Even though I mostly dated white and Latin girls, one of my first trips abroad was to Thailand back in 2004. During that trip, I met a wonderful Thai girl who I ended up traveling with around the country for a bit.
We visited the southern islands, headed up to Chiang Mai and wrapped up our trip in Bangkok.
Comparing to Western women that I was dating at that time (this was before my Latin American adventures), this Thai woman was an absolute breath of fresh air.
This is a guest article from one of my good friends Jake who I met in Chiang Mai back in 2016. Jake loves Thai women and has been continuously living in Thailand since 2013.
Take it away, Jake.
While the West is being overrun with radical feminism and #metoo movements, Thailand is still firmly a very traditional society replete with fairly submissive women. I believe that Thai women are some of the most submissive women on the planet. Perhaps they’re like Vietnamese and Cambodian women who are also very submissive. (But I’ve yet to visit those countries, so I can’t speak for them.)
Of course, there are Thai women that are more modern and they are Thai women that are more conservative. The more modern ones are typically found in big cities such as Bangkok, while more conservative ones usually hail from the countryside.
Thai women characteristics
Thai women, like most Southeastern women, are refreshingly submissive. They’re more submissive than Brazilian women. They’re more submissive than either Ukrainian or Russian women. They’re just one of the most submissive women on the planet.
I would say Thai women are like how the Western women were 50-100 years ago. Before the whole feminism fiasco. They’re so submissive that even merely talking back to a man is pretty much unheard of. Of course, this is changing as the country becomes more Westernized and, indeed, women in Bangkok and perhaps Chiang Mai are more Westernized than, say, women in Isan, a remote region in Thailand known for its very traditional women.
Do Thai women like foreigners?
This is a hotly debated topic and a recent article in Bangkok Post illustrated this issue.
Here’s what one Thai woman in the article was quoted as saying:
“I dated a few Thai guys before, and one thing I found quite annoying is that they are not as mature as Westerners of the same age,” she said.
“Many Thai men are childish, irresponsible and jealous for no reason. Meanwhile, many Westerners are completely the opposite.”
I would say there are two types of Thai women: those who only date Thai men and those who date both Thai and Western men. The women who are also open to dating non-Thai women do so because they perceive their own culture to be a bit too restrictive in terms of what women are allowed to do or not to do. So, they are in a way rebelling against the status quo.
Generally, these are the women that themselves are more Western than the typical Thai woman. Perhaps they were exposed to Westerners at an earlier age by studying or even living abroad in countries such as England or the USA.
Of course, there are very traditional women that fall into these categories. I once visited a remote village in the north of the country and ended up meeting a cute girl. We dated for about six months. So, here’s an example of a quality traditional girl that wasn’t exposed to foreigners all that much (although she did speak decent English).
In cities like Bangkok, you’ll find many of the women to be equivalent to Western women, along with some of the negative traits you’re already used to back home: entitled, bitchy, materialistic, etc. Heck, you’ll be able to swipe them on Tinder as you would in New York. The world is truly getting smaller.
Having said that, unlike in some of the other countries where being a Westerner isn’t necessarily an advantage over local guys (e.g., Latin America and Eastern Europe), being a Westerner is truly prized in Asia and Thailand. In other words, if you’re a Western man, you will be in a pretty good spot.
When it comes to dates, I like to keep it simple. In terms of what I like to do on dates, that really depends where I meet the girl.
If I’m in Bangkok, and I meet a fairly Westernized girl either on the street or on one of those dating sites, then a solid spot for a first date would be something like a cool local bar to get a couple of drinks. It’s basically like dating in New York. Another solid option is to just meet up for coffee at some random coffee shop in order to properly feel her out.
If I meet a girl at some remote village, I would just go where the locals go, whether it’s a small restaurant or some local hideout where the locals like to meet up. The village girl that I referred to earlier, we went to a local joint and had some Thai noodles. Nothing fancy.
Even in Bangkok, I certainly wouldn’t take a girl to some fancy restaurant for our first date. Keep your investment low. Plus, it would weed out the gold diggers who are only looking to fleece your wallet and nothing more.
For a second date, suggest something as simple as a walk somewhere or, depending on how things are going between the two of you, perhaps invite her back to your house to watch Netflix or something.
Much like in the US, I like to abide by the “3-day rule” when dating Thai women. If by the 3rd date, the woman isn’t willing to get “intimate” with you, there’s a good chance she’s just using you for attention and wasting your time. Of course, super conservative women do exist, so you’ll have to trust your gut with this, but that’s typically been my experience.
Warning signs and red flags
Like anywhere else in the world, there are quality women and not so quality women. Obviously, this depends on your goals. If you’re into casual dating then you can ignore the signs below and keep dating the girl. However, if you’re interested in a long-term relationship, then it certainly helps to keep the following points in my mind.
1) She has lots of male friends
Generally, it’s a bad sign if the woman has tons of male friends. It can mean many things: she needs lots of male attention, she likes to date lots of men at the same time. As you probably know, there exists no friendship between women and men. Men only “friend” women who they’ve either already had sex with or who they want to sleep with. I don’t know any man who would voluntarily friend a 50-year-old woman.
2) She still keeps in touch with her ex-boyfriend
This is a corollary of the previous point. A woman who still keeps in touch with her ex (especially if they broke up after many years) isn’t a healthy sign.
3) She loves to get overly drunk
This is self-explanatory, as higher quality women tend to drink no to little alcohol and they will definitely not get wasted on a first date with a stranger.
4) She sleeps with you on the first date
This is a controversial point. I’ve had women with whom I’ve slept on the very first date that went on to become super amazing relationships, it can be a sign that the woman you’re with is easy and not especially applicable to a relationship.
5) She asks for money.
This is a big one. Many Asian women think that Western guys are super loaded, so some women have no problems asking the guys they’re getting to know or seeing for some “financial help.” They make up all kinds of reasons for this help: perhaps it’s to help some ”family member” who lives on some farm, or maybe one of her relatives is “sick” and needs financial assistance.
This is a big red flag because no good or quality girl would ever ask her Western boyfriend for money. It’s just not something that’s done. Even if she’s a very poor girl from the village, if she’s a half-way decent girl, she would never ask you for money.
Where to find a good Thai woman
There are unlimited ways to find a good, quality Thai woman whether your goals are a short-term relationship, long-term relationship or even marriage.
Places like the big malls in Bangkok or Chiang Mai, book stores, expat meetups, and different venues are all solid choices to meet amazing, quality women. Even random bars can be decent choices, but I probably wouldn’t go as far as to say that clubs are great options since clubs mostly attract women who’re looking for quick flings and nothing more.
How to meet Thai women online
Online dating is an excellent way to meet Thai women. The most popular way to do so is Tinder, an app used the world over, where you can just swipe left or right depending on if you like the girl, respectively.
But, what most people don’t know is that there are much better ways to meet Thai women than Tinder. One of them is to use a very popular site Thai Cupid. Thai Cupid is actually one of the largest sites to meet beautiful and quality Thai women regardless of your relationship goals.
Here at Maverick Traveler, we’ve had good experience with Thai Cupid and can wholeheartedly recommend it to everyone if they’re looking to meet high-quality Thai women.
I know that many of you have heard of the whole “Lady Boy” thing and, are, rightly worrying, whether that’s something to be concerned about. Basically, you’re worrying if you get drunk one night at some Bangkok bar, how do you make sure that you don’t end up picking up a Lady Boy (who are men that are dressed as Thai women).
I’m here to tell you that this is something you shouldn’t really worry about. There’s just no way you’re going to miss a “girl” with a voice box, and general manly features (ie, big feet). Honestly, I wouldn’t even worry about this – the chances of you hooking up with a lady girl is lower than getting hit by lightning in a Bangkok storm.
I hope that by writing this article, you have a roadmap on what it’s like meeting and dating Thai women. Like, I wrote above Thai women are an absolute pleasure to be around with. They’re super feminine, submissive and friendly—even if they’ve rejected you.
Have a great time in the land of smiles.