Vietnamese Women: The Hard Truth They Don’t Want You To Know

Vietnam has always been one country that was always on my travel bucket list. My numerous trips to Thailand took me one step closer to Vietnam. In fact, the country’s proximity to Thailand would’ve made it the perfect getaway for a quick visa run.

This Southeast Asian country seemingly has it all: beautiful beaches, low cost of living and, and last but definitely not least, beautiful women. 

Since I haven’t been to Vietnam, I’ve asked my friend Roberto to write about his experiences in the country. I met Roberto back in 2015 while he was on a short trip to Kyiv, Ukraine. Roberto is originally from Mexico but has been living in Vietnam for over four years. For as long as I’ve known Roberto, he’s always had a thing for Asian women, and after dating lots of women for a long time, he finally settled down with a Vietnamese girlfriend.

Roberto, why don’t you tell us about Vietnamese women.


I love Vietnam. Although I’ve spent a good amount of time in Thailand, I realized that Thailand is rapidly becoming Westernized—plus Thailand has been making it really hard for foreigners to stay long term—so I decided to explore another Southeastern country: Vietnam.

Vietnam is very similar to Thailand. It’s the same tropical climate, the same hustle, and bustle, the same great food (different but still great). 

But there are crucial differences as well. First of all, I’d say that Vietnam (especially the northern part) is closer to China in mentality than to its Southeast Asian counterparts. Vietnamese women (more on that soon) are more conservative than Thai women. Thailand is a more developed country than Vietnam and, as an English speaker, you’ll have an easier time in the former than in the latter.

Vietnam also has a reputation for more scams than other countries in the region. Everyone out there has known someone that was somehow ripped off in Vietnam (you’d probably get ripped off, too [chuckles]). Moreover, in Asia, when you’re ripped off, it’s never violent or anything. It’s usually something very innocent, that you even don’t realize until you get home or the very next day.

The women

Vietnamese women are very traditional and conservative. Of course, there are exceptions, but I’m speaking in a general sense here. I feel they’re closer in mentality to Chinese women (especially in the Northern part, in the city of Hanoi). 

Vietnamese women are some of the most traditional and family-oriented of all Southeast Asian women. Even more so than Thai women. Whereas Thai women are quickly going the way of Western women (especially in Bangkok), Vietnamese women have retained their traditional characteristics and charm.

Most people believe that it’s the Eastern European women that are traditional, but after spending a year living in Ukraine, Vietnamese women are traditional on a completely another level. (My experience has shown that Ukrainian women are actually far from conservative that people make them out to be, but that’s for another article.)

Are Vietnamese the most traditional in the world? I would say so, but I haven’t been to China yet to compare them with what I view as mega traditional Chinese women.

The ultimate marriage material

The ultimate goal for the majority of Vietnamese women is marriage. All good Vietnamese women are looking into getting serious relationships where the end goal is marriage and kids.

That’s also why relationships move extremely fast in Vietnam. You meet a girl, enter a relationship, and, before you know it, you’re married with a kid or two. Just kidding (but not really).

My personal experience mirrors this. I would meet a girl, go on a few dates with her, build attraction, and right after we have sex, she’d feel that we’re now exclusive and start acting like my girlfriend. All of this usually happened so quickly that I barely had a chance to reflect what had actually happened.

This is obviously very different from how American and other Western women act. To an average American woman, sex means almost nothing, so it takes a lot more than mere sex to get her interested in you. That’s because of a typical Western woman, sex is a regular act as breathing. It takes a lot more to get a girl attached to you than just having sex.

In a sense, an average Vietnamese woman is like what an American woman was fifty years ago or so. It’s like traveling back in time.

Vietnamese and Filipino women

When I initially moved to Vietnam, I couldn’t help to compare Vietnamese women to the women in the Philippines, a country where I spent about a year before that.

There are a lot of similarities between Vietnamese and Filipino women (and also Indonesian women). Both are very sexy. Both are looking for a husband. And both can be very cunning and manipulative in order to get what they want. The main difference comes down to your taste of women and the country itself. I personally didn’t like the Philippines too much (I thought it was a shithole) and find Vietnam much more hospitable for a good quality of life.

Having said that, I do believe that Filipino women are a tad sexier than Vietnamese women, but only just that—a tad. Both are great options, so you shouldn’t be disappointed with either one.

Family connections

When you marry a Vietnamese woman, you marry her entire family. That’s just how it is. That means many things such as more responsibility, connections and even possibly unexpected financial obligations.

One of the sticking topics, when it comes marrying a local woman for Westerners, is that they’re automatically perceived as having lots of money so the family might pressure your new wife for some financial “help.” In order to avoid this problem, make sure you marry a woman from a good family instead of a woman whose family doesn’t have much money and sees you like an unlimited ATM account.

On the other hand, family connections can be one of your biggest assets. They can help you with things that you otherwise couldn’t do yourself, especially in a country like Vietnam where it really helps to know locals that you can trust. So, like nothing, there are various pros and cons to this arrangement.

The dating game plan

Dating in Vietnam isn’t much different from the rest of the world. The following is my game plan when dating Vietnamese women.

For the first date, I like to keep super simple. A coffee house. A fun bar. Maybe even a walk. Something like that. What I don’t like to do is invite a girl over to a full-blown restaurant and then see her order the most expensive items on the menu. 

Yes, this has happened to me a couple of times. So, by inviting her to a basic coffee shop or a bar, I instantly filter out all the gold diggers (more on that later) and only deal with women who’re interested in meeting a new man in their life.

For the second date, I like to do something similar, maybe see a movie or something or just go for a long walk so that the woman gets more comfortable with me. I view these dates as nothing more than tools to build comfort. 

Then, for the third date, I like to invite a girl over my pad to watch some Netflix and hang out. Maybe drink some wine (or whatever else the girl likes). Once we’re on the couch, I make my move and go for the kill.

While I’ve gotten pushbacks and rejections every now and then, this strategy has been solid and has worked really well. 

A quick tip: don’t bring up the topic of sex early on in the interaction. This is not America where you can talk about sex in the first ten minutes of meeting a girl. A Vietnamese girl can be easily turned off with your aggressiveness and stop answering your messages. This has happened to me when I first arrived in the country, but now I know better.

Other than that, just apply standard game and you should be all good.

Warning signs and red flags

While Vietnamese women are super feminine and affectionate, not all of them have your best interests in mind. Remember, Vietnam is a country of scams, more so than other Southeast Asian countries, so it naturally helps to keep your guard up when dealing with these women.

If a woman mentions the topic of money, especially in the initial stages of dating, take it as a huge red flag. Such women are most likely after your wallet and other resources and aren’t interested in you as a person, regardless of what they say. Ignore such women and move on.

If a woman is ready to have sex with you upon meeting you and doesn’t hesitate to come back to your place (or hotel) after the first date, realize that she’s probably has done it before. Whether that makes her suitable for a long-term relationship or even marriage is really up to you.

Other red flags are if a woman broaches the topic of sex first. As typical Vietnamese women typically don’t talk about sex right away, this is another red flag. Also, watch out for the usual signs: if she smokes, has tattoos, there’s tension in the family, etc. 

But all of these flags are just that: flags. Ultimately, you have to trust your gut and decide if it’s someone with whom you can have a great time or someone with whom you can build a family with. Nobody else can make that decision for you except yourself.

Where to meet Vietnamese women 

Vietnamese women are everywhere. Unlike in America, they’re not really used to be approached by random guys, so if you decide to do that, you will have a certain advantage over the other guys. You can approach them in malls, coffee shops, restaurants, etc. Anytime a girl catches your eye, don’t hesitate to approach her and say hi.

Out of all the times that I’ve approached women, I’ve never had a situation where I was outright rejected and made fun of. So, don’t worry about being labeled as “creep” or anything like that. That won’t happen. The worst that might happen is that a woman will politely decline your approach. In that case, you can just approach a new woman. In the end, it’s all a numbers game, anyway.

Nightlife in Vietnam is definitely happening but, because, the list of bars and clubs changes rapidly. You should get the latest data when you get on the ground. 

One way to show a Vietnamese girl a good time would be to take her out for karaoke. Karaoke is big in Vietnam and chances are your girl has been doing it for a long time. Thus, she would absolutely be open and excited to go.

How to meet Vietnamese women online

A much better way to meet Vietnamese women would be online. Not only are the women of a higher caliber, but you can start meeting them while you’re still sitting on your couch in your apartment whether you’re in LA, NYC, London or somewhere else. That’s called pipelining and is really a solid way to build up a list of women to meet so that you don’t waste much time when you arrive in the country.

There’s definitely no shortage of online dating sites to meet Vietnamese women. First, we have the infamous Tinder where you can swipe left or right, depending on whether you’re interested or not interested in the woman. Tinder works well, but there’s one problem: the women on it are mostly low quality who’s not really suitable for long term relationships.

A much better online dating site for meeting women is Vietnam Cupid. (Check out our review of Vietnam Cupid here.) It’s a site that I personally used when I first arrived in Vietnam and helped me land my first quality girlfriend. Compared to Tinder, the women you meet on Vietnam Cupid are of much higher quality than you’ll find pretty much elsewhere. I highly recommend this site to every man who wants to meet Vietnamese women.

Final thoughts

Well, that was longer than I expected. Thankfully, you don’t need much to get started. All you need to do is get on one of these dating sites, start chatting with women and then book your trip to Vietnam.

Now, it’s your turn.