference between flirting games and games that showcase your ineptitude and insecurity—she’ll abruptly stop talking to you and move on to a more promising candidate. Life in Russia is too short for games.

Instead of playing endless games that don’t really lead to anywhere, Russian women respond well to a strong man who shows initiative and control. They love when a man has the raw confidence and determination to get what he wants in life, and, ultimately through his efforts, conquers the woman herself. They love when a man instinctively leads.

In America, a man who’s confident, assertive and successful with women is called an “alpha” male. But because American culture is structured in such a way that the women do not genuinely need a confident and assertive man to succeed, and, instead, gravitate to men who are not just confident and assertive but also act confident and assertive, it’s relatively simple to mimic this type of man: just fake it till you make it.

That ain’t going to fly in Russia. For starters, a Russian alpha male is the real deal: it’s a man who actually built something by confronting and outmaneuvering—or stealing from—his competitors. He has several million or billion in the bank, and he probably didn’t earn that money via “legal means.” A Russian alpha male is a true leader of men. It’s not someone who you can become by mimicking. It’s not someone who you can learn to be; it’s someone who you either are or not.

Russian women have learned to be very adept in separating the wheat from the chaff; they know how to distinguish between the real men and the posers. Since finding a quality man is imperative to having a high(er) quality life, Russian women have evolved a high level of emotional intelligence to properly judge a man for his fittest. And they manage to do that without asking what you do or who you want to be in the next five years.

They really have no choice; if they don’t possess the emotional intelligence to understand the kind of man they’re dealing with, they will get stuck with some loser and that will mean a disaster for their own and their children’s future. If that’s not evolution and survival of the fittest at work, then I don’t know what is. Charles Darwin would be very proud.

The pure mating culture dictates that the more vivacious, ambitious, aspiring, and hotter the woman, the more masculine and successful the man needs to be in order to seduce her—or even to have a shot at the title. I’ve rarely seen a very beautiful and vivacious woman with a guy who’s indecisive, wishy-washy, and has no clue how to make a buck.

No matter how you slice it, this is one of the cultures where there’s just no substitute for raw masculinity.

Complete package?

It’s not all peaches and cream in Rußland. Besides the things that were already mentioned such as the torrid hot and icy cold personality, coupled with intensity that some guys might find overbearing and even threatening, there are several other factors worth discussing.

Russian women will always try to get their fair share in any human exchange, whether it’s business or personal, before rewarding others with their feminine charm. If what you’re after is sex with no strings attached, you’ll have a difficult time. In that case, you might as well stay in your safe and comfortable North American or European Union country where women have no problem with shallow relationships based on exchange of fluids and not much else.

Russian women love attention and usually get no shortage of it from other horny men, so if you’re an insecure guy who easily gets jealous, you’ll have a difficult time, especially if the woman you are with is extremely beautiful.

Russian women also seem to age fairly quickly when compared to their Western and Latin American (which can partly explain their frenetic drive to get something done and raise a family very quickly). It’s common to meet a complete knockout when she’s 25, but then wonder what happened to her in just ten years.

This is simply not the case in many of the other countries I’ve lived, especially in Latin American countries such as Brazil or Colombia. When I was living there, I used to walk the streets and just couldn’t believe my eyes how sexy some of the older women were. Latin American women are like a fine wine; they only seem to get better with age.

Antidote to Western culture

The best advice for guys who want to meet Russian women is exactly same for guys who want to meet Brazilian women; you must first live in Russia in order to understand the spirit of the land and its people. Watching cheesy PUA videos of guys approaching women on YouTube will actually do more harm than good; although it might perhaps help in Times Square, you’ll seem like a confused clown in the bars and clubs of Moscow.

Besides, living in Russia and interacting with Russian women is the greatest antidote to a Western man who’s confused about his role in the world as a result of being brought up in a culture that’s void of any meaning, cause or purpose.

The richness of Russian culture will fortify your psyche and inject into your life rich meaning and purpose. The more you spend time with Russian women, the less you’ll ever take seriously another 37-year-old American girl, who proclaims that she’s “too picky” or “still wants to play the field,” the same one who’s debating whether to freeze her ovaries so that she can have children when she’s 65, while she’s attending house parties wearing tube socks.

I guess what I’m really trying to say is that there are no shortcuts. Succeeding with Russian women is really a direct consequence of succeeding in Russia as a whole. It means digging deep and really understanding the history, the culture and why are the things the way they are. It means being tough and reaching the absolute pinnacle of masculinity.

Above all, one thing is definitely guaranteed: you’ll interact with women who possess an unmatched combination of beauty, femininity, sexiness, sophistication, determination and toughness—a lethal cocktail that I simply haven’t found anywhere else in the world, and, like a drug addict, always tend to reach for a new injection whenever sufficient time has passed between infusions.

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9 Comments

  1. Nice summary of Russian women. However my experience dating them has overall been negative. Maybe it’s because I’m neither Russian nor speak the language. Many are scammers. Even my big alpha Russian friend got screwed over in divorce court married to one. They love money spending a mans money and drama. I much prefer women from Latin America.

  2. If Russian women are so great then why do Russian women feature prominently in the ‘most expensive divorces’ list? If they’re so great then why does Russia have the same divorce rate as the US?

    Russian women are very beautiful but LTR material they are not.

    And personally I don’t get why anyone who speaks good Russian would go to Russia instead of Belarus if he was looking for an LTR. Surely Belarus is bound to have more conservative chicks?

  3. A fellow traveler!
    lived in russian speaking countries for 6 years.haven’t been to latin America yet. Lived in Europe for a while. Yap, American women can’t compete with Russian women. I have yet to meet with women who are more feminine than Russian women(or those from Russian speaking countries). They age very quickly though. Very adaptive.They ARE calculating . I miss talking to them. Just talking with them makes one feel like a man. They have their life together at age 15/16..
    Question to you Maverick?
    Whats the ideal age for a man to get married?

  4. I showed this to the russian girl I’m dating, she loved it, although I sleep with one eye open around her, they are a special breed.

  5. I feel as though i could have written this article myself.It tool me a couple of tries to finally understand the mentality of woman from eastern Europe but after much trial and error i was finally able to get a grip on their view of life and what they expect from their man.For the man that is considering traveling to eastern Europe for leisure or to meet a woman or both i would highly recommend that you commit this entire article to memory. I very much wish i had such an article to read before my first visit to his part of the world 5 years ago,It would of saved me a whole lot of hassle for sure.This information is invaluable and very much spot on !

  6. This article is definitely spot on! Iv’e dated a Russian lady for a year and it was one of the most rewarding experiences ever. First of all, before meeting her, I had no clue as to what Russian women or culture was like in any depth. I walked to the neighborhood pool one morning (the first day it opened) and surprise, surprise! Instead of seeing 4 dudes working lifeguard duties which I normally always expected, I saw 4 really gorgeous women with tubes in bikinis! (They weren’t given full aquatic gear yet) They were all from Russia! They were part of a study abroad program from respected Russian universities. To make the long story short, I met the beautiful blonde, grey-eyed Anna, we hooked, up and over time we became intimately close. I don’t consider myself an alpha, top-dog type of person, but Anna told me that what she liked most about me was how I smile a lot, how funny and romantic I was, and my confidence was unbreakable. Add the fact that I played piano professionally, and she was all in after two weeks of hangin’. I believe it was my positive energy that won her over. She even went on to say that my personality is much more charismatic and how that intrigued her greatly given the fact that she wasn’t use to seeing that where she came from. Now she was much like the women described in this article. She was beautiful, feminine in every way, mature, brilliant, and she definitely wasn’t a gamer by any means of the word. The most important thing about Anna is that she began to believe in me, and in the potential I had to become an even better man. She did not hesitate to point out anything I may have done wrong that would have annoyed her. Because of the influence she had on me, she ignited growth and maturation in areas I struggled in. It was to a point where she became so loyal and so dedicated, that she would follow me to every single gig, support whatever I was apart of, and she would make time for me no matter what. She was a quiet individual by nature, but she knew exactly how to express herself and get her point across. She wasn’t use to smiling a lot, and sometimes my spontaneity was a little much, (she was a shrewd planner) but she was radiant with joy and happiness and she made sure I was happy. Today, Iv’e dedicated myself to learning the language fluently and to immersing myself in the culture which will prepare me for an even smoother transition of experiencing companionship with a Russian/Ukrainian/Slavic beauty.

    PS: This girl was 19 and already thinking like a wife!

  7. I’ve been giving the subject of Russian woman quite a bit of thought for a while. I finally struck out to do something about it, as american girls are horrible.

    I found 2 russian gals on OKC very near me, my study has done me well, i could tell they were russian right off.

    at 53 years old, I can truly say they were the 2 best dates ive ever had in my life.

    just my observations:

    a russian woman behaves and dresses very well in public.
    a russian woman will let you be the man, no misunderstanding
    very intelligent, they will usually know 3 or more languages and play a musical instrument. (im an amatuer musician, we had plenty to talk about)
    nice sense of humour
    with the 2nd girl, at dinner, once i established what we would after dinner, she was on top of it, looking at the time and consulting with me on it.
    both girls had memories like a steel trap, conversing with me details of my personal life i had told them weeks before.

    … absolutely wonderful

  8. I’m Russian and live in Moscow. I think Russian women are cold rude masculine bitches. My favorites are south Europeans, latinas and Asians

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