My last encounter with an American woman was such a soul-crushing and thought-provoking event that I was forced to go back to Europe on a yet another soul-searching mission.
It made me realize how much less I’m able to connect and “get” American girls; where as before I could at least tolerate them.
Over the years I’ve adjusted my interaction with non-American and non-Western women in many ways — ways that I’m afraid could be completely irreversible if I ever need to get into the pants of an American girl.
I Almost Never Tease or “Neg”
With American women it’s always a contest: who has a better job, who makes more money, and who has bigger balls. If you prove worthy to merit her limited attention span, your reward will be a series of tests designed to elicit self-validation and put you off balance. One misstep and game’s over.
You’re supposed to bring out this so called “alpha male” persona — the one women have been conditioned over and over by Hollywood and other media to accept as the only one worthy of their time. If you don’t possess the movie-star looks of Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise, then you better make that up by out-dueling her with witty conversation. And that’s why teasing and “negging” works so well: you’re finally able to showcase your natural or learned “alpha” traits and win her attraction.
In the rest of the world being a confident man is more than enough to win attraction from most women. You just have to approach, and the rest naturally falls into pieces.
I compliment more
On one of my most memorable nights in one of Rio de Janeiro’s best nightclubs, I remember approaching a beautiful woman without any games, lines, or gimmicks. I simply smiled and said that I couldn’t believe a beautiful woman like herself was sitting all alone (she was truly stunning). She smiled, and feeling flattered responded whether I start a conversation with every woman like that. Can you imagine a beautiful American woman responding the same way? She sure wasn’t bitchy and defensive like a typical American woman in similar situation.
Women love compliments they deem as sincere and genuine. Know the typical Italian behavior towards women? How they usually go overboard complimenting every woman by calling them “bella donna, beautiful, etc”? Well, that stuff works very well because non-American women usually respond very warmly to compliments. Of course, you must fine a fine line between being too stoic and too complimenting, and recalibrate that line for every woman you meet.
Overtime my game has naturally adjusted more to the complimenting and sweet-talking side rather than my dick and combative side. It has worked pretty well.
I’m More Chivalrous
Many years ago when I went on one of my first dates with an American girl (most of my conquests in US were South American and Eastern European), I behaved the same exact way as I used to with other girls: I opened doors, let her go in first, got the check — except this time my date couldn’t help by blabbing out, “are you going to keep doing this all night?” as if her state of femininity was somehow threatened by my “condescending” behavior.
Being of Eastern European descent, I always felt it was important for men to be chivalrous to a certain extent. I find it natural behavior to let a woman go in somewhere first, open doors, and help them with putting on coats in winters. I’ve done it for my mother all my life, and continue to do it with women in certain situation.
A Latvian girl I met in Sweden commented right away how she found it strange when Swedes never opened the door for her.
This is has nothing to do with somehow pedestaling the girl, but more about being a bit more considerate to the weaker sex in non-feminized countries (which includes most of the world).
I’m Willing To Spend Money
Typical American dating rituals involves going to a bar, jumping through a few hoops so that you don’t buy her drink (i.e., I’ll buy the first round, if you buy the next), getting her drunk, then taking her home.
But the expectations are different in other parts of the world. In Eastern Europe, it’s fully expected for the guy to pay for the girl (at least initially), since he was the one who invited her initially. In exchange, you get to have a great interaction with a quality woman, instead of some crackberry addict with prepared interview questions or an over-the-hill stalker with family aspirations. You may pay for dinner and drinks one day, but next time she’ll gladly come over and whip up a great meal for you, or even clean your house wearing nothing but high heels.
One night at a salsa club in Medellin, Colombia, after I bought a bottle of rum, my date quickly fixed me up a drink without me saying a word. She then asked me if I liked the drink, else she would fix it to my satisfaction. When was the last time an American girl EVER did something like this to you?
And I’m perfectly OK paying more than my share if I get non-tangible benefits in return.
I Don’t Play Games
When I called an American girl 3 days after our first date to see how she is and possibly schedule a future date, she immediately asked if I’m running some “3 day rule”. It’s hard to describe in words how pissed off I felt when the first thing someone tells you is not a simple “Hi” or “how are you?” but throw a test your way to see how you would react.
Are you that insecure that you don’t believe some guy actually called you without any premeditated planning whatsoever? That perhaps the world is not a series of planned steps to be executed in perfect sequence?
In most of the world outside US and Canada (e.g., in Brazil, Argentina, Romania and Ukraine), one can invite the girl out the same night after meeting her earlier during the day. I invited a Brazilian girl I met at a cafe for a drink the same evening, and since she had no plans yet, she gladly agreed. In America you can forget about this tactic mostly because the girl will think you’re desperate by not keeping yourself busy seven days a week like she is: by attending Yoga, Pilates, Cycling classes or simply having a slumber party with her girlfriends even though she’s well over 25 or 30 years old.
I no longer view seduction as “work” like I did in America, but a fun and fulfilling activity for both parties. Where as in America guys strongly believe in the numbers game since that’s the only way to rationalize the amount of work one must put it, abroad things are skewed towards quality. I know for a fact that the cute brunette sitting at the coffee shop will most likely be polite to my advances whether she’ll want to talk to me or turn me down; and regardless if she had a bad day, etc.
I don’t get cock blocked, I don’t get into fights with aggressive “mother hens” and it’s back to actually seducing women instead of “gaming” them. And truth be told, why would you have it any other way?
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James Maverick used to work in a cubicle as a code monkey in Silicon Valley. Then, in 2007, he quit his job and a one-way ticket to Brazil. Ever since, he continued to travel, visiting over 85 countries and living in more than a dozen of them. He loved his location-independent lifestyle and has no plans to live in America.