For much of my adult life, my goal has been to solve the quintessential question that has plagued mankind since the beginning of time. Even the great psychologist Sigmund Freud famously pondered this question. Unfortunately, he eventually left this world without arriving at a satisfactory answer.
Over the years of meeting and interacting with lots of women, I can say that I both failed and succeeded in answering the all important question: what do women really want.
Answering this question has never been easy: after all, different women want different things; answering the opposite of this question has been pretty straightforward. And what women do not want – all women, every single one out there – is one thing and one thing only: they do not want to be worshipped.
You may shrug your shoulders and say that you knew and understood this all along and that this is as obvious as the fact that earth goes around the sun. But before you close this browser tab and return to watching funny cat videos, I assure you that you’re mistaken.
Yes, you’re wrong. This seemingly simple statement is a lot more complex than it initially appears; for, women are being worshipped pretty much all the time— they’re being covertly worshipped by you and everyone around you.
How are women being worshipped? They’re being worshipped in an almost unlimited number of ways. Whenever you go on the forum and ask others what to do when a particular girl that you met on vacation isn’t replying to your texts, you’re worshipping women. Whenever you rate women on a 1-10 scale (or some other scale), you’re worshipping women. (“10” stands for a “Goddess,” remember?)
Whenever you refer to a woman by various exaggerated adjectives such as “hot” or “gorgeous” before you even get to know her as a person, you’re worshipping women. Whenever you ask others how many times should I sleep with women in order to “demystify” them, you’re really worshipping women. Whenever you send your friend an excited text, “I just got laid!” congratulations: you’re the greatest woman worshipper.
Whenever you put a woman’s needs above yours, you’re worshipping women. You worship women when you refuse to treat them like people with faults, people who could be wrong, people who can be both super sweet and incredibly manipulative, and, most importantly, when you refuse to treat them like human beings.
And, last but definitely not least, you worship women when you refuse to believe they love sex as much—if not more—as you do. That they’re really all animals underneath with accompanying animalistic desires.
All day, every day, you’re worshipping women even without giving it another thought.
And you’re usually not acting on your own. You’re being continuously reinforced by others to worship women. The vast majority of the so-called “self-improvement” and “masculinity” blogs teach you different ways of worshiping women. Everything in pickup niche is about worshipping women. The so-called “manosphere” is a huge temple of female worship (see the endless discussion about “shit tests” as though the way any woman communicates must be automatically interpreted as some kind of “test”).
The entire pick up industry spawned up as a result of men who are subconsciously worshipping women (while pretending they just want to fuck like rockstars). It exists precisely to fill in this psychological demand. It exists because guys don’t seem to understand that whatever they do, the number one thing that women do not want is for you to worship them.
You think you’re learning helpful advice on improving with women but you’re being fed the complete opposite: how to worship women even more than how you’ve been doing in the past. In many cases, women are being worshipped more than God itself (and you call yourself an atheist).
The mainstream media and Hollywood don't help either by always portraying the ultimate prize for every hero saves human civilization from armageddon: a date with a blonde girl.
Women don’t want you to brainstorm 200 ways of approaching them. They don’t want you to think they’re embarrassed to have sex or that they must be somehow “manipulated” into having sex with you. Women just want to be treated like women. They want to be respected for their sexual appetites and needs too.
Why don’t women like to be worshipped? It’s not because women do not like to be treated in a respectful way (the idea that women hate nice guys and only sleep with jerks is a myth that I cover shortly), it’s because men who treat women nice are also covertly worshipping them. And, as I’ve already point out, women don’t fuck men who worship the ground they walk on.
When you worship a woman, you’re indirectly sub communicating to her that she’s someone who’s above you and more worthy of you. Unlike one of your old friends who you’ve known since high school and have seen fucking up and feeling embarrassed, with whom you can have a frank conversation about pretty much anything and everything, whom you can call names, and tell him to “fuck off” when he pisses you off, a woman is always someone “above and beyond” and, therefore, requires special treatment. After all, she’s a goddess and you’re a mere mortal who was put on this planet to worship her.
A world where women are treated like women
While traveling and living around the world, I carefully observed how men in different countries behave towards women; it’s an interesting cultural aspect to observe since each culture has unique mating dances and rituals—and they usually greatly differ from what you find in America and the West. Observing foreign cultures helps you escape the Western bubble where relationships are synthetically constructed and not organically evolved as in the rest of the world.
In Brazil, men are smooth and confident. They confidently approach women and make their intentions known. There’s never any confusion as to what a Brazilian guy wants from a woman he finds attractive. Brazilian men do not worship women. And women seem to be absolutely fine with it.
But you didn’t need to be in Rio’s bars and clubs to appreciate this. This type of behavior is everywhere. I was once sitting on the beach in Ipanema, about a block where I was living at that time. A couple of chairs over to my right, I noticed a young couple; they were probably just 18 or 19 years old. The girl was, as usual, very beautiful. The guy seemed cool too.
As they were enjoying the sun and the waves, the young man wasn’t sitting still like a robot: he was busy touching the girl all over her petite body, while subtly (or not so subtly) working his way down. The girl didn’t seem to mind too much—she was smiling—although I noticed she was a bit uncomfortable because it was done right out in public. Judging by their behavior, I wouldn’t say they’ve been together for a long time. Most likely it was only their first or second date.
Do you know what you call this young man? Answer: someone who isn’t worshipping women. That’s exactly what you call this guy. Instead of worrying what to do, he’s feeling her out like an animal.
I’m pretty sure if I showed you a picture of this girl, most of you reading this article right now would be salivating at the mere thought of getting her to notice you. Furthermore, most of you would probably be brainstorming ways of approaching and seducing her (and maybe a tiny of fraction of you will have the balls to actually approach and make your intentions known beyond the useless discussion).
Yes, she was that beautiful. And girls like these don’t like to be worshipped; they much more prefer to be with men who’re trying to fuck them.
Few years later, I returned to my former homeland of Ukraine and discovered what true masculinity is all about. While Brazilian guys are smooth and confident, Eastern European guys are more “macho” and direct; they don’t waste time playing silly games—and don't waste time with those who do—they simply show up and take what they want. And, you guessed it, they don’t worship anyone, much less the opposite sex (which I suppose is a byproduct of a very tough and demanding culture).
It didn’t take very long to see that. Kiev, the capital of Ukraine, is arguably a city with the largest per capita of beautiful women in the world. I’m no stranger to traveling, and I do not ever remember being in a place every other woman was so cute and approachable.
But it wasn’t the sheer number of beautiful women that had me perplexed throughout my stay: it was the seemingly uninterested and aloof behavior of men. These men usually just went about their day, without paying much attention to the sheer beauty around them pretty much all the time.
This bothered me for a long time. While I consider myself a man of above average intelligence, I couldn’t solve the riddle as to why these guys aren’t running around and approaching these gorgeous women left and right, day and night, like some of their counterparts in the West (e.g., “PUA” and others).
Were these Eastern European men pussies? Wussies? Losers? “Betas”? Didn’t have balls? And I’m talking about men who don’t take shit from anyone (let’s not forget that, contrary to popular belief, it was Soviet Union that actually won WWII while losing over 20 million of its citizens in the process).
One of the explanations I came up with is that Eastern European guys aren’t as sex-hungry/starved as their Western counterparts mostly due to experiencing much higher quality relationships with women who support their men. But after spending some more time in Ukraine, I realized that the real reason is actually something else.
A much clearer explanation eluded me for a long time until now: the reason for Eastern European men’s genuinely aloof behavior is that, unlike Western men, they do not worship women. They treat women as their equal and don’t give them special treatment simply because they happen to have two breasts and a vagina. I’m not saying that EE men treat their women badly; they don’t. They simply treat women as mere humans, not with some idolized and irrational reverence.
As poisonous Western culture is slowly seeping into ex-USSR countries, this is slowly changing, but if you travel to Russia, for instance, you will see relationships develop organically, without harmful Western media influence. You’ll see couples walking around: a decent looking guy with a very cute woman. While the guy will treat his woman right, he certainly won’t take any shit from her. I’m not saying that he’ll be a selfish jerk— his treatment will be just and fair, something that’s completely foreign to the typical Western male who worships women and the ground they walk on.
Spending lots of time living in Eastern Europe really solidified my understanding as to how harmful Western culture really is when it comes to relationships—as well as how harmful all the present ways of remedying the problems (e.g., “game” as well as all kinds of toxic relationship advice) can be as well.
Among the nice guys and the jerks
One of the prevailing beliefs in America (and in the rest of Anglo-Saxon world) is that women hate nice guys (actually they’re nice to them until it’s time to sleep with them and then they get rid of them) but love jerks. I’m sure you’ve seen countless pictures of some famous model or actress who is standing next to some bad-ass looking guy covered with tattoos, a guy who doesn’t look like he respects much of anything including himself.
This belief has always bothered for me one reason and one reason only: it’s complete bullshit. There’s no woman on this planet that looks at a guy and immediately determines whether he’s (a) a nice guy or (b) a jerk/douchebag.
Actually, the real reason that Nice Guys always finish last and get the short end of the stick is because they have no backbone. They don’t stand for anything. They’re born and raised to please others. That’s really what the whole ‘Nice Guy’ syndrome is all about.
’Nice Guys’ are also the quintessential women worshippers. They will put their needs way below the woman’s. They will prioritize women’s state above their own.
They’re always trying to “save” women from one “danger” to another. If the woman is not happy for some reason or another, they will ask her if they could do something—anything—to make her feel better. If the woman’s “jerk” boyfriend made her upset or hurt her (physically or emotionally) in some way, they will patiently listen to her vent and see if they could do anything to help.
Secretly, they’re looking to get closer to the woman, but the only person who knows this is the Nice Guy. The woman just sees a guy without any backbone, and such men never get access to her pussy.
What “jerks” have learned to do really well—better than most guys—is to not give a fuck about anything or anyone. They care about their own needs and their own needs only. Thus—you guessed it—they worship no one, much less women. They simply do what they want, when they want. Since they’re prioritizing their own needs above the women’s, women naturally find such behavior “sexy” and “attractive” which almost always leads to hot monkey sex.
You may be thinking, “Does that mean I need to become a jerk?” The answer is, no, of course you don’t. First of all, if you’re a nice guy who loves to program computers and helps old ladies cross the street, you can’t wake up tomorrow and turn into a jerk who rides motorcycles and has crazy tattoos all over his body. It doesn’t work like this.
And, besides, why would you want to? There are other ways of attracting women: like, well, by not worshipping them. Learn to take care of your needs first and foremost. After you get comfortable putting yourself first, women will notice that you’re a secure with who you are and find that attractive.
The art of conflict
Another thing that “jerks” do extremely well is that they never avoid conflict. They relish in conflict and embrace it. And rightly so because conflict is important. Conflict is good. There can be no relationship ever built (with women or fellow men) that’s completely void of any conflict.
People have different goals and objectives, so there needs to be a way to reach a compromise between all these competing wants and desires. When you avoid conflict, it shows that you’re weak and lack a backbone. It shows that you’re willing to accommodate others’ needs and wants above your own (it’s also a sign that you don’t know what you really want, a really bad trait).
If I met a beautiful woman who is my type in every way, but then I noticed her smoking in my car or house, and I’m a non-smoker who hates the smell of smoke, then I must tell her to put out the cigarette and not stink up the premises. If I’m going on a date with a girl and she suggests a vegetarian restaurant, but I’m a heavy meat eater and don’t feel good unless my meal has at least a half kilo of beef, I have to tell her that a vegetarian restaurant is a bad idea and suggest a compromise.
Whenever you don’t go along with someone else’s wants and wishes, there’s a possibility of conflict. A woman you’re seeing can refuse to put out the cigarette or go to a non-vegetarian restaurant. But that’s fine. (An unwillingness to compromise can be a sign of deeper relationship issues just lurking below the surface.) If I don’t let the woman know what I think—if I don’t risk conflict—then I’m secretly worshipping her.
Even after you’re in an established relationship, you should never shy away from conflict. A woman who knows that she can walk all over a guy also instinctively knows that this is a man who doesn’t really stand for anything; after all, he doesn’t have any needs, desires or points of view that he’s willing to fight for. She also knows that she can never trust this man.
One trait that I always admired in people is the willingness to say ‘no.’ I myself can be wishy-washy at times, but when I notice a man (or woman) say ‘no’ to one of my requests, I feel this person actually stands for something.
I’m not saying that you have to embrace conflict so much that you’re actually going out and looking for fights; that’s counterproductive to any relationship and doesn’t fix anything, what I’m saying is that you should never avoid conflict when it also means hiding your true needs and desires.
People who worship someone will never even remotely think of the mere possibility of stoking conflict. But that’s the beauty of conflict: it completely obliterates all worship.
They take huge dumps, too
A beautiful woman who you personally haven’t gotten to know yet should never warrant your worship or admiration. When you worship such a woman, what you’re actually doing is projecting all your insecurities and weaknesses onto another human being. You think such a woman will “complete” you; that by being with her, you will somehow become a better man and fill in some void in your life and your heart.
In other words, without her you’re a complete mess, a lost cause, but when she’s by your side, you suddenly gain your wings and feel like you can conquer the world. These are nothing more than rationalizations to worship someone.
The way to stop this vicious cycle of worshipping women is by becoming a bit more skeptical and never judging a book by its cover. It's by realizing that you don’t know anything about the woman of your desire until you get to know her and discover for yourself. If it’s a woman you don’t know, you need to understand what she’s all about before you brag to all your friends that “you got a number of a perfect 10.” You must understand that women are mere humans, and so it’s pretty foolish to brag that you obtained a telephone number of another human (brag when you cure cancer or AIDS).
All women wake up, put on makeup, go to the bathroom and take a dump. They make mistakes. They’re not perfect. Like us, men, they’re also trying to get by in this world by working with what they have.
But, above all, understand that the moment you start thinking that a woman will somehow complete you and, therefore, begin worshipping her is the exact moment you’re defining a specific role for her in your life: a distant and nebulous object of worship, not someone with whom you can have a loving and fulfilling relationship—including hot and passionate monkey sex.